My first setback and I wasnt 100% in the first place

marT

marT

Member
well I just had my first "set back" which is really pissing me off because I wasn't fully better in the first place.

I was meditating and all was going well and then suddenly it was like "wham!" i felt like i was sort of detached from my body and the blood drained from my face, i though to myself "its ok, its just an attack, focus on the breathing and it will go away". I tried to do this but found my heart beat getting faster and my eye lids flickering and i had to open my eyes, this seemed to help but i was still feeling pretty dazed. I noticed after that, that I could induce the same kind of feelings just by remembering them which is pretty scary.

In the morning i was trembling pretty bad and felt so nausious and I'm so pissed off because it seems like I've gone back to square one again and I have to start all over again. Whats more annoying is im sort of scared to meditate now because of having another attack and its meant to be my bloody treatment!!

I have to start TAFE again next week and I was so hoping i would be better by then, now it looks like i'm almost worse, oh god i bloody hate this condition!!
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
TAFE is kind of like college in the united states, but for people who dont want to/didnt get good enough grades to go to university.

I've been meditating for about 3 weeks or so, every morning and night although after this experience i havent been very relaxed in doing it and have lessened my session times.

Its mindfulness meditation in which you focus on your breath or a word and when your thoughts wonder, come back to the breath or word. Its supposed to teach you how your thoughts create the anxiety (which i am aware of) and how to control them in waking life.
 
G

Guest

Guest
Hi Mart,
yes l aslo have had a few set backs, lm trying so hard to roll with them, l have days where l think of killing my self,but its not really me (which l find scary as its the last thing l wont to happen).. the other day l was driving and nearly had to pull over , it was like my brian had a sort circut, and l didnt no what l was going to do, l m 'dont trust my self...
But lm still on my medician everyday,actully l told the doctor lm so exhusted all day, what can l do? "He said to have my med's at night time"...this l found l brought on my attacks, so l returned to mornings.
l also found out for the 1st couple of weeks your on antie depressents, they set of a chemcial to make you feel suicide.. l wish they told me that when they stuck me on anti-dpr ten yrs ago..just before l decided to jump off the cliff where people go hang gliding(yes l some how made it)..
The doctors also told me that it takes up to 6 months before any sign of full recovery.. l t's been 3 months now for me, 1 step forward 2 back. lol
You probley wouldnt beleave this illness if your never had it!
heads up Mart, will get there!
 
marT

marT

Member
yeah it sucks so bad, i wake up every morning in a high state of anxiety, wondering how bad im going to be today and the rest of the day is spent dwelling on how im feeling.

I also go through a lot of mood swings, a lot of the time i feel very very depressed not knowing if I will ever feel the same again.

I've also got to start TAFE as i said on monday which doesnt help, its just another thing to worry about.

I also find it hard to eat a lot of the time, i sort of have to force myself, its bad because its making me loose a fair bit of weight and I'm already pretty skinny.

Anyone else had these experiences, i'd like to hear them.
 
marT

marT

Member
I'm also taking St John Wort and have been for around 3 or 4 weeks now, is it possible that this is causing my tiredness and somewhat fuzzyness in the head?
 
G

Guest

Guest
marT said:
yeah it sucks so bad, i wake up every morning in a high state of anxiety, wondering how bad im going to be today and the rest of the day is spent dwelling on how im feeling.

I also go through a lot of mood swings, a lot of the time i feel very very depressed not knowing if I will ever feel the same again.

I've also got to start TAFE as i said on monday which doesnt help, its just another thing to worry about.

I also find it hard to eat a lot of the time, i sort of have to force myself, its bad because its making me loose a fair bit of weight and I'm already pretty skinny.

Anyone else had these experiences, i'd like to hear them.
Click to expand...

Yes Mart,
l have big mood swings, my husband keeps asking whats wrong as l have this look of hopelessness on my face, wondering if l'll ever get better.
hopefully tafe will be a good thing for you, l have been looking for work,l went to a few interviews and couldnt remember what l was even doing there!...But l really have to get a job...
my fear is mainly at night beofre l go to sleep, wondering if l'll wake up..
and as lm going to sleep l twhich badly, l feel my heart playing these funny games , l think l make it even stop . l have consent pains in my chest(which keeps me thinking lm having a heart attack), theres this new add on about heart attacks l cant even watch it without freaking out..
But every thing your going thought is pretty norm... lm sure tafe will be a good thing for you, you wont have time to worry!
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
I started TAFE on Monday and its all gone pretty well.

I do get high anxiety before going and for some time while I am there, i even had a couple of panic attacks but I managed to get over them in a minute or two. Once I get over it I actually find I feel better at tafe than I do at home, because I dont tend to dwell on how I'm feeling.

Hopefully in a few weeks I'll start to make some more progress.
 
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