Kind of Ashamed

Tab

Well-known member
I've been debating with myself to post this here but I feel like I got nothing to lose so here it is: I'm pretty sure I am gay. I've never been with either a man or woman but I feel more attracted to men than women. I'd rather watch gay porn than straight. It's really getting to me. I haven't told anyone else my true feelings and hell I haven't even come to terms with it myself.

I feel disgusted with myself but at the same time I really wanna explore these feelings. I have no idea how anyone with SA who is attracted to the same sex can ever find someone. With society's stereotypes and all that crap, I honestly don't think I will ever be happy. I haven't told my friends or family. I'm afraid of their reactions. I'm afraid of things changing between us.

I really have no where else to turn to. I'm so confused right now. everyday I'm constantly thinking about it and I know I'm not going to act on my feelings any time soon. I'm afraid of waiting till it's too late till I accept myself. I could really use some advice.
 

RedRibbons

Well-known member
There is no reason to feel disgusted or ashamed.. And, if it makes you feel more comfortable, maybe hold off telling people that you think you're gay, until you've explored and experienced being with a man.. And even a woman (unless you really don't want to be with a woman)..

I hope over time you learn to be more okay with your preference. I don't think being gay, and a social phobic is more difficult (ultimately), it might just feel more difficult right now because you have multiple things to deal with. You'll be okay.
 

Danfalc

Banned
Maybe this is a good thing?If you really are gay then maybe because you have been repressing your feelings and stuff might of been adding to your anxiety.maybe finaly accepting these feelings might be good for you?

I can imagine it would be stressfull for someone without all the crap we have to deal with,so god knows how much it will of been adding to your stress.But yeah take your time to work out your feelings,your sexual preference is no one elses business but your own and definatley not anything to be ashamed of.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
There is nothing digusting about it, gay/bi/straight it's all natural, don't be ashamed.
:)
 

pandamonium77

Well-known member
There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Try to find a man, or a woman, and if you do/don't feel right about it, then you can make your decision, not that the decision is necessary. Don't label yourself, just be you.
 

Tab

Well-known member
Thanks guys. I just felt like telling someone, getting it off my chest. But it still doesn't make it any easier for me. I still feel alone though.::(:
 

Morgan01

Well-known member
aw well it doesn't change who you are. I am sure there are planty of people who have SA and are gay or bi you just might have to look a little harder through websites and such. It might be hard to tell your family my parents are gay and I remember when my mom first told me she was gay it was hard for me.. I didn't understand and it was hard fr all of us.. but now it is just my mom and there is nothing different about her.

change always takes time to adjust to for everyone but the people who love you will stay by your side and you will get through it. You will start to realize who your real friends are. and that might be a good thing even if it hurts at first.

It can be very hard to be different sometimes especially when we are raised a certain way but you are who you are and everything will work out. You can't change it and don't try to. Don't let anyone else try to change you either. Be strong for yourself and everyone else who is different.

You will always have support on here. Never be afraid to post what you are feeling on here k. : )
 

Sure_whynot

Well-known member
Its really not so terrible.

If you haven't been with a girl or a guy before then you cant really say your sure anyways. Gay guys always have lots of girlfriends, because they[girls] feel comfortable with them. So even with SA, if you openly admit to being gay/bi, then you'll prob find it much easier to befriend chicks.

One of my best friends is bi, he'd never hit on me or anything like that. He came out about a year ago, and we still talk about all of the same stupid shit and always have a good time chilling & everything.

If you cant accept yourself, then it'll be hard for other people to accept you.
I'd do some thinking, forget about everyone else, and figure out what you want.

Good luck bro.
 

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
You're not alone. I can totally relate to your post. I could have practically written it myself. I've had SA my whole life.. very badly.. &, though I know I'm attracted to women.. still haven't experienced anything at all because of it. I live around, & am in a family of, very bigoted people who still don't know. I've only told one person-- other than my old therapist. Though I think some people may suspect.
I've been aware of it forever, really, but actually started to come to terms with it when I was 18. I'm fine with it, theoretically, but I guess I do have some problems with it. There's a part of me that is ashamed, & I'm terrified of people finding out. But that all stems from those around me.
I worry that I'll be alone forever &, though it kills me to think it, that might end up being true. I can't socialize with people, have no friends, & don't know any gay people at all. If I did, I'd be afraid of being judged even by them because of my inexperience. I doubt anyone would even go out with me. I feel, & actually, know, I'm at a greater disadvantage than most people (straight people)-- even those around my age (27) who are still as inexperienced as me-- because of my sexuality. There are far less people to choose from & far less of a chance I'll ever meet anyone.

There's no reason to feel disgusted with yourself or ashamed. There's nothing at all wrong with it, even if others try to make you feel that there is. Regardless of your sexuality, it is a part of you & you can't change it-- nor should you try. I still, at my age, have hope-- as delusional as it may be, that I'll find someone someday who will actually accept me. I can't remember your exact age, but I've seen your posts before & am pretty sure you're a lot younger than me. You have much more time & I'm sure everything will work out for you. Just stay positive & try not to let your own negative thoughts or the negative opinions of other people get you down.

Sorry for the novel-- my post was longer than yours lol.
This is yet another post I'm going to regret. :eek: lol
 

Beyondshy

Well-known member
If you haven't been with a girl or a guy before then you cant really say your sure anyways.

That's definitely not true.

I would suggest talking to someone about how you're feeling. If you don't feel comfortable talking to friends or family then perhaps someone online?!
 

Tab

Well-known member
thanks guys for your support! i didn't think I'd get this many replies or find people with similar situations. Good to know people here understand this and find its not a big thing!!

and as for this whole fish stick thing...yes i do like them :cool:
 

ShyGuy123

Member
Not everyone is stereo typical. and i mean this in the nicest way possible. you just have to handle one ting at a time then you might have more space to think yuno. and theres nothing wrong with being gay as long as your happy thats all that matters.:) feel free to PM me anytime you need me.
 

Sure_whynot

Well-known member
That's definitely not true.

I would suggest talking to someone about how you're feeling. If you don't feel comfortable talking to friends or family then perhaps someone online?!

It definitely IS true, to an extent.

If you haven't experienced it first hand, then you cant definitively say.
There's no need to get worked up & stressed out, like he is, if he's never tried it yet.

Im not trying to ruffle any feathers, just trying to offer rational and calm advice.
 

Beyondshy

Well-known member
It definitely IS true, to an extent.

If you haven't experienced it first hand, then you cant definitively say.
There's no need to get worked up & stressed out, like he is, if he's never tried it yet.

Im not trying to ruffle any feathers, just trying to offer rational and calm advice.

Perhaps I'm not understanding you correctly. You seem to think you can't know your sexuality until you've had sex?
 
Last edited:

206Raider

Well-known member
follow your heart man I am not gay and I am probably described as homophobic, but you are who you are and do what you have to do. BTW your a gay fish
 

princess_haru

Well-known member
There's absolutely no reason for you to feel ashamed of your sexuality. My advice would be to talk to other gay people (online if you don't know any in real life) so you can benefit from their advice and experience, and from the feeling of acceptance and normality you'll get from being in the company of other gay people. My brother's gay and one of my closest friend is bi, and they're both happy with their sexual preferences and not having any problems in life because of them. Some people will experience prejudice and ignorance unfortunately, but this reflects only on the people dishing out the intolerance, not on the people receiving it :cool:
 
Top