Meeting internet friends in real life...

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
#2
I can completely relate to this.

I have met people in the past from online. I can barely talk, because I just "KNOW" that everyone around me knows that we are on a first "date", meeting for the first time. I feel like they are all listening in and judging how well it's going, or not going. Judging if I say something stupid, or judging if he likes me or not, or if he is some how making fun of me.

Lots of anxious thoughts. It's difficult to talk to someone you first meet, in a public place.

Maybe you can try a park? Not sure how cold it is where you are. There are enough people so it is public, but then not enough to be surrounded by them.
 

Kat

Well-known member
#3
If you haven’t done it already, it may be good to talk to him on the phone for a little while then maybe he can get a better idea about you and he may realize you’re not overly confident and if he is still ok with it.

You could maybe chose an activity that may take the attention off you a little - like go see a movie.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
#4
Sounds like it's still too early for you to meet as a one on one.

What about a group meeting with people from your forum get together.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
#5
I don't think it's wrong to meet him at a pub with your friends.
You'll have music to listen to as a ice breaker and the safety of friends.
 

fitftw

Well-known member
#6
I've known two guys online for over 10 years now, longer than I've known anyone outside my family.

I'll most likely never meet them in real life. One even lives 20 minutes away, and has lived that far away for the whole 10 years.

It would simply be way too awkward.
 
#7
For me, if someone isn't a close enough friend that I could tell them I have a defective brain and may freeze up, blush, stutter or otherwise behave strangely upon meeting in real life: then they aren't close enough that I want to meet them in real life.
 
#8
i met my wife online!

we are happy together.
do be careful though

this was before i was too crippled by SA and it was awkward
but i would not trade it for anything

just gotta do what is right for you..
just be safe.. cant say that enough
tell someone where you are going and the address and time
have someone call you at a prearranged time to make sure you are safe
and get a picture if you can!

hope that rambling helps!
 
#10
I can relate, too.

I only really have one friend and I met her on this forum. We've been close for over a year now but she lives thousands of miles away so we've never met in person. I want to go over and see her more than anything but I'm absolutely terrified! She of course has SA too so we would both be feeling the same way, which is maybe a small comfort, but on the other hand conversation might be very hard for us both (I, for one, have no social skills).

I think an ideal situation would be to arrange something where conversation isn't the primary focus. A movie is a good idea, but personally, for me, something quiet and less crowded would be even better. I haven't actually come up with many ideas... only that it would be a lot easier if there was some sort of activity/thing to focus on 'doing' other than just making conversation.

In my situation though it may not matter any more because I think she's lost interest in me recently, which is why I joined back up on here; somewhere to vent my grief maybe.
 

AsTimeBurns

Well-known member
#13
Never met anyone from online in real life. To be hoenst I've never really made any friends online either XD I have plenty of aquaintances, because I join a lot of forums, but never really seem to actually become particularly friendly with them (Eg: To the point that we'd exchange MSN or something to chat away from that website).

It would probably be quite weird meeting someone from online though, especially if you've known them a long time, you will have built up a mental picture of them over time and it's almost certianly going to be inaccurate.
 
#15
I've met quite a few people online, even people I didn't know well at all. Awkward moments, yes, but it's never gone bad. I never talked on the phone beforehand, for me that's worse than face-to-face conversation.

I don't get too nervous anymore, but the first few times I was. I would stay in bed all day, then when it was time to get ready I would have to psych myself up for it.

Meeting at coffee houses has always worked well for me.

If you want to avoid onlookers try finding a place with a booth (cafe, diner, etc.) and meetup at a time when the place isn't busy, you should be able to grab a secluded spot in a corner.
 

doubleM

Well-known member
#16
ive done it before, met my friend and her fiance. it was a little awkward but went good and we had a few laughs. i showed up armed tho....lol just in case.
it was funny becuz we went hiking in the woods and we got lost. i asked them if this was their plan to bring me out in the woods and kill me. they laughed and said no. eventually we made it back.
 

Untamed88

Well-known member
#17
Be careful when you meet up with internet friends. When I was fifteen I made friends with a girl on the IMDB message boards and we agreed to meet. I wouldn't normally meet people but I had no friends in school and was getting bullied and I just really wanted a friend.
When the day came a big fat man with black hair pulled up and said he was her dad and stupidly I got in the car and then he started to talk about wine and candles. Fortunately for me he stopped at Sainsburys to get the wine and I quickly got out when he was in there and ran off.

He could have really been her dad and I made a complete idiot out of myself but it freaked me out.
 
#18
Be careful when you meet up with internet friends. When I was fifteen I made friends with a girl on the IMDB message boards and we agreed to meet. I wouldn't normally meet people but I had no friends in school and was getting bullied and I just really wanted a friend.
When the day came a big fat man with black hair pulled up and said he was her dad and stupidly I got in the car and then he started to talk about wine and candles. Fortunately for me he stopped at Sainsburys to get the wine and I quickly got out when he was in there and ran off.

He could have really been her dad and I made a complete idiot out of myself but it freaked me out.
:eek:

It doesn't sound like he was her dad. I think you had a very lucky escape there.
 

Liam17

Well-known member
#19
If you explain to him, I'm sure if he's a nice guy, he'll completely understand. Do it when you're ready, and if he's extra nice, he might help you choose a place to meet where you feel safe =)

I'm meeting Liam17 from here ^_^ and I'm going to be an anxious wreck too, but it'll be worth it =)
So am i D:

But it it will be worth it :)
 

RegalSin

Well-known member
#20
I met some people in real life, from the internet, it was a phunny thing, to end up
at the same place. Ha ha you get to see, the otherside of you.
 
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