life is not fun anymore please respond

noonecares86

Well-known member
I'm 29 and i feel so old and like there is nothing to look forward to. I had a great childhood but i have wasted my life since age 17. I was quiet back at school and i got bullied and i can not get over it. At 17 i started to have really bad social anxiety and other anxieties and have never been happy since. I have really bad anxiety and i hardly do anything i wasted all my 20's. I hardly go out anymore it's so bad. I'm angry at all the suffering i have done all the rejection and i'm really sad. I've tried to get help and tried meds none have worked. I been working really hard past two months to fix myself i've done a lot of exercising and reading self help books taking a class i'm really doing good but i feel so sad and like i'm too old now and i have nothing to look forward to best years are wasted. I still feel inferior thanks to people from school i see how happy they all are they have husbands and families and i'm still suffering for what they did to me. I go out sometimes and when i do i get stared at or given a dirty look like i'm not good enough everyone had a problem with how i look. I'm so done with feeling inferior no matter how hard i work it never changes i never thought i still feel this way all these years later. I've never had a boyfriend i always wanted one but either they rejected me in school or i missed my chance because of how i feel about myself. I feel like even if i had a boyfriend it wouldn't be as good as if iwas younger. I miss the past a lot everything seems sad now i work hard and feel like what's the point. I don't know what to do please anyone have advice i don't want to be missing the past anymore.
 

Megaten

Well-known member
The 20s might be someones best years but they're not for everyone. Since you dont have children, there's a lot of things you could do without having to think of others first. If you wanted to just take a vacation somewhere, you'd not have to drag youngins with you. But I personally dont think you're too old to start living the life you want, heck no. Some results of a life change could take time though. I think i started finally fighting against SA maybe at like 27 and theres still quite a bit of parts in my life that arent where I want them to be. But you should at least give yourself credit for putting some effort into it.
 

noonecares86

Well-known member
Thanks Megaten i just don't know how to stop thinking this way, i feel so inferior still to everyone and i miss my past so much.
 

Megaten

Well-known member
Yeah I can relate tbh because I got bullied too. Then when you're older people just kinda expect you to just get over things and won't say anything nice about you unless you do some extraordinary crap. Maybe look to see if there's a support group you can get into where you can get some positive reenforcement?
 

Louco

Well-known member
I have felt like this all my 20's. I literally got tired of the feeling and stopped thinking about it.

I hope my life will be good next year when I'll be 30 or it might come back though...
 
Don't value yourself based on the way the majority is.

If you really want to do something, then do it, regardless of how the others are.

If this can comfort you, I am almost 24, I am far from fitting in compared to the guys of my age, I have never had any girlfriend or sex, I've never enjoyed myself while being out with my friends..... and I am not ashamed of confessing it.
In fact, this doesn't bother me at all.

Just hang in there.
The key, according to me is : don't mind the others, be yourself.
 
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grapevine

Well-known member
Im 34. I missed out on my whole 20s really. I lived basically housebound. I had times when I was studying and would meet people but not really engage. I had a 1 time when I met a guy online and flew to meet him- the worst mistake in my life that set me back ( I was 24 then ).

Even though I havent had all those things that most people go through, all the developmental stuff that people are 'supposed' to do in their 20s, that I haven't done. I dont see it as a huge deal like I did in my late 20s as I do now. I think because I realise that I still feel as though Im in my late 20s still rather than 30s. And I guess I really try to forgive and have compassion for myself and think about the things that I have learnt in my life that others people may not even know about. Im a pretty strong person.

I see many people I went to school with who are only just starting going to uni in their 30s.
Life is really about now and not about then. I guess, you just find that motivation in you that wants to change something that bothers you in your life or get something you really want - believe that you can do what ever you put your mind to.

