AtTheGates
Banned
projected onto ME throughout my youth. I dont think they intended it but I think they unloaded all their negative vibes from their relationship problems onto ME (and not my brother and sister) because i was the youngest and have always been the blacksheep of the family. I think by the time i was born their marriage was under alot of strain and I was slightly more difficult to raise than my brother and sister so they got fed up with me alot..I actually think they only wanted to have TWO kids so I think my dad resented the fact that I wasnt aborted(but im not 100% sure about that part). he couldnt handle having an extra kid. I think maybe my brother and sister picked up on that vibe too and inadvertently where conditioned to dislike me basically just by seeing how my parents interacted with me. instead of my dad putting in extra effort to coach me through life and work with me he just cut corners because he had better things to do (like hang out with my brother). Now here I am at age 24, a social screw up because I had to go through a series of trial and error events in order to figure out HOW to be "normal". I wish someone had just worked with me and told me what to do YEARS ago so I wouldnt have gone down the wrong road in life and had to back-track to the crossroads that I presently stand at . im in-between chapters in life but I cant really blame anyone for my current situation because now im old enough to figure things out for myself. I just wish I would have figured some things out earlier on...I can only LEARN from the past. im standing stagnant at a metaphorical crossroads. i just have to figure out which road is the right one for me and then start walking down it..HOPING that it wont lead to another dead end.
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