Is this site beneficial to our anxiety?

[surewhynot]

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/ho...ite-helped-you-with-your-social-phobia-40806/

I was inspired to share my thoughts shortly after reading this particular thread, of which I found the answers to be quite troubling. Despite this, most of these thoughts originate from what I have observed during the many months of which I have been a part of this small community.

First of all, to make my motives clear, I don't mean to criticize anyone, just interested in starting a meaningful discussion.

One question that is surely of fundamental importance, but of which not many of us have actually even granted a single thought, would be : “Do I benefit from this site?”

Everyone who is here joined this site because he has social issues (anxiety, shyness, social phobia, poor social skills, hyperhidrosis, the list goes on) that he desires to resolve. Our collective goal should thus be to help one another to resolve such issues. To cure ourselves, to be who we want to be : someone who can be comfortable while participating in society. Isn't this what we all want?

And everyone on this site is so nice. Everyone seems to be genuinely trying to support one another. It is very endearing indeed. However, one could ask : so, why does it not seem to work? Very few people seem to have actually gotten better from it (based on that above link), few even seem to be getting worse with it. I personally left this website for quite a few months because I found it to be detrimental to my well being.

I believe that this site serves as a purpose that goes against the aforementioned goal. People who spend a lot of time here meet other people with similar problems, they get to talk about their issues, they finally have people that can understand them, with whom they can connect to. I believe that this site has the consequence of helping people to get comfortable with their illness, which discourages them of actually trying to overcome it : they accept it, they give up hope of changing.

When there is no Internet, if you have social anxiety, you might believe to be the only one to have such an illness. Now, with forums such as this one, you find out that there are hundreds of people just like you ; depressed, sad, confused people. Everyday, you converse with people just like you. Slowly, your illness seems to appear more and more “normal” in your eyes. You start to accept it.

I do not believe this “emotional support” to be as beneficial as many praise it to be. This site often becomes a huge, excuse me for the expression, “circle****” in which people simply praise one another, which encourages apathy.

The heroin addict doesn't get better from people supporting his addiction : he gets better from rehab. And rehab is not pleasant. Rehab stings, it hurts, no one wants to go through it. Thing is, recovery is never pleasant. Making friends who are also heroin addicts won't get you over your addiction : it will simply further encourage it.

I believe that someone who frequents this site has less chance of getting rid of his social anxiety. Of course, and I can't stress this enough : I am generalizing. This site will help MANY people. But I believe it will hurt many more.

Now that I shared my thoughts, I would like to hear yours. Thank you for your time.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I suspect that relying on just this site to make progress against social anxiety is probably about as effective as relying on just diet pills in order to lose weight.

 

[BlueDays]

I suspect that relying on just this site to make progress against social anxiety is probably about as effective as relying on just diet pills in order to lose weight.

^excellent an.alogy.:thumbup:

For many users here, it is the only place they feel comfortable talking to people. Without it they would not have many conversations in their life at all.

 

[HHDisturbed]

Hey Sure. I know we all have different degrees of SA and I can see what you are saying in your very well written thread. Instead of apathy which can reinforce such thoughts and behaviours associated with SA I feel that members should do more to encourage and support one another to take positive steps toward recovery. Instead what I often see is that misery loves company. But a pity party does nothing to help anyone move forward in a positive direction.

I enjoy nothing more than to read a post where someone is taking positive steps difference in overcoming their SA. Why? Because we ALL deserve to live a normal happy life.

 

[Diend]

Well first of all I'd like to say that you do bring up good points and I will acknowledge that Personally this site has helped me cope with my lack of solutions to my issue when it first started. You might say that we are the blind leading the blind But what I have learned about myself is that I am more sensitive than my peers. I feel people are more truthful on the site than in social interaction where a lot of lying occurs not out of habit but out of necessity. You're right that it doesn't seem like a lot of people are cured for very long time. I've been here since 2008 and i still have a bit of social anxiety but it has improved drastically

 

[Kiwong]

It's an internet forum, it's neither harmful or helpful. It's not the solution, but it is an opportunity to talk about my anxiety.

 

[SmileMore]

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/ho...ite-helped-you-with-your-social-phobia-40806/

I was inspired to share my thoughts shortly after reading this particular thread, of which I found the answers to be quite troubling. Despite this, most of these thoughts originate from what I have observed during the many months of which I have been a part of this small community.

First of all, to make my motives clear, I don't mean to criticize anyone, just interested in starting a meaningful discussion.

