Pretending to be cool

[AtTheGates]

does anyone here ever feel pressure to appear "cool", trendy, or even just average in social situations? I like the idea of just being myself unabashedly. just being a complete dork without having to worry about what people think. I hate having to tone down my personality in social situations.

 

[Graeme1988]

does anyone here ever feel pressure to appear "cool", trendy, or even just average in social situations? I hate having to tone down my personality in social situations simply out if fear.

Aye, aw tha time. Because ah don't want people thinkin' ah'm weird for havin' not kept up wi' tha latest pop culture. But that's just show how much status matter nowadays.

Also, feelin' that ah huv tae impress people by how "trendy" an' "cool" I am.

Ah also feel pressure to be funny as well, ah don't know aboot you?

I like the idea of just being myself unabashedly. just being a complete dork without having to worry about what people think.

Ah like that idea as well.

 

[AtTheGates]

yeah I often try to make people laugh in social situations. Sometimes its hard though because iv had times where people didnt like my sense of humor or misinterpreted something I said and just thought it was weird....some people dont understand gallows humor and other odd types of humor(Louis C.K., Bill Hicks)

There's also been a few other times where im just hanging out with a group of guys, joking around making everybody laugh but then a girl shows up and the vibe just changes completely..

 

[Graeme1988]

yeah I often try to make people laugh in social situations. Sometimes its hard though because iv had times where people didnt like my sense of humor or misinterpreted something I said and just thought it was weird....some people dont understand gallows humor and other odd types of humor(Louis C.K., Bill Hicks)

Ah see by the mention of Louis C.K and Bill Hicks that you have a dark, twisted sense of humour - me too.

Some folk don't like ma sense o' humour, either. Since ah can say summit intended as funny an' they just look at me narrow-eyed.

There's also been a few other times where im just hanging out with a group of guys, joking around making everybody laugh but then a girl shows up and the vibe just changes completely..

Aye, that's awkward, isn't it?

Though, and this might an unfair generalisation but, some lassies tend to be react to the darker, more gallows humour by being offended by it.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

does anyone here ever feel pressure to appear "cool", trendy, or even just average in social situations? I like the idea of just being myself unabashedly. just being a complete dork without having to worry about what people think. I hate having to tone down my personality in social situations simply out if fear.

I knew I recognized your user name, didn't they have a song in Rock Band 2? Pretty good band from what I've heard.

*Edit, yep. Blinded by Fear, good song

 

[AtTheGates]

I knew I recognized your user name, didn't they have a song in Rock Band 2? Pretty good band from what I've heard.

*Edit, yep. Blinded by Fear, good song

indeed. They're a great band. they're one of the forefathers of melodic death metal which seems to have morphed into metalcore over the years.

 

[Hellhound]

Haha, nope. Most pointless thing ever. I am myself and I'm not here to entertain anyone.

 

[NamiraWilhelm]

I think a lot of us anxious types strive to appear 'normal' believing it'll give us an easier life, actually making us more depressed! I will try to behave myself around certain people, definitely.

 

[AtTheGates]

I think trying to ahere to other people's definition of "cool" or "normal" can be really oppressive. it doesnt leave you a whole lot of room to be YOURSELF and after a while your personality starts to die little by little until you become an empty shell. its often like walking on a tight rope in a single file line with a bunch of people all just trying to fit in and if you deviate even just a LITTLE bit people will mock/judge you for being "different". I CAN do that and iv done it before but its really just not appealing enough to me...The stress and anxiety isnt worth it especially when it involves oppressing my own personality.

"different" or "weird" is just another word for not being the EXACT same as everyone else...and yet some people seem to use it as somewhat of a derogatory term.

 

[coolbeans]

I think for a long time I didn't really know who I was, I went pretty far out of my way to avoid social situations, so I didn't have a "personality" to express. I was me, but I never thought about how I did or didn't express that to others. I was so anxious and desperate to be away from others that I couldn't think.

Now I'm much more me. I'm a straight up dork without concern that anyone will like it. I still have my massively awkward moments, but I get over it. I'm not a seeker of social situations even now, but I can enjoy them when I find myself in them.

 

[hippiechild]

Of course. It's only natural to desire approval in the eyes of others if you're a social ape, as we are. "Cool" is relative though.