Not being able to connect with people?

froghat

Well-known member
I'm not sure how I'm ever gonna find a girlfriend, if I can't ever feel confident or comfortable enough to look someone in the eyes and just act natural instead of my usual overthinking, worrying, and houghts of looking odd. Yes, I'm shy and it's hard to get to know new people, but my main problem is feeling awkward and disconnected from people when I finally get to know someone. I could never sit down with someone at a table and have a 1 on 1 conversation with someone without feeling distant and uncomfortable. I'm not sure what came first, confidence problems or the eye contact problem. Either way, it feels like I'm trapped in hell. Distant from everyone. I can't even do this with my parents or sisters. It's beyond frustrating and I don't know what to do. I've tried to forced myself to look into people eyes, but it feels unnatural and just makes things more awkward. Do you think any therapist could help me with this problem? My last therapist sucked, so now I'm worried about spending big moola on another one. The CBT didn't seem to work. Do you guys have any suggestions or people who I should see for this? thanks
 

Lea

Banned
I can only say I understand you, but sadly I don´t have suggestions. If I did, I would use them myself.
 

mewdew

Member
how long did you try? you need to keep trying.. you said you can't even do this with your parents or sisters?? Well, there's your easiest place to start.. your parents or sisters aren't going to judge you. They will be more understanding than most other people too. Just practice with them.

Yea it's really uncomfortable and it sucks and you'd rather not do it, I know.. but a lot of the reasons for why you don't feel comfortable is because you haven't had enough good experiences. Talk to your family.. look them in the eye when you talk to them or when they talk to you, ask them how their day was and tell them about your day and just talk about whatever you like! weather, sports, politics, or any hobbies.. just anything you think you share interests with.

And yes, therapy will help.. meds will also make things easier. You can do it by yourself too, but it'll be harder.
 

Anomaly

Well-known member
Find someone with similar interests. If you can find a topic both of you are interested in, you'll be more comfortable talking about it. It's basically what I have to do - I can't exactly create an exciting and remotely interesting conversation out of nowhere.
 

kuhtreen

Well-known member
I don't have problems with eye contact, but I DEFINITELY relate to everything you said about feeling disconnected. It freakin sucks.
 
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