One question that is surely of fundamental importance, but of which not many of us have actually even granted a single thought, would be : “Do I benefit from this site?”

Everyone who is here joined this site because he has social issues (anxiety, shyness, social phobia, poor social skills, hyperhidrosis, the list goes on) that he desires to resolve. Our collective goal should thus be to help one another to resolve such issues. To cure ourselves, to be who we want to be : someone who can be comfortable while participating in society. Isn't this what we all want?

And everyone on this site is so nice. Everyone seems to be genuinely trying to support one another. It is very endearing indeed. However, one could ask : so, why does it not seem to work? Very few people seem to have actually gotten better from it (based on that above link), few even seem to be getting worse with it. I personally left this website for quite a few months because I found it to be detrimental to my well being.

I believe that this site serves as a purpose that goes against the aforementioned goal. People who spend a lot of time here meet other people with similar problems, they get to talk about their issues, they finally have people that can understand them, with whom they can connect to. I believe that this site has the consequence of helping people to get comfortable with their illness, which discourages them of actually trying to overcome it : they accept it, they give up hope of changing.

When there is no Internet, if you have social anxiety, you might believe to be the only one to have such an illness. Now, with forums such as this one, you find out that there are hundreds of people just like you ; depressed, sad, confused people. Everyday, you converse with people just like you. Slowly, your illness seems to appear more and more “normal” in your eyes. You start to accept it.

I do not believe this “emotional support” to be as beneficial as many praise it to be. This site often becomes a huge, excuse me for the expression, “circle****” in which people simply praise one another, which encourages apathy.

The heroin addict doesn't get better from people supporting his addiction : he gets better from rehab. And rehab is not pleasant. Rehab stings, it hurts, no one wants to go through it. Thing is, recovery is never pleasant. Making friends who are also heroin addicts won't get you over your addiction : it will simply further encourage it.

I believe that someone who frequents this site has less chance of getting rid of his social anxiety. Of course, and I can't stress this enough : I am generalizing. This site will help MANY people. But I believe it will hurt many more.

Now that I shared my thoughts, I would like to hear yours. Thank you for your time.

I don't think this site makes people think that SA is normal at all. I think it's a good place to vent.

Staying indoors on the internet all day is obviously unhealthy no matter what site you're on.

If you think this site is so unhelpful, may i ask why you use it?

 

[theslowesthand]

For interest, here is the poll from my thread "Has SocialPhobiaWorld helped your SA?": http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/survey/has-socialphobiaworld-helped-your-sa-769/
Seems a fairly even spread, so i don't know what conclusion to arrive at with those results, except that each person is different, and maybe some have traits which allow them to gain such benefits from this site, whereas others' traits don't allow them to gain any benefits?

This site, as with all such sites, is not perfect, and is certainly not a "cure-all" solution to one's problems (or even any one of them). Just like mental health hotlines, therapy sessions, self-help books, medications, alternative therapies, or your own efforts - each has its strengths & weaknesses, but none of them seem able to resolve all one's problems .. or even effectively resolve even one of your problems (eg SA).

Frustrating & sad, but true...

...But to end on a more positive note (lol), i think if the person "chips away" at their problems, from as many angles as they can find, and over many weeks/months/years, i think the probability is in their favour that they will someday resolve their problems of interest. No guarantees, only probabilities .. sorry (lol).

 

[Alana.JPEG]

I agree with allot of what you are saying, however I agree with allot of other people that seam to disagree too.

Personally I find this site to some degree doesn't help me and possibly even might have a bad affect on me.

But I think that anything can be bad/good.

 

[Hellhound]

A doctor is beneficial to your anxiety. I am tired of repeating myself in that matter.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I find it puzzling that anyone would expect improving mental health to be a function of this website to begin with. There are more than 2 threads about it. I've seen a number of angry, bitter threads about how SPW has not helped the poster get better, in fact. I'm not sure if they were expecting their money back, or what.



This site make no claims about being able to help anyone cure anything. It's possible to use it as networking to look for types of therapy, or to read stories about the effectiveness and side effects of medication. It's possible to do a lot of things like that, but that's entirely up to the user. Few users seem to use it that way.

A far more popular use of this place is what people call venting. Ordinary venting is of dubious benefit at best:

Does Complaining Damage Our Mental Health? | Psychology Today

Quit complaining

What's worse, the form that 'venting' often takes around here amounts to declaring that it's the big, bad world that needs to change instead of the poster. That conveniently removes the burden of both effort and responsibility from the poster, and is much more appealing to the ego than admitting how screwed up in the head you really are.

