i hope people answer to this anyway.....
whenever i go out anywhere i NEED to get drunk.... even being around my boyfriend i need to drink and i trust him more than anyone else. i dont bother with partys anymore for the reason of my boyfriend looking at other girls (really f**ked me up) and i cant talk to anyone anyway.
i started drinking in high school where i suffered from depression(still have it) i droped out when i was 15 and now im 17 my life is going no where, i really have no clue wtf to do. most the time all i can think about is ending it.
im VERY para and i have no friends what so ever,my past is also kinda shady to the point of most things i cant even tell my therapist.
i would love to cut out driking completly and i will admit i have a big problem with drink......but its the last thign i have left, i guess my only reason for living as sad as that sounds.
I was just abouy to post something like that also.
I'm 24, and I feel the exact same way, I am constantly drinking at night, even when I am by myself sometimes, just to feel relaxed and like the "old, cool, laid back" me.
I can't go out to a club, or out with freinds at all without getting sloppy drunk to relax enough to have a good time... and I'm sick of doing things that way. I hate the way I feel the next morning, and even worse, I hate the way I acted the night before.
I'm trying to get my life together, and I hope that we both won't be having this problem for much longer.
I'm sorry I don't have any advice... I just wanted to let you know that myself and a few other people I know are in the same predicament, and that you are not alone.
whenever my parents go out, you can see me reaching for thr bottle..or several...but to be honest, i have no idea why i do..i hate the feeling of biedng drunk..i depend on being in control, and i hate that loss of control..i sopend the whole night feeling sick, then sleeping with a headache then feeling shit the next morning..i dont think i could ever get addicted of dependant on it, because, as i said earlier, i need my control.
I Know ,
I get drunk , or happy (Tipsy) so I don't need to feel,.... well left out. When I am Tipsy I feel more like the real me, If not I am far more serious, quiet, & scared to death of saying anything.
Which is not like me at all with friends, God I can even joke & be funny with, but in social suituations, It's like my brian freezes over , everything has to be over analaysed to death! Every sentance has to be scanned. So much so that what you where going to answer has passed you by & what you where going to say has gone now in the conversation.
I would love to find a way where almost you just "said", instead of thinking who you where going to upset or annoy or make a bad first impresssion
The thing is drink never, never makes you feeel any better. "Well the reason tonight you got on so well is " because you were tipsy", & you know it , so It kinka defeats the purpose, cause your "nice" part remind's you that you were not yourself" , so if you got on well it was just 'cus of your alcahol level. It never lets you have credit for yourself
It feels better to know there are other people who feel the same way about having the need of a drink to feel better in social situations. I thought I was almost the only one with that problem. One thing that bothers me is everyone tells me how much fun I am and wish I was always like this when I drink. Does anyone get those type of comments? I feel so down when I sober up.
That's part of the reason why I drink when I go out , 'cus other people seem to "take" to me far better eg they don't think I'm boring, serious, Stand-offish etc when they meet me out. (logicaly , when I think abt it they where prob. quite drunk or f**ked up, so they have a vauge remembrance of meeting me , so they are just thinking , Jaysus , What the hell did I say to her ????
But.... the next day , even aft 2 drinks I'm back to beating myself up cus I can't be the same. You know the night before I was chatting more than usual. The next day, or week or month when i meet them in the street, I imeditally feel stupid & awkard .
& it really does not help when people inform you that you seemed in "Good Form " the night before, implying that you are not usuallly.
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