Please be honest with me.

andy316

Active member
I have just about had it with social anxiety. This is by far the worst thing that is stopping me from so many things. I constantly think about what people think of me, over analyze everything, and I cannot stop my brain from doing it. I am great with 1-on-1, but it all goes downhill when you include another person.

I don't care what medication it is..please tell me what REALLY worked for you. It could be ABSOLUTELY anything. I will have my break in winter, and I am gonna do whatever I can before next year.

To be honest I am at the brink of mental collapse..if I have to live like this(with no friends, no one around me here at campus), I am probably going to kill myself. I have no intention of leaving like this and if my parents regret whatever they have done to me later, then justice has been served.

EDIT:Just to add, I could definitely go with something that you can take it before going out/social event. I would only use that before going out. Anyone has some good recommendations?
 
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nosferatu

Well-known member
I've decided that I'm going to kill myself (I already have it planned out) next year if things continue like this. I'm going to make one last effort to improve my life and if it doesn't work out, then it's over. I just can't take it anymore.
 

andy316

Active member
hi andy, have you tried CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)?

Our place here has something called "social" group.Went with it a couple of months ago, worthless. They said that it was CBT, but was told nothing on how to cope, what to do, etc.

I doubt they even knew what CBT really was.

I know I should avoid oral medication, but honestly, this thing is absolutely ruining my life. I get invited to parties, and my social phobia and anxieties all come. I start feeling like running away. Horrible feeling.
 

andy316

Active member
Do you feel like you're "not there" sometimes?

No, I feel like everyone is judging me secretly..people who are laughing I feel like they are laughing at me.This all is because how I was treated during my childhood.

I CANNOT stand people who judge me(even if it harmless).
 

jaim38

Well-known member
No, I feel like everyone is judging me secretly..people who are laughing I feel like they are laughing at me.This all is because how I was treated during my childhood.

I CANNOT stand people who judge me(even if it harmless).

I feel exactly the same way. When I see people looking in my direction and laughing, I think they are laughing at me.
 

andy316

Active member
I swear I saw someone post here about a medication, but that post is gone now. What happened? He was saying he made a huge progress with it.


EDIT:Just to add, I could definitely go with something that you can take it before going out/social event. I would only use that before going out. Anyone has some good recommendations?
 
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surewhynot

Well-known member
I really don't think that medication is the right answer. It's all about your state of mind. You need to put yourself out there and really make sacrifices to try and be social. You are not going to find a magic pill that will make all your problems dissapear. You have to be dedicated enough to learn to be social, if that's truely what you want.
 

Lowlight

Well-known member
What is it that you want to get out of social interactions?

Do you want a handful of people to hang out with, or are you just looking for one or two people to have a deep connection with.

Do you find parties fun at all, or are they just a venue to find a friend? If you had some friends what would you do with them to have a good time?



I’m trying to find the right words with this. On the issue of people judging you, I think you need to get a fire going in your belly. Here is a famous clip that I think about when I feel others are judging me. These lines relate especially.

I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! - Kinetic Typography - YouTube

“We know things are bad, worse than bad. They’re crazy. It like everything everywhere is going crazy so we don’t go out anymore. We sit in the house and slowly the world we’re living in is getting smaller…”

“You’ve got to say, ‘I’m a human being, Goddamnit. My life has value!’”

“I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore! Then we’ll figure out what to do…”


What right does anyone have to make you feel bad about yourself? How dare anyone try to pull that with you. The people who would look down on you, without giving you a fair shake, are pitifully weak and not worth the bones in their bodies. Tell yourself that the next time someone gives you a dirty look or makes a snide remark. And don’t think just because there are a lot of these worms out there that their actions are anymore justified.

If you are truly a good person, not judging people by wealth of money or friends or anything corporeal, then you don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you are. You deserve good friends because you are you! You can work out the details later, but for now you have to believe that you are worth something and that a person would be better off from knowing you. Get excited about your life.
 

andy316

Active member
What is it that you want to get out of social interactions?