That notorious abstract known as 'society' isn't going to change with any amount of complaining about it, no matter how many people agree with you. The only thing anyone can change is themselves--and anyone not willing to do that isn't going to get any better.

 

[Lea]

Most people here are on the autism spectrum I believe, those cannot get better, only learn better how to live with it. I am tired of everyone thinking that every person who has SA is the same and have the same symptoms. Because everyone´s causes and symptoms can be very different, same as potential cures.

And most people here (esp. the young ones) are obsessed with he thought of "getting rid of SA once and for all", which is unrealistic. Instead I think they should aim to do their best with their lives that´s within their possiblites, and not aim to be extroverts when they are natural introverts etc.

I personally am here rather for the off topic discussions, bored with the SA topic.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Most people here are on the autism spectrum I believe, those cannot get better, only learn better how to live with it. I am tired of everyone thinking that every person who has SA is the same and have the same symptoms. Because everyone´s causes and symptoms can be very different, same as potential cures.

And most people here (esp. the young ones) are obsessed with he thought of "getting rid of SA once and for all", which is unrealistic. Instead I think they should aim to do their best with their lives that´s within their possiblites, and not aim to be extroverts when they are natural introverts etc.

I personally am here rather for the off topic discussions, bored with the SA topic.

I'm not sure about the autism part, but I agree with the rest. I've seen a number of posters, and yes--usually the younger ones--refer to curing SA in the terms one would use for curing a sinus infection. It just doesn't work like that.

 

[kihira]

'You Are Not Alone' - this is a main benefit to using this forum, my anxiety was at it's worst before the internet was in general use, so i had no idea what was happening to me

 

[coyote]

I'm not sure if they were expecting their money back, or what.

like most things in life, we get what we pay for

:idontknow:

and, like most things in life, we'll get out of this forum what we put into it

if we put joy, wonder, and love into it, we'll get those things back

if we put hate, misery, and despair into it, we'll get those things back as well

and as ironic as it may be, I think the best use of this site is to socialize - it can be a way to learn how to interact with people, or it can be a safe way to do so when you aren't comfortable socializing in other ways

 

[Odo]

I've met people on here that I genuinely like but we're all so spread out that I really can't expect them to make me much of a priority... which is kind of a shame but it's better than being alone with people who don't understand me.

Finding people that I like/click with helps me to feel better about myself for sure, and if they understand my SA (and I understand theirs) then that's a bonus-- I'm probably less likely to try to cover it up and I can tell them about those kinds of issues.

But the general forum doesn't help because it's not really geared towards specific interests and we're all different people who don't necessarily have the world in common... and some people seem pretty set on keeping their distance which also isn't so inviting.

 

[jaim38]

I don't feel less socially anxious by going to this site, but overall, this site has improved my overall mental health. First, I vent on here. In the past, I don't have anyone to vent to in real life which leads to me bottling up my emotions, which makes me feel even worse. My parents don't understand, my friends are busy with jobs and other stuff, etc. SPW, on the other hand, is my 24/7 go-to buddy that I can always vent on.

Secondly, I was introduced to beneficial meditation resources on this site, especially vipassana meditation. They help me become more aware of my thought processes which lead to better mental control.

Thirdly, it's reassuring to know there are other people out there going through the same thing.

 

[NightTimeForever]

I'm sure this site has helped some people. For me, it's probably increased my anxiety to a mild extent because I realize that even the fellow SAers are different than myself.

The one psychologist I went to ruled out autism.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

The heroin addict doesn't get better from people supporting his addiction : he gets better from rehab. And rehab is not pleasant. Rehab stings, it hurts, no one wants to go through it. Thing is, recovery is never pleasant. Making friends who are also heroin addicts won't get you over your addiction : it will simply further encourage it.

This is a false an@logy. Social anxiety isn't an addiction, and people on this site don't support social anxiety. It's not like we're telling each other, "Social anxiety is awesome! You should try it sometime."

On a side note, the first part of the word "an@logy" is censored? You've got to be kidding me mg:

 

[A86]

like most things in life, we get what we pay for

:idontknow:

and, like most things in life, we'll get out of this forum what we put into it

if we put joy, wonder, and love into it, we'll get those things back

if we put hate, misery, and despair into it, we'll get those things back as well

Exactly. This site is a tool, and its effectiveness depends on how it is wielded.

If you have a hammer you could build a super awesome tree house, or just hit yourself with it.

In my experience, you can not help someone not willing to help themselves.