New and confused.

[Damien]

Hi, Ive been lurking here for about an hour now so i figured i should post.

I have been diagnosed with social phobia but i dont know how to shake it.

I saw someone about it but they didnt help and the drugs make me a slurring zombie.

Im 22 but all my life i have been uptight. If i need to go anywhere new, walk into a room for an interview i spend an hour before hand dry reaching, wanting to be sick. Then a panic attack occurs (you know that feeling like you're on fire and your hands sweat like crazy and you say "yep im dying"). After such an episode i go into this abnormal state of calm. I then walk into my interview etc.

When i get to the destination, be it a pub, a birthday party, a job interview.... umm every day of working life (ya know the same ol same old 9 till 5), i quickly search for the bathroom just in case, or the nearest exit but then after ive found them i come across as confident. Im the life of the party if you will. As much as my brain is screaming at me to back away, that i will feel fine if i dont go...... i still do it.

I started a band. Played in front of 100's of people, hated public speaking at school but still did the best speeches. Social Phobia doesnt stop it. It frustrates me. I just want to be normal.

I saw a therapist who said "now we need to give you exposure therapy... you shouldnt avoid situations that make you uptight, freak out etc." I looked at him and said "umm i do everyday of my life. Nothing stops me from doing what i do, i want to stop feeling terrible, scared and sick every single day"

His reply: "oh right well, hmm that is odd. Most people would rather stay home"

The truth is... id love to stay home. Im home right now and im still uptight! I always feel guilty for being me. I recently quit my job because the boss wanted me to drive a manual van which is something i have never done before. Scared me to death. When i stressed my reasons, they became nasty and basically sacked me anyway.

Only one boss ever in my working career has understood. Why? Because he had it too. Unfortunately i was only contracted to him and the contract ran out.

Does anyone else experience my frustration? I have to ring my recently ex employer to ask for my annual leave entitlements and ive been pacing around for about 3 hours now.

Im glad i found such a site. I hope i can offer advice in someway shape or form. Mind you if you need your stereo repaired (im an electronics tech) ya best email me. hehe

Regards

Damien

 

[GettingThere]

I think that you need to start st the source - your mind. I know that that sounds too obvious but I mean that you need to examine the way that you think, your reactions to stimuli.

My suggestion would be to take the time to read a good book on the subject. There have been postings about books made on this forum so you could track down the titles of some of them and either borrow from a library or purchase one, new or otherwise.

 

[Damien]

Yes my mind drives me insanse sometimes... hmmm I even dream about it.

Damien

 

[maggie]

I have much difficulty making a phone call also, Damien. I'm not sure why, cause at least no one can see me, but still, get crazy about it anyway :roll: Even to call my family, friends, have to psyche myself up, and always have excuse ready to get off the phone quickly, otherwise I get out of breath, feel uncomfortable, I don't get it. 8O

 

[Damien]

I think i need to become like your avatar maggie, that looks like one mean kitty hehe.

I find i have trouble letting things go in a sense that even if an issue has been dealt with, the outcome is good, i still rehash the conversation over and over in my mind. Im still arguing with my dad over something years ago. I sometimes repeat everything that i said in my head. I noticed someone else wrote a similar sort of thing in another post.

Yeah i psyched myself up for that phonecall. Was finished in about 3 minutes. It was all okay. Yet it took me about 30 minutes to calm down. sheesh.

Damien

 

[maggie]

Damien, I go over so much stuff in my head all the time, 8O I overthink everything; Maybe I'm thinking to make up for lack of talking? Not sure. And if I'm not thinking about how I screwed up today, I'm worrying about tomorrow. Today, I had to repeat myself so many times, and when I repeated, my voice was no louder than the first time, it pisses me off. :evil:

 

[Damien]

I HATE having to repeat myself. makes me grumpy hehe

Damien

 

[Ghanima]

i think i have a similar problem to you damien, when i mention to my family anything to do with my social phobia that think im being ridiculous. and to outward appearances it is ridiculous, i appear successful, i always had a lot of friends in high school, i managed good grades, and have a long term relationship that is happy, im in my 3rd yr of a law degree.... but underneath the surface i hate leaving the house hate seeing people at uni at the supermarket, i feel like they are judging me, and im just not good enough. i look like im coping but inwardly feel like im going to totally lose control at any second when im in a class room etc, and the worst thing is when people say youre full of it just because they cant see your symptoms, because i keep my hands under the table when theyre shaking etc, but once i get up to speak i get such an adrenaline rush that it looks like nothing ever happened

 

[skins]

yep i'm the same damien and maggie, phone calls.....aaggggggghh!!!!!!. as a sp sufferer making phone calls would have to be one of the worst aspects for me, i avoid them at all costs, and havnt made 1 in a couple of months now. if i know i goto make a call later in the day i can't relax untill its ova, and i just pace around all anxious untll i can make the call. sometimes i think the longer i put it off the more nevous i get and i just can't understand it as the other person can't see you and if they don't know you persoanlly its totally anonymous! its bezar....i can talk to family and close friends only, any1 else even complete strangers, i have to have a drink b4 hand to calm my nerves and so that i can think clearly enough during the conversation otherwise i forget what is even said sometimes and can't speak properly....usually if some1 has called me up i'm fine (altough the sound of the phone rinign still anoys me) its only if i have to make a call, i find it harder then having a one on one talk with someone or talking in a small group. sometimes i think i should get treatment for my sp just so i can make phone calls without the anxiety :? .

 

[skins]

.........lol and and rather then just ringing up a store to find out if they having something in stock i have to drive all the way there and ask them in person as thats way easier for me talking to some1 face to face, i can talk to salesmen no worries at all but making a phone call pwaah! and if do make a call i'm the same, i rehash the conversation over and over in my head aswell even if it went well grrrrrr

 

[Loopy_Lil]

I understand the phone call thing
they terrify me too
strangers are the worst but even friends and family are hard
i have to pysche myself up to make them and usually try to get out of them if i can
it takes me ages to make a phone call

hope all is OK
Lil

 

[IcanDoIt]

I think that you need to start st the source - your mind. I know that that sounds too obvious but I mean that you need to examine the way that you think, your reactions to stimuli.

My suggestion would be to take the time to read a good book on the subject. There have been postings about books made on this forum so you could track down the titles of some of them and either borrow from a library or purchase one, new or otherwise.

yes, you must be very miserable right now, im feeling for you dude..

i just cant emphasize the importance of what GettingThere has mentioned in this post.. :wink:

 

[Fighter86]

Hey Damien...so want did ur therapist said when u said despite being afraid, u go through ur daily routine, meaning that exposure therapy might not help since you juz go about life doing what u have to do?

Although I haven actually been in your shoes(I have problems with the exposure therapy part), I did once read about this very successful person who suffered from SA for twenty years. He was actually some1 quite recognised in his field- he gave lectures in front of hundreds, attended huge parties regulaly etc.. Despite having SA, he just went out to do stuff like you and Ghanima...