Do you want a handful of people to hang out with, or are you just looking for one or two people to have a deep connection with.

Do you find parties fun at all, or are they just a venue to find a friend? If you had some friends what would you do with them to have a good time?



I’m trying to find the right words with this. On the issue of people judging you, I think you need to get a fire going in your belly. Here is a famous clip that I think about when I feel others are judging me. These lines relate especially.

I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! - Kinetic Typography - YouTube

“We know things are bad, worse than bad. They’re crazy. It like everything everywhere is going crazy so we don’t go out anymore. We sit in the house and slowly the world we’re living in is getting smaller…”

“You’ve got to say, ‘I’m a human being, Goddamnit. My life has value!’”

“I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore! Then we’ll figure out what to do…”


What right does anyone have to make you feel bad about yourself? How dare anyone try to pull that with you. The people who would look down on you, without giving you a fair shake, are pitifully weak and not worth the bones in their bodies. Tell yourself that the next time someone gives you a dirty look or makes a snide remark. And don’t think just because there are a lot of these worms out there that their actions are anymore justified.

If you are truly a good person, not judging people by wealth of money or friends or anything corporeal, then you don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you are. You deserve good friends because you are you! You can work out the details later, but for now you have to believe that you are worth something and that a person would be better off from knowing you. Get excited about your life.

Thanks for telling me. I honestly want to find a group to hang out with, because I believe with that I will definitely change and be a lot better. I like parties, but with people that I know and not complete strangers.

If you really know me as a person, you would know I maybe the most loyal friend you will ever have. And that is my problem. People really don't see that and do not even appreciate that.

What point to life is if you don't even get what you feel you deserve? If there is God up there, how cruel is this? Are you willing to tell me that the worthless *******s out there have all the fun while the good ones get punished for no reason?

I already am the unluckiest person out there, and now I am being forced here to be alone all throughout college. Even if I try, it doesn't work. Either it ends up with they leaving me or judging me negatively and thus avoiding me. I don't even know now what I need to do to make friends. All it ends up is me being alone all the time or getting judged.
 
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Flanscho

Well-known member
A decade ago, I could barely talk to people. This year, I went to several festivals, met a dozen new people, went to a dozen parties and what not.

So, things improved for me. Only slowly, but they did.

What I did, and that might work just for me and not for you, was:
- first, I moved away from my family, so that I'd become more independant
- I moved into a flat I shared with other people, to have more contact to people and get to know more people
- the city I moved in was pretty large. That would allow me to find there friends more easily
- over the years, I built up a circle of friends
- I did more and more stuff with those people, and got to know them better
- after many many years, I moved out of the flat that I shared with others, and into my own flat, closer to most of my friends

Well, and that worked.
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
I've decided that I'm going to kill myself (I already have it planned out) next year if things continue like this. I'm going to make one last effort to improve my life and if it doesn't work out, then it's over. I just can't take it anymore.

Get help, there IS a solution... really.

Are you in therapy or meds?
 

bcsr

Well-known member
There is no magic pill or instant fix. CBT works, but it takes time and a lot of work. You WILL feel uncomfortable, and WILL have to go through exposure sessions. I'm sorry to say, but social anxiety is not something that you can "cure" in a few weeks.

These fears are developed (and reinforced by avoidance) for years, it's going to take time and commitment to change. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is starting therapy and then not committing to it. They either don't do the "homework" exposure, or they quit going because the results aren't immediate. If there was a fast and easy "cure" no one would suffer from social anxiety.
 

gustavofring

Well-known member
I find that sticking to a combination of exposure (pushing yourself out there), mindfulness (watching your thoughts, meditating, going out of the stream of thought and mind) and healthy living (normal sleep patterns, exercise, healthy food) helps a lot.

The exposure is the hardest part for me to keep up but I'm working on it.
 

Insect

Member
try anything and everything. if you do nothing nothing will change.

i would suggest rejection therapy. intentionally make someone say no to you at least once a day. example - ask someone at a shop if you can have something for free. its fun and worked for me in the past.

well good luck with that : - p
 
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