I think that when we think about things we cannot have, like in the past - I think that is what makes us sad.
 

noonecares86

Well-known member
Thank you all for your replies, it's really hard to be happy and to think things will be better, no matter what i do nothing is enjoyable, when i go out people always have a problem with me and it's tiring. I think about in my head as me the me i want to be who does whatever she wants and is happy, likes herself, could go anywhere and no one bothers her, but i feel like even if i try to be that girl it will never work, because people won't let me, i go out saying to myself to be that girl but then strangers put me down. I feel like if i didn't have social anxiety i wouldn't care. I want to like life again have things to look forward to, tired of being obsessed with the past. I know you guys understand how i feel so thank you for reading this
 

defiance

Well-known member
I don't enjoy life as well. Everyday all I think about is ending my life because I am nothing more than a burden and a failure. Things that I try to cheer me up only end up failing. Every night I beg to die in my sleep only to be disappointed in the morning when I wake up. Basically I get where you are coming from. I too am a bit obsessed with the past because the past contains remnants of a feeling I no longer relate to and that is happiness.
 

noonecares86

Well-known member
evilflyingcow - no i don't, i want to be in present moment but it's so hard. I do know i would
never give up trying to fix things.
 
At my lowest point, I told an online friend that I felt I had wasted my 20s and they said to me that more time would pass. Time passing is inevitable and lots more time is about to pass you by and when you look back the next time there are only two possibilities, either you will have done something in that time or you wont. It sounds obvious and yet it was an epiphany. And it changed my life.

You need something to focus on. I picked some stuff I was interested in but knew nothing about and decided to put everything into it. Went back to school started at the very bottom rung. It was pretty out of character for me at that time since I hated school when I was younger.

I can spend time alone working on stuff without other people wondering why Im on my own or never out and about and I can say ' sorry I can't Im studying' and when Im anxious I study and that takes up all my attention and I feel better. And I work a lot from home since college is hard for me some days but thats fine. I get by. And Ill keep on this route as long as Im happy. Im 4 years or 5 years in now and I can't recommend it enough :)

Thats my advice, find something that makes you tick and put everything into it. Also when doing something like this there are opportunities to meet new people if that so interests you or avoid them if you prefer.
 
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arjuna

Well-known member
Went back to school started at the very bottom rung. It was pretty out of character for me at that time since I hated school when I was younger.

Just out of curiosity, what do you mean when you say you went back to school? Could you give more details? How old were you?

I have done something similar in the past 2 years.
 

zharl

Well-known member
Huh. I'm at a loss for words for once.

I wish you the best! Hopefully things will improve soon!
 
Just out of curiosity, what do you mean when you say you went back to school? Could you give more details? How old were you?

I have done something similar in the past 2 years.

oh thats cool :)

I went back when I was 26 or 27. I needed to get better maths, I resat some exams, failed, repeated again, got them, got into University and Ive been muddling through a degree since.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I both enjoy life and fear it. I probably only started enjoying my life in my late 40s. My life is more often a nightmare than enjoyable. Every now and again it surprises me with outbreaks of happiness
 
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gustavofring

Well-known member
I feel similar. I'm 30, and sometimes feel like the best years are behind me. I fear aging and still being stuck in the same crappy situation and becoming more pathetic as my dreams erode even more. I look a lot younger than I really am. Developmentally I am way behind my peers, or even younger people. Still have a crappy menial job, no car, a crappy rental room, no money for good things, no girlfriend.

However I think I've felt this way pretty much all my life. Looking back, I've always felt 'behind' somehow. Even when it was at school and others were better than me at something, like a sport. I've always felt I'd never catch up to them, made up excuses like "I'm too old now to learn it". Therefore I've always remained passive, and never really committed myself to something. I'm plucking the fruits of that now.

I think I have to go through the realisation that I have to do things at my own pace and not compare myself to others constantly. It hasn't helped me thus far. Letting go off the past is important, as is the psychological comparison to others, and the age-thinking. Because that builds up a lot of fear and anxiety and desperation, and is really blocking any true growth.
 
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noonecares86

Well-known member
I'm having a bad day again today i just feel like i will never have fun again and the years of being happy are over. I've been spending the days thinking of crushes from when i was young. I think about everything from age 16 and before, i'm so obsessed with the past that i feel a new guy would never be able to make me feel the way the guys i liked years ago did. My social phobia was really bad today i go out and get dirty looks and stares why do people hate me everything sucks i'm tired of this anxiety and being sad about everything.
 
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