No social life = No life???

planemo

Well-known member
Well I pretty much have no life to speak of. I'm bored most of the time, and throughout my life I never had fun on my days off (weekends and holidays). I just spend my time at home watching tv. I never get exposed to anything enjoyable especially involving other people. No eating out, no movies to watch, no time spent outdoors and no time enjoying others company. Just me, myself and I, always and forever. ::(:

I mean I'm not exposed to any of the negatives of being around people. Like the drugs, drinking and other bad habits, but I'm not exposed to anything worth while either. I wish I had a life...
 

da_illest101

Well-known member
Having a life is relative and a opinion. You simply don't enjoy what you currently have. Unless you force yourself to make a change then you'll stay in that loop.
 

mummylala

Well-known member
social life will not make you happy

having a god job will not make you happy

having a girlfriend or a wife will not make you happy

having every thing in the world will not make you happy

happiness is exist in side you not out side you need to learn how to be happy and you also need to work on your self


Pure genius and i agree 100%.. I have a great life and family, great husband(well most of the time) not the best social life in the world but thats because of choice, we are doing ok financially.. some people say that i have what they want, thats what would make them feel happy..

Im not happy even though i have all of this, and i know that its because of ME not because of anyone else or anything else.. I think my problem is that i spend so much time making sure everyone else is happy and sorted before i take care of myself..
 
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userremoved

Guest
I mean I'm not exposed to any of the negatives of being around people. Like the drugs, drinking and other bad habits, but I'm not exposed to anything worth while either. I wish I had a life...

Thats kinda messed up bro. What would you say if those people were to say they didn't want to be exposed to your negative thinking and social anxiety. I've already noticed that a lot of people here have a purist and somewhat judgmental way of looking at society, but then complains about being judged by the faults we have. And yes we have a ton of faults. Sorry if I just took this waaay off topic x_x
 
Having a life is relative and a opinion. You simply don't enjoy what you currently have. Unless you force yourself to make a change then you'll stay in that loop.

I agree with this. You don't need a social life to have a life, but you need to kick yourself out of your comfort zone and force yourself to do something that you wouldn't normally do but think you'd like to. Go to a movie by yourself, go hiking by yourself (but make sure you let someone know where you're going, heh), or just get out and do SOMETHING. You don't necessarily have to have someone else with you to get out and enjoy yourself and have a life. Sitting around and watching TV and moping about not having a life isn't going to make anything any better--you have to take some kind of action. (I hope that last sentence didn't come out too harsh >.>)
 

planemo

Well-known member
Thats kinda messed up bro. What would you say if those people were to say they didn't want to be exposed to your negative thinking and social anxiety. I've already noticed that a lot of people here have a purist and somewhat judgmental way of looking at society, but then complains about being judged by the faults we have. And yes we have a ton of faults. Sorry if I just took this waaay off topic x_x

No I think you misunderstand. I'm not saying that all bad things are only achievable through other people. I know there are tons of good things. That's what I'm missing out on. I just mentioned the bad things, as a way of trying to make a silver lining when there probably isn't one.

But yeah I get the point everyone. I just feel that being so isolated, and insecure is almost something a human being shouldn't be. And as such he lives a life far below the usual standard and thus pays a heavy price for his social inhibitions.
 
No I think you misunderstand. I'm not saying that all bad things are only achievable through other people. I know there are tons of good things. That's what I'm missing out on. I just mentioned the bad things, as a way of trying to make a silver lining when there probably isn't one.

But yeah I get the point everyone. I just feel that being so isolated, and insecure is almost something a human being shouldn't be. And as such he lives a life far below the usual standard and thus pays a heavy price for his social inhibitions.

I understand what you mean- I too feel like maybe I avoid people because of the potential pitfalls and "bad" things that I could possibly get sucked into. Maybe deep down I know that I'm not very strong when it comes to standing up for myself, and I wouldn't stand against something I disagree with strongly enough and might get dragged into unnecessary trouble, or just drama that I really don't need right now. I know that there are rewards to be reaped from socialization and connecting with others, but at the moment they don't seem to be worth the crap that I'm sure I would need to trudge through first. I know I'm not perfect by any means, but rejection, betrayal, and the resultant embarrassment/shame just seem to be pills that are far too hard for me to swallow- and my avoidant personality is my protective shell.

