PLEASE PLEASE HELP, SOOOOOO SHY!!!!!

gem

Member
Hi Im new to this site!

I relate with most of what everyone has said. I am so shy and anxious in all situations and it is all really getting on top of me. I have recently seen a councilor (a work coleague of my mother's) my mum is aware of my situation but doesn't really understand. Anyway, I met this guy and I felt shy straight away as he was quite good looking with tones of confidence.

He basically told me that if I think people think Im a freak that is what they will think! This made me feel worse as it makes me dwell on the situation. I always always have negitive thoughts in my head. My mum thinks I put thoughts into people's heads, but I think the concillor explained it better.

I don't know what to do. He gave me a book (Paul Mckenna) but it kind of tells you to change your way of thinking. This doesn't come easy.

Anyone please HELP!!!!!

Would like to talk to anyone in the same situation. By the way I am 23. Think Im too old too be experienceing this. Have been shy for as long as I can remember!

HELP!!!
 

Haughton

New member
Hello,

I'm a 29 year old guy and I have also been shy as long as I can remember. There are a few things that I have learned. When I am in a good mood I am able to talk to other people more and they respond better than when I let myself get down. I notice that when I let things get me down, I usually say very little to nothing.

I've noticed that when I start to feel down, if I try and think of something that makes me happy, I can sometimes pull myself out of the self pity. It doesn't always work and sometimes it can seem very hard, but I know that I have to keep doing it.

Another thing that I have learned is that if I find myself dwelling on things that go wrong, I have to keep telling myself to stop. If I don't I can stay in a cycle of self loathing for days. I just have to keep saying to myself that I cannot change the past, I can only change the way that I view the situation. I know that it probably sounds silly, but sometimes it works.
 

Elkapath

Active member
Haughton said:
Hello,

When I am in a good mood I am able to talk to other people more and they respond better than when I let myself get down. I notice that when I let things get me down, I usually say very little to nothing.

thats true sometimes I feel happy and i sing to my self and dance and be silly and when i go somewhere i feel in a good mood so i do talk more
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
Hi!

I just wanted to say that I see a psychologist and he says that I had to change my thinking also. I used to think a lot of people hated me or that people were going to reject me...It was like it was all in my head. I did change my thinking to a degree....I'm still shy but I'm much more happier now than before going to see the therapist....It is hard though...and I had to be very patient with myself.....It took months before I really understood how to change my thoughts and it took more months to really test out the strategies...and work them until they became effective...It is a lot of hard work ( and you really have to be honest to yourself)...but it's worth it! Anything that is worth anything requires effort and energy to be spent...
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
Changing your thinking is indeed the path to a cure. Yep, it's hard, I'm still working on it, and I'm 31! (too old for this shit, LOL)

Good luck to you!!!
 

richkid

Well-known member
Psychology is extremly intresting to me thats why i studied it at A-level and Uni. Does the phrase I think therefore I am ring a bell. Well you know its true no matter how you analyse it it works. Look at the situation your in now, you think negative people repsoned to that negativity. So the trick is to turn it around but thats something you have to do no body can do that for you. Paul hypno guy should help, find more people that use these techniques. Thats all they are techniques, skills that have to be learned. Look up Derren Brown watch his programmes, on his web site he talks about building a rapport with someone and he has LEARNT to do this very effectively. Tricks of the mind! learn them use them. It can't hurt, what have you got to lose.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
shyness

Hi- I know what you mean, and can empathize- it's really hard!
but recently, I decided to do something about it! and started looking at websites, etc. to see how I can help myself- well, mainly I found out that you have to start thinking positively, as the other people on this forum have said. just go for it- practice, and soon it'll come more naturally
hope I helped
 

monica

Active member
hi!!

my therapist recommends tell nice things about us in the mirror,that always works im sure some of you are doing that
example: Im atractive and people pay attention to me


sorry about my english :wink:
 
Hypnotherapy can help

Hi Gem,

Shyness can be a real curse, because it's at its strongest when we most want to be sociable - for example, when in the company of an attractive stranger. The more attractive they are, the more prone to shyness we might feel.

Some good news. Shyness isn't 'all or nothing' - just about everybody experiences some shyness, and you cand efinitely reduce its impact. Second piece of good news. Shyness can be 'trained out'. I'm a hypnotherapist, so naturally I focus on hypnosis as a therapy, but I know that my CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) colleagues also have good success rates.

I suggest you find a hypnotherapist or cognitive therapist and ask for their help. It's a very worthwhile investment, not least because mastering your shyness - even partial mastery - will also illustrate to you just how much you can direct your future development.

As a final thought - feel free to visit my site (link below). We've helped lots of people suffering from shyness and related anxieties.

Good luck!
 

yelo

Member
So Shy

Sometimes when I get home, am so angry at myself for not talkin to that person or for not havin tha guts to go to that place and I sit down in front of my comp, compile my fave upbeat songs, put on my headphones and play them loud while I surf. By the end of this self-therapy I'll most likely be feeling better and next day if negative thoughts start creeping up, I play some of the songs in my head. Not very effective but it has helped me now and then.
 
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