Problems with cliques (groups of friends)

[Richey]

alright so my cousin and his friends are so tight together when it comes to talking, i actually find it amazing how they can bounce so much wit from each other and it can be intimidating, with inside jokes, they can just be silly all the time, i think this all stems from them knowing each other for ages and so they feel comfortable with one another, but they also have girls hitting on them at the pub, they look great too even i can admit this they stay fit and all, ...i just feel like they are in a completely different league, so i now avoid them at all costs, because i cant seem to shake this inferior feeling when im around them ....i dont know if youve ever experianced this, you meet or know someone but when they are in their group its like they switch into another zone of character ...and they are all very outgoing, i just sit there having no idea how to respond to them, its like a level of "coolness" and "egoness" im not used to ...no offence to them, they havent done anything wrong, if anything they are at least being positive role models...

its a complete head fuck though when i cant seem to fit in as much as i try too.

 

[Fighter86]

I'm sorry that you were in that situation, I empathise with you as I understand how it feels like to be in the same situation. Some people tend to move around in cliques, but I suspect, from what I've observed, people are not adverse to others joining their groups or themselves joining other groups. As it is, the ones who are really tight in their cliques are the popular and snobbish ones. I had once or twice needed to join this popular clique for lunch or something, it was terrible. Having said that though, not everyone in the clique was mean, some can be quite nice and I've spoken to them on a couple of other occasions.



Anyway, back to what I was going to ask, do you know your cousin well? If you do, you and him can still go out and do things on your own and have fun. You do not have to belong to a clique to form close friendships. I do not have an active social life granted, but my brother does and from what I see, he is close friends with several people, and rather is not a member of a clique. Well, he was when he was in secondary school, but after they left that school, the 'clique' sort of split up and he hardly talks to them now. So I'll say its more important and healthy to form friendships with people you feel comfortable with than to be accepted into a group sometimes.