I feel like I've been on a mental roller-coaster lately. I will talk things up one day, telling myself that things will change, that I am fine the way I am, and that I can fight through my self-esteem issues and such. Then the next day, I'll sink back into my pit, wallowed up in my feelings of worthlessness again. I don't want to keep feeling like this. I don't know how to hold onto the positive attitude. I suppose I'm better than I was last year, when I never had optimism. Yet, at the same time, because I keep sinking into the darkness, I still just want to give up so I never have to feel anything anymore. I'm never going to be fully at peace with myself. I know, I know, not really anyone is ever FULLY at peace, but I mean that I am just always going to be SO distraught with who I am that I am never going to be able to live life the way that it should be lived. I am constantly torn up by my inadequacies and I am never going to be good enough. I am always going to be invisible because nothing I ever do is worth noticing. Why should I stick around if I can't accomplish anything? I just suck over all.