new member hello

[arghhh]

Hello everyone,

I have recently self diagnosed myself as having this condition. I feel it has progressed alot more over the past 2 years after moving to a new area..( alougth I have moved house before) there was a few ups and downs after I had settled into life here.

As I trawlled the internet looking for answers I came across social phobia something I had never heard of and I cried when I saw some of the symptons. I just cant believe that they ticked all my boxes.

a big factor was that theres so man people out there who understand and suffer to.

Maybe I should tell you abit about what I have been feeling.

I have big issues with visiting my other halfs family. It makes me feel physically sick .. dizzy .. They are really nice people but I cannot bear it. Its causing alot of problems in my relationship and at the moment we are separated as he just didnt understand what I was feeling.

I cant bear to go into supermarkets.. standing at the checkout sometimes I would start sweating/blushing and the more I panicked the worse it got. I start worrying and thinking all these what ifs.. I dont know why? Or what they even are afterwards.. its like a blind panick

If I am walking down a road and theres someone coming towards me I start panicking about where to look..or if they are male I start blushing and feeling daft..

I have stopped going to resturants.. and when I used to I had to sit in a dark corner. I would never go into a bright and airy resturant.

I have a big fear of blushing to, Everyone thinks i'm super confident its all a big mask..inside I'm a wreck.. I feel I drink to much ( have managed to stop for 7 days so far ) I felt it give me confidence to talk/speak/laugh and joke.

I cannot dream of walking down the highstreet in my local town. Couple of weeks ago I drove in to buy a birthday card for my other half.. Thats when I realised how bad this certain issue had got. I drove round for 2 whole hours deciding where the best place to park in relation to the card shop was for a quick dash... in the end I couldnt face getting out of the car.. I pulled over in tears.. what was happening to me?

Oddly there are some shops I feel safe in. If I'm feeling brave I make a 70 mile round trip to a supermarket in another town.. I know nobody knows me there and nothing should happen..nobody will talk to me or stop me.
I will use a shop 4 villages away from myself?

I feel safe in my car I use it to just go to the postbox in?

I cant go to work or interviews, I left my last position as I thought everyone was talking about me.. I felt inferior to everyone even when I had been promoted to Head of department... I couldnt cope. I havent worked since December now.

I spent xmas on my own I couldnt bear to go to anyones house for drinks/games/meals When I have tried I have been there feeling sick wanting to just run out the door and I feel I cant face it.

The thought of xmas fills me with dread. I know people will expect me visiting and I just cant. I can feel my heart wrenching/pounding just as I type this at the thought of xmas

My partner said I had started to analise everything he did or what people where doing or what they were saying

I just want to be myself.. socialise, laugh, pop round for a coffee somewhere.. sit in a coffee shop window watching the world go by relaxing.. go shopping, pop to my shop..

I really need some help, I'm so glad I found this forum..reading all the posts dosent make me feel i'm alone or a weirdo.

Love

Ann

 

[cptkoi]

Hi Ann

Don't talk to me about analysing

I am no expert but have you tried working out why it all started?

I worked backwards through my life till I found the trigger(s) then worked forwards again to see how those experiences had made my life the way it was and the way I didn't want it.

I had some pretty strong motivation to change and that helped me to start down this new path and keeps me on it, most of the time.

h

 

[smyth]

hiya ann, Your story is exactly like mine, i too diagnosed myself just yesterday, i cudnt believe when i came across the website that had all the symptoms of SA, i was so shocked that what i had was recognised and that i wasnt actually the only one suffering.
I can relate to every one of your problems. The blushing is really bad ive even been to the doctors with it and the woman i saw was very demorilising, she made me feel as though it wasnt even a problem. I hate supermarkets, i have to make sure i have more or less the exact change before i pay so i dont have to stand counting my money whcih would make me go BRIGHT RED! I get so nervous walking down my street where i live that i will actually walk twice as far just to get home a different way. I find alcahol is the only way to relieve my anxiety, if i didnt have alcahol id probly never go out at the weekends, its sad that i rely on alcahol to have a good time. Anyway its just nice to speak to people who share my problems, ive never wrote or told any1 this stuff before, its kinda weird gettin it all out.lol.

Craig xx

 

[peachface]

Hi craig i have just joined the forum and like you im amazed how all the symptoms are like mine its a bit freaky

 

[peachface]

If I am walking down a road and theres someone coming towards me I start panicking about where to look..or if they are male I start blushing and feeling daft..

Ann this is also a big problem for me i dont like to go out mainly because of this Im scared il make a fool of myself especially if i recognise the person and have to make a quick superficial conversation bright red sweating with my heart palpatating and negative things going through my head and i worry that i might look like i fancy them this makes things worse

 

[smyth]

lol peach i hate that too, i must look like a right idiot when some1 is walkin towards me in the street cos i get so nervous and then im tryin to act normal which just prob makes me look even more nervous lol. its very annoying!

 

[peachface]

i really wish i could overcome this bit ive tried imagining people on the toilet or in their underwear etc it doesnt work lol, i really dread bumping into people cause i know theyd probably be shocked and discover im a nervous wreck as im different when im at home or had a drink i come across as having no social probs maybe a bit shy but thats it, i can make friends quite easily but maintaining the friendship is not pssible as i start to feel uncomfortable especially when it involves going out shopping etc ( i hate bright places Mackies is the worst) i dont mind going out to a bar/club as its not too intense and its dark so no one will notice when i show signs of anxiety blushing etc (this can range from a slight shade of pink to deep purple lol i havent gone beyond beetroot yet as i might human combust) if i go to a restaurant i chose a dark corner and try and sit in a way that the least amount of people can see me eating i hate eating in front of others apart from my bf and family, my sister has mayonaise hanging from her mouth in front of people she doesnt care and laughs it off i would love to do this Does anyone else have these probs?