My whole life

sobrevive

Member
Hi guys!
I joined in this forum a while ago and I have been reading posts but never written too much. Today I have decided to write something manly because it helps to find out what my problem is, read it after to a psychologist, etc.. But I have decided to post it here too in case someone have the time to read it, I think after all what I have read here I think i owe that. Feel free to comment or just read it. thanks.
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
Hi and welcome to the forum! I can relate. When I'm in a room full of people, I want to hide or disappear too.
 

sobrevive

Member
It is just weakness/fear for the danger you feeling, some say it is not a real danger as when a lion is after you, but I'd say may be it is not a direct danger as a lion but is real. ex:
If you don't know a group of people and you think for your past experiences when you get known to them people don't respect you, laugh at you or whatever.. you will be afraid of that danger REAL DANGER because in social life you position matters so much(if you are liked and respected you will be more successful and happy and that is life itself) and your unconscious knows it, so the fear start. we all need to be liked but weak people will need to be more liked than strong people so the matter of being liked for a SP suferers increase i.e fear increase because you think you are not gonna be liked.
if the fear starts you will try not to talk or act, nobody notice anything, if you have to talk you will try show confident and finish as soon as possible, and in the worst case scenario if you suddenly get awkward while talking or acting the the fear reaction can be impossible to control and it could be a nightmare for a SP suferer, every one will discover how week and needed you are, in social life competition that's not good and for a SP is even worst.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
^This pretty much describes me. I am very quiet because I don't want people to notice my flaws. I had a friend who is very outspoken but awkward at the same time; she once gave an embarassing speech in front of many people and they all laughed at her. After seeing this, I remember thinking to myself that I don't want to be like her.
 

sobrevive

Member
^This pretty much describes me. I am very quiet because I don't want people to notice my flaws. I had a friend who is very outspoken but awkward at the same time; she once gave an embarassing speech in front of many people and they all laughed at her. After seeing this, I remember thinking to myself that I don't want to be like her.

Didn't she feel bad after that? or she just didn't care?
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I'm really sorry, you seem to have a very tough life but I honestly think you should seek some professional help. I know you've tried it before and it didn't work that well but maybe you need to stick with it for a longer period of time, or maybe you're yet to find a professional who'll understand your problem better. If you think underdeveloped socials skills are at the heart of your problem, I guess the only way to get better is to practice them. Avoiding social situations is only going to make them worse, maybe you can expose yourself to your fears by engaging in social situations e.g going out with friends, chatting with coworkers.(even though in your mind you constantly think they're judging you). Do this on a regular basis and gradually try to increase your social interactions. It definitely won't be easy though but it can and will get better. Please don't give up.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
Didn't she feel bad after that? or she just didn't care?

I don't think she felt bad at all. In fact, she even laughed when I talked to her about it. She didn't care. I didn't understand how she could be so positive and cheerful even after seeing 20+ people looking and laughing at her. She delivered the speech because she was running for club president and had to compete with another guy.
 
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