My Personal Story: How I lived and still living..

blueflavors

Member
Hi I'm 19, a college student, i basically can't trust anyone, i had 3 besties for over 10 years and then suddenly when i'm not useful like i was and just because i was distant for my national exams, they insulted me, they even created strange rumors about me, they left.
There are two guys who stand up with me, my gay bestfriend and another one who days by days became my boyfriend.
The problem is that i can't get over what happened to me, i was naturally not sociable at all but my ex-besties got to me and i was getting better, but now it's awful.
I'm failling for the first time in my life, my first college year due to depression and long distance because my university is way too far from home.
I'm going to retake the exams next week but i don't even have the courage too.
I'm feeling like i'm falling apart, i'm so lonely, i literally cried every night because i feel like a crap.
My social phobia is back, it's haunting me..
I shutted down my facebook 2 months ago and i don't utter a word even, i have some friends whom i knew them through kpop and i became so distant that they might think i don't want to talk to them that's why they never asked about me, but i'm actually suffering and i can't tell anyone to pity me because i will feel pathetic and that's a NO, and i'm kind of hurt because i remembered some friends birthdays, i sent them short msgs from my phone but no one answered me, so i'm often kept out, it makes me feel more lonely.
I can't trust no one expect my mum, because she's the only one who's by my side, my dad never asks since my parents are divorced.
I fear everybody around me, i can't stand going to the university alone with everybody staring or something, i feel like i want to disappear from this life.

I don't know what to do with my life anymore, so if your life is better than mine, you're blessed my dear.
Thank you for hearin me up, i'm so glad that i found out this forum :greeting:
 
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RachB

Active member
I don't have much to say but good luck for when you retake your exams next week! I'm sure you will do good. It's a shame that your friends were so rude and bailed on you. Especially after so many years but at least u have your 2 guy friends who seem to have your back. At least your mum is there for you. That's one good thing
 

blueflavors

Member
I don't have much to say but good luck for when you retake your exams next week! I'm sure you will do good. It's a shame that your friends were so rude and bailed on you. Especially after so many years but at least u have your 2 guy friends who seem to have your back. At least your mum is there for you. That's one good thing

Thank you, hopefully i will do good even though i lost hope in that college so either ways im going to move out and change my course i guess because i can't support another year there, i know my 2 guy friends are there but what happened to me makes me wonder what if they do the same? i just can't trust anymore it's depressing..
 

F0AM

Well-known member
Nice to meet you Blueflavors, this is a very good place for venting. Also, you'll find nice people here and a lot of them will relate to you ^_^

Once again, welcome and good luck with your exam!!

tumblr_inline_nagt1e5GtI1qbvt58.gif
 

blueflavors

Member
Nice to meet you Blueflavors, this is a very good place for venting. Also, you'll find nice people here and a lot of them will relate to you ^_^

Once again, welcome and good luck with your exam!!

tumblr_inline_nagt1e5GtI1qbvt58.gif

yup i'm starting to find people who can deeply understand me, thankyouu so muuch :blushing:
 
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