new here

simona

Active member
So i've been bullied my entire highschool time by 2 girls. Now even after graduation from college I'm still struggling with a horrendous anxiety and OCD. One of these girls sent me a friend request on facebook 2 months ago. A couple of days ago, one night, after reading some frightening stuff about the long-term consequences of being bullied, I've impulsively and maybe reckelessly sent her a message in which I told her that I wish smth terrible happen to her. Now that I'm soberer, I'm having again some strong anxiety simptoms and I wonder if what I've done was reckless or not. What do you guys think?
 

NamiraWilhelm

Well-known member
Welcome newbie!

The best thing to do would be to forgive them, but depends entirely if you're ready/willing to do so. Thinking about their feelings, why they might have acted the way they did and showing them the compassion they never did you etc. could all help you move on. But I know that's a difficult thing, they likely have no idea just how unpleasant and hard they made your life. I still think very poorly of my bullies.
It would be the best thing for you to relinquish the emotions you're harbouring against them but if you can't quite yet, you really ought to block them and pay them no more mind. You deserve your focus right now, not them. Yes it probably was reckless to message her but you're only human and your emotions are valid, so don't punish yourself for your actions. Blocking them will also avoid receiving a potentially unpleasant response.

Instead of spending any more time ruminating on them, I would get on with some self help and get cracking working through your issues :) And the next time you do find yourself dwelling on them, have a list prepared of more positive thoughts to switch your mind to as soon as you catch yourself engaging in negative thought patterns.
 
Honestly, yeah, sounds like you've done something that most people would shake their heads at. Although, come on, we've all done stupid shit and we'll all continue to do stupid shit. Obviously your actions were fueled by passion, as the person has made such a strong impact on your life, which makes it exponentially more understandable. Also at the same time, you're asking about it here, which tells me you're showing signs of regret. All I can say is, eh, you ****ed up. You'll get over it.
 

simona

Active member
Thank you, NamiraWilhelm, for your answer and piece of advice. the thing is, after (and during) the highschool years, every single day I've been experienced a certain level of anxiety(from moderate to severe), that strongly interfered with my studying and social life. Because of being bullied I've developped also some eating disorders and OCD. Therefore, my life has never been the same. However, I feel I'm not capable of long-term hatred. I sometimes catch myself contemplating on her asking me to forgive her and me doing so.But then I come back to real and realize this kind of contemplating is a waste of time, as it will never happen. I just want to cure myself once for all and regain my life.
 

NamiraWilhelm

Well-known member
I understand Simona. I even felt I couldn't continue my studying because of my anxiety, so I didn't go to university. I wish I had, but hopefully I'll be in a position to when I'm older and be a mature student. The after effects are indeed hard to endure.
If you can forgive them, definitely do so, again for your benefit, not theirs :)
 

simona

Active member
thank you, Razzlecherry, for your answer. yes, i kinda regret it,I realize it was reckless and immature, but on the other hand, i felt that it was my first and only chance to tell her what I actually feel and think about what she did to me
 

AtTheGates

Banned
it might have been slightly reckless but you shouldnt feel bad about it if you felt your words were justified. it was just a message after all....but i'd recommend not doing stuff like that in the future because it just brings you down to THEIR level and it might make you come off as a bit immature.
 
Last edited:

andsorry

Well-known member
When I was in elementary there was a girl that bullied me everyday. Things even got to the point she was following me home with a group of friends. They even threw rocks at me. Anyway on our first day of middle school she had no friends and asked me to be her friend. I told her no and went off with my new friends. Don't feel bad. Just block her. Maybe being around her is triggering your anxiety.
 

simona

Active member
When I was in elementary there was a girl that bullied me everyday. Things even got to the point she was following me home with a group of friends. They even threw rocks at me. Anyway on our first day of middle school she had no friends and asked me to be her friend. I told her no and went off with my new friends. Don't feel bad. Just block her. Maybe being around her is triggering your anxiety.

Thank you. In my case she hasn't even asked me to forgive her, just sent me a friend request on facebook so that she could see my photos and profile etc
 
Top