I know that one can have a "life" without having to be social, but humans are social creatures, so it makes sense that most of us would need some measure of interaction to feel fulfilled.
 
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userremoved

Guest
No I think you misunderstand. I'm not saying that all bad things are only achievable through other people. I know there are tons of good things. That's what I'm missing out on. I just mentioned the bad things, as a way of trying to make a silver lining when there probably isn't one.

But yeah I get the point everyone. I just feel that being so isolated, and insecure is almost something a human being shouldn't be. And as such he lives a life far below the usual standard and thus pays a heavy price for his social inhibitions.

Sorry about that. But yeah I see what you mean. I don't think human being or many animals at all are actually meant to be isolated. Sometimes I'll even be desperate enough to walk around stores just so I can be in the presence of other human beings, its sad really. Were it not for family I would be insane by now.
 

dottie

Well-known member
humans are social creatures, so it makes sense that most of us would need some measure of interaction to feel fulfilled.

yeah, humans are technically social creatures but that doesn't mean everyone needs the same level of social interaction to be fulfilled. some people are happy with minimal contact.

i'm so over society trying to act like being a loner equates unhappiness. why should i feel like i am missing out on something when i am fine? i do not exist to measure myself against what works for other people. i am going to enjoy myself while i'm here. i like being alone, it brings me much fulfillment. much more than, say, going to a bar.
 

planemo

Well-known member
Sorry about that. But yeah I see what you mean. I don't think human being or many animals at all are actually meant to be isolated. Sometimes I'll even be desperate enough to walk around stores just so I can be in the presence of other human beings, its sad really. Were it not for family I would be insane by now.

Don't worry, it's no problem. Even though I don't really get on with my family, them just existing in the same space as me makes a massive difference.
 
yeah, humans are technically social creatures but that doesn't mean everyone needs the same level of social interaction to be fulfilled. some people are happy with minimal contact.

i'm so over society trying to act like being a loner equates unhappiness. why should i feel like i am missing out on something when i am fine? i do not exist to measure myself against what works for other people. i am going to enjoy myself while i'm here. i like being alone, it brings me much fulfillment. much more than, say, going to a bar.

That's why I said "most" and "some measure." I think that the amount of interaction needed does vary by the individual- though I think in my case, I definitely need more interaction than my anxiety is allowing me to withstand. I'm not saying that I can't be happy in things outside of my social life, but my lack of one definitely bothers me. But I also agree that it's wrong for people to assume in your case that you need one to be happy.
 

Polly_Princess

Active member
No social life doesn't necessarily HAVE to equate to no life at all. Only if you let it.

My social life is not entirely non-existant (yet!), but it isn't over-flowing either! But that doesn't mean I'm devoid of a life. Have hobbies, devote yourself to an interesting job, develop a love of literature/art/academia/sport/craft, join a club that doesn't involve much social contact (perhaps chess?) or if you REALLY can't handle face-to-face interaction, go online and do it.

You can live a very rich and fufilling life without having people in your life to share it with.
 

sevenroses

Well-known member
I can relate. During my days off it`s pretty uneventful. I like to sleep in the wake up in the afternoon then just watch movies or do something online. I do a little bit of jogging but that`s about it.
 

planemo

Well-known member
why should i feel like i am missing out on something when i am fine? i do not exist to measure myself against what works for other people.

Yeah I guess I should try and follow a similar approach to life. But thanx all for the input.
 

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
as long as you are enjoying yourself you have a life.

Well said, although it doesn't sound like the OP is enjoying themselves. ::(:

I really dislike the term "having no life". When someone says that someone else has no life, they usually mean the other person isn't doing the things that they think they should be doing. If you are happy and fulfilled in what you are doing, then you certainly "have a life", whether your chosen activities are solitary or social ones.
 

Ignace

Well-known member
I don't got a social life. It's two month vacation for me now and it's almost half without going outside(for talking people) I had to go outside for some jobs in the garden with my dad. Luckily(?) I'm a nerd and most of the time I enjoy myself with chatting, gaming and browsing. With most of the time I mean every day at least 12 hours.
 

Predacon

Well-known member
I'd agree with what many people have said, it is relative not having a social life is not the same as not having a life. If it is getting you down then you have to find a way to get out of your comfort zone somehow.
 
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