Maybe I will always be socially anxious?

#3
One thing I learned is that no matter how serious and sever one's anxiety is, something can be done about it.

So I believe you can improve no matter what. To what degree of improvement? How long is it going to take to improve? These are the two questions to ask, but improvement can and will happen if you're willing to "get dirty in the mud" and work on the issue.

For example, the issue of eye contact... If the phobia is severe, then carefully gradual work needs to be done. Setting very minimal steps towards eye contact would be key.

Try this for a start: it's okay and 100% fine to look at the ground with your eyes when in conversation, instead of trying to change that change your head posture. Meaning, keep looking at the ground but tilt your head slightly upwards so that it's facing the other person's belly or chest. Keep looking with your eyes at the ground. Do this experiments several times until you master it then move to a slightly higher challenge. This time make your head face the other person's face but let your eyes look at his legs or belly. Do it several times till you feel comfortable. Next step is to look at his chest with your face facing him... In the long run, you'll end up looking with both face and eyes at the other person's face. And by the way, normal eye to eye contact is minimal. Usually people look away from the face and then back to it but even when they look at the face it doesn't have to be the eyes. Also, looking at someone's eyebrows or at one eye gives 100% illusion to them that you're looking straight at their eyes.

I like your username by the way! So true. :)
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
#4
One thing I learned is that no matter how serious and sever one's anxiety is, something can be done about it.

So I believe you can improve no matter what. To what degree of improvement? How long is it going to take to improve? These are the two questions to ask, but improvement can and will happen if you're willing to "get dirty in the mud" and work on the issue.

For example, the issue of eye contact... If the phobia is severe, then carefully gradual work needs to be done. Setting very minimal steps towards eye contact would be key.

Try this for a start: it's okay and 100% fine to look at the ground with your eyes when in conversation, instead of trying to change that change your head posture. Meaning, keep looking at the ground but tilt your head slightly upwards so that it's facing the other person's belly or chest. Keep looking with your eyes at the ground. Do this experiments several times until you master it then move to a slightly higher challenge. This time make your head face the other person's face but let your eyes look at his legs or belly. Do it several times till you feel comfortable. Next step is to look at his chest with your face facing him... In the long run, you'll end up looking with both face and eyes at the other person's face. And by the way, normal eye to eye contact is minimal. Usually people look away from the face and then back to it but even when they look at the face it doesn't have to be the eyes. Also, looking at someone's eyebrows or at one eye gives 100% illusion to them that you're looking straight at their eyes.

I like your username by the way! So true. :)
Thanks for the feedback. I am getting down in the mud. But, exposure and practice don't seem to work for me. I am taking medication which is helping with Depression but not with my SA. I'm going to try another medication to see if there's any improvement.

You're right, it's a matter of how much I'll be able to improve. I don't think a cure is in my future but perhaps different coping strategies. At least I got my depression under control..........well, for now. :)
 
#5
I agree with the above that we will always have some level of anxiety, but once you understand it and get the proper treatment i belive we will be fine.
 
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