Newbie From Bournemouth

ShySam2013

ShySam2013

New member
Hi everyone,

I have just joined today & wanted to say hi - I spotted that there are a few more people from Bournemouth so wanted to introduce myself & share a bit about my issues/story.

I came across this site whilst searching about being quiet at work. I've been having a quick look through people's posts on here & it's been like a weight has been lifted as I thought I was entirely alone with the issues I have!!

My main problem is at work - I barely speak to people but I do try to go out make a round of teas for the very small team I work with to try & get myself "out there" amongst other colleagues but mainly I will disengage with my surroundings & focus on the computer screen especially on a bad day, I'm pretty sure that my colleagues either think I'm rude/a bitch/arrogant &/or a weirdo. For example, I went to the work Christmas party recently & took my partner with me for support & even then I wanted to run away - I felt physically sick the entire time & we left quietly whilst everyone else was partying - it was awful & made me feel utterly wretched about myself - it took the best part of a week just to get over that one evening.

There are times when I just wish someone would come along & do all the responsible, adult stuff for me although I try very, very hard to cope with that myself - I just get utterly drained & emotionally exhausted from it at times.

I'm really looking forward to reading more posts & engaging with people on here as it feels like it is somewhere I can be myself without worrying - wish the real world was like that!!

Thank you everyone
Sam
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
ShySam2013 said:
My main problem is at work - I barely speak to people but I do try to go out make a round of teas for the very small team I work with to try & get myself "out there" amongst other colleagues but mainly I will disengage with my surroundings & focus on the computer screen especially on a bad day, I'm pretty sure that my colleagues either think I'm rude/a bitch/arrogant &/or a weirdo.
Click to expand...
Welcome, Sam! I'm kind of the same way around people I'm not comfortable with at work and have had people think I'm unfriendly, stuck-up, etc. Once I get more comfortable around them, they see that I'm actually a friendly, chatty person who has a pretty good sense of humor (well, most of the time!). I've just had to accept that not everyone will like me and I'm trying to re-train my brain into thinking that those people who intimidate me are really no better (or worse) than I am. Easier said than done, but it's for my own good!
 
ShySam2013

ShySam2013

New member
Hi everyone,

Thank you for all your supportive & welcoming messages - it really means alot. I do have the odd occasion when I do have a fairly normal conversation with people at work but it's rare - when it does happen it does make me feel good & "normal" (whatever THAT is hahaha!!) but like Winja said, I find it very difficult to recover when I am having an period of being introverted & shut off. I'm feeling nervous about work tomorrow but I'm trying very hard to distract myself from those negative thoughts.
I've been to counselling (for other issues) & she told me that it's ok to be quiet so I guess I should be comfortable with that part of myself instead of fighting it so much but I find it incredibly difficult which then probably makes the issues worse - vicious circle!!!

And Bournemouth is absolutely full to the brim with bars, nightclubs & pubs so it's definitely not retirement central anymore! Lol!
 
B

Bookworm

New member
Hi from a fellow Bournemouth (female) newbie. What you've said, certainly resonates and I've had similar experiences. Feel free to send me a private message if you like.
 
G

gg1978

Member
Hi Sam, I am also from Bournemouth and I can totally relate to what you are saying. I find social gatherings hard and also like you have to have a recovery time when I come home which usually involves me going to bed. I am also quiet around people and I get really nervous and sometimes cancel meetings with friends because I can't face the situation. Message me back and maybe we can arrange a meet up with others from Bournemouth aswell. Gemma
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
1BlackSheep said:
Welcome, Sam! I'm kind of the same way around people I'm not comfortable with at work and have had people think I'm unfriendly, stuck-up, etc. Once I get more comfortable around them, they see that I'm actually a friendly, chatty person who has a pretty good sense of humor (well, most of the time!). I've just had to accept that not everyone will like me and I'm trying to re-train my brain into thinking that those people who intimidate me are really no better (or worse) than I am. Easier said than done, but it's for my own good!
Click to expand...

Yep nailed it
 
LeDiskoLove99

LeDiskoLove99

Well-known member
Hey Sam! Welcome. You are definitely not alone, especially with issues at work, there are a lot of people here including myself who knows how that feels. And I'm sure you'll find a lot of people to relate to on here, there's a lot of friendly understanding people.

Nice to have you. :bigsmile::applause:
 
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