anxiousmess
Well-known member
Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your evening!
I have been working in my current work environment for the past three years. I have recently got a new promotion for a higher paid and a higher grade job. The new role is still within the same work environment. Working with the same people and same staff.
Before the promotion, I was lacking motivation. Doing the same work day in and day out. For a career orientated person, you don't want to continue doing the same work every day. When the new role came, my brother encouraged me to go for the role. Wanting something good to enchance my career and to gain new experience.
I didn't really want to go for the role because I was hoping to move away from my work setting to go into a new one. With new people and new setting. Also I was looking to move on from my manager as well. We have a strained working relationship. But with a lot of encouraging words and believing in me from my family. I went for the role and got the job.
With the new role, it means having to work closely with my manager. She is treating me like a Deputy Manager within the new role. But it's not a management job. It's the highest grade job after hers hence why she is treating me like a Deputy. When she's away, I will be left in charge and she expects me to take the new role seriously.
At the moment, we are recruting for new staff. Since starting the new role, the pressure has been very high. Because of short staff, I have become a key worker for three clients. I find every day I come in to do my job. My time is used on my key clients. I have not had any time to start on my new role hence being in the role now.
My manager is observing me on the phone. I have a polite, passive and friendly manner when speaking on the phone. But she is trying to make me a more stronger assertive person. She just came back from a five days holiday. When she came back, she was speaking to me the whole day in a strict tone. Because certain things were left in the office. Because I didn't ensure they were checked and put away. Nor did I know what they were? She wanted me to be more responsible while she was away.
I am not up to the standard that she wants. She wants a responsible, motivated and assertive person who will help her in the job. I am new in the role and still learning. I have told her during my supervision. She needs to be patient because I am learning a new role. I am learning that when i was on a junior role. I didn't have much responsibility. Now I am in a new role. I am learning on what responsibility the role involves.
My colleague who recently left was my manager's favourite. She wanted him to take the new role but he was offered a new job elsewhere and he took it. She always involved him and cared for his self development. She wanted to help him to become a deputy manager. He was on the same grade as me. That really hurt me because I strongly believe in equality. I think to be a good manager, you should involve and care about all your staffs self development. I was always left out. The whole experience left me with no self esteem and I had a lot of resentment for my colleague. Because he used it to his advantage and felt he was superior towards me.
When my manager realised he wasn't going to take the new job in my setting and he was going to take a new job elsewhere. She was really upset. But encouraged me to go for it because she would rather someone she knows go for it then someone she doesn't know.
Since starting the new role, I have no motivation for my new job, nor to help my manager and nor for the work setting. I find myself not caring about any of it. I am not going out of my way to help her. I find myself thinking why now? Why do you suddenly care about wanting to help my self development? When for three years, I have felt low self esteem. Left to feel not worthy. Scarred by the experience and feel a lot of resentment towards her. I also know from the moment, she recruits new staff. She will drop me and pick her favourites again.
My family have advised me to stick it out with the new job and to gain whatever experience I can get from it. Stay for another year and then look elsewhere. As the experience will help my resume.
How can you stick out to do a job when you have lost all motivation? How can I get past the resentment that I strongly feel towards my manager?
I feel I have slipped into further depression.
I have been working in my current work environment for the past three years. I have recently got a new promotion for a higher paid and a higher grade job. The new role is still within the same work environment. Working with the same people and same staff.
Before the promotion, I was lacking motivation. Doing the same work day in and day out. For a career orientated person, you don't want to continue doing the same work every day. When the new role came, my brother encouraged me to go for the role. Wanting something good to enchance my career and to gain new experience.
I didn't really want to go for the role because I was hoping to move away from my work setting to go into a new one. With new people and new setting. Also I was looking to move on from my manager as well. We have a strained working relationship. But with a lot of encouraging words and believing in me from my family. I went for the role and got the job.
With the new role, it means having to work closely with my manager. She is treating me like a Deputy Manager within the new role. But it's not a management job. It's the highest grade job after hers hence why she is treating me like a Deputy. When she's away, I will be left in charge and she expects me to take the new role seriously.
At the moment, we are recruting for new staff. Since starting the new role, the pressure has been very high. Because of short staff, I have become a key worker for three clients. I find every day I come in to do my job. My time is used on my key clients. I have not had any time to start on my new role hence being in the role now.
My manager is observing me on the phone. I have a polite, passive and friendly manner when speaking on the phone. But she is trying to make me a more stronger assertive person. She just came back from a five days holiday. When she came back, she was speaking to me the whole day in a strict tone. Because certain things were left in the office. Because I didn't ensure they were checked and put away. Nor did I know what they were? She wanted me to be more responsible while she was away.
I am not up to the standard that she wants. She wants a responsible, motivated and assertive person who will help her in the job. I am new in the role and still learning. I have told her during my supervision. She needs to be patient because I am learning a new role. I am learning that when i was on a junior role. I didn't have much responsibility. Now I am in a new role. I am learning on what responsibility the role involves.
My colleague who recently left was my manager's favourite. She wanted him to take the new role but he was offered a new job elsewhere and he took it. She always involved him and cared for his self development. She wanted to help him to become a deputy manager. He was on the same grade as me. That really hurt me because I strongly believe in equality. I think to be a good manager, you should involve and care about all your staffs self development. I was always left out. The whole experience left me with no self esteem and I had a lot of resentment for my colleague. Because he used it to his advantage and felt he was superior towards me.
When my manager realised he wasn't going to take the new job in my setting and he was going to take a new job elsewhere. She was really upset. But encouraged me to go for it because she would rather someone she knows go for it then someone she doesn't know.
Since starting the new role, I have no motivation for my new job, nor to help my manager and nor for the work setting. I find myself not caring about any of it. I am not going out of my way to help her. I find myself thinking why now? Why do you suddenly care about wanting to help my self development? When for three years, I have felt low self esteem. Left to feel not worthy. Scarred by the experience and feel a lot of resentment towards her. I also know from the moment, she recruits new staff. She will drop me and pick her favourites again.
My family have advised me to stick it out with the new job and to gain whatever experience I can get from it. Stay for another year and then look elsewhere. As the experience will help my resume.
How can you stick out to do a job when you have lost all motivation? How can I get past the resentment that I strongly feel towards my manager?
I feel I have slipped into further depression.