Is it harder for girls to go unnoticed?

Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
I think so. I think men lust after women so they will always notice women. And women also look at other women to compare their looks, clothes, etc. So in the end it's impossible for a girl like me to go unnoticed, no matter what I do. This is my theory. What are your thoughts on this?
 
Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
Hellhound said:
Why would you want to go unnoticed?
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I love going unnoticed. I leave people alone and expected the same in return. When I leave my home, I'm not interested in chatting. And on top of that, I rather not be stared at. Therefore I wish to go unnoticed and just be part of the surroundings, not picked out as an object for staring. In my ideal world I would get on the bus, grocery shop, go home, without anyone picking me out.
I'm aware there are people who are the exact opposite of this, and would do anything to be the center of attention.
 
TreeBones

TreeBones

Well-known member
I personally don't believe so.
Women lust after men just as men do women, and men compare themselves to other men just as women do. (although it's said that guys are more visual)...
I guess it's all at random unless you're above average or under average maybe, because people are going to stare anyway. Although, like you, I wish that wasn't the case.
 
Diend

Diend

Well-known member
I think when you're the new girl in school, it is very easy for girls to take you in their group. Not so much, guys.
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
Diend said:
I think when you're the new girl in school, it is very easy for girls to take you in their group. Not so much, guys.
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I think the guys will take the girls in their group as long as the girls probably share most of the guy's traits(like sports, video games, action movies, ect) Though, I'm not saying it going for every girl who likes boy things will become a part of being in a guy group. I'm not girly but I don't like sports either, and I found it very difficult to get along with both girls and guys because they couldn't accept I was introverted and had my own likes/dislikes.
 
Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
TreeBones said:
I personally don't believe so.
Women lust after men just as men do women, and men compare themselves to other men just as women do. (although it's said that guys are more visual)...
I guess it's all at random unless you're above average or under average maybe, because people are going to stare anyway. Although, like you, I wish that wasn't the case.
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Well, I disagree. And even if women did lust after men equally, we sure as he'll don't show it. If I took data on the number of times a man has honked and hollered simply from seeing a woman, and compared it to women who have done the same, the difference would be drastic. I'm not saying NO women have ever yelled out "hot stuff!" or whatever to a man but the frequency would be a fraction of the men's. Of course this is an arbitrary example. So what if I just polled people by gender and asked if they have ever lusted after a stranger on the train, in the store, etc. Women would answer "yes" less than men.
As for how men compare themselves, I have no clue. I've never in my life heard a man say something like "look at what that guy has on!" not have I heard a man comment on a stranger's haircut. But that's just anecdotal evidence.
And lastly, I wrote this as if only heterosexuality exists. I know that is not true, and I do not wish to offend or exclude anyone with my extremely general statements.
 
Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
jc972 said:
Here's a thought: is it harder for women in general?
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I believe so. I live in the US and imagine it's worse in other parts of the globe.

But let's not widen the scope of this question. Any men are free to chime in and convince me they constantly feel watched in public.
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
I don't think so.

I think teenagers and twenty-somethings tend to eye each other up a lot more than older people. More attention is paid to you if you're familiar, seem familiar, are super- attractive, or behave or carry yourself in an odd fashion.

I can't really comment on whether or not life is harder for men or women-- on the one hand there's a lot of sexist discrimination out there and men usually have more power, but on the other hand women tend to have better support networks.

Mostly, I think life is hard for people who too easily fit into the wrong categories.
 
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darrens

Active member
I think going unnoticed is more difficult for a girl,guys look at girls they can't help it,i don't think women stare at men as much or in the same way,men just can't help it if u ask me.
Even the nicest guys and ones you would least expect to can't help staring at women sometimes.

But if you are asking is everything harder for women i would say no,not everything,for example finding a partner is more difficult for a guy,well at least a guy with SA will have a lot more difficulty finding a partner than a girl with SA,shyness or quietness or whatever u might call it in a girl can be considered attractive to many guys,but this will never be attractive to girls at least the vast majority of them.
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
I look at the ground when I walk. I only see feet and feet don't have eyes to see me so I go unnoticed :)



...but no I don't think it's harder for women. And on that subject, women are just as leery as men. And I think people are starey in general for reasons other than attraction, actually I'd say 'attraction' is the least reason people stare. People stare at anyone who they perceive to be in any way different, its curiosity.
 
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TreeBones

TreeBones

Well-known member
Livemylife said:
Well, I disagree. And even if women did lust after men equally, we sure as he'll don't show it. If I took data on the number of times a man has honked and hollered simply from seeing a woman, and compared it to women who have done the same, the difference would be drastic. I'm not saying NO women have ever yelled out "hot stuff!" or whatever to a man but the frequency would be a fraction of the men's. Of course this is an arbitrary example. So what if I just polled people by gender and asked if they have ever lusted after a stranger on the train, in the store, etc. Women would answer "yes" less than men.
As for how men compare themselves, I have no clue. I've never in my life heard a man say something like "look at what that guy has on!" not have I heard a man comment on a stranger's haircut. But that's just anecdotal evidence.
And lastly, I wrote this as if only heterosexuality exists. I know that is not true, and I do not wish to offend or exclude anyone with my extremely general statements.
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I guess I don't see things the same way.
I don't believe women only care about clothes and if they look better than the other women around them. I also don't believe women are more tame in sexuality.(although I do think most won't admit it and that there is less "honking", or what have you, from women)
Also, my family is mostly males and they make comments about, and to, men and women, depending.
agree to disagree, I guess lol.
 
Livemylife

Livemylife

Well-known member
SteinerOfThule said:
Are you attractive?
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No.

TreeBones said:
I guess I don't see things the same way.
I don't believe women only care about clothes and if they look better than the other women around them. I also don't believe women are more tame in sexuality.(although I do think most won't admit it and that there is less "honking", or what have you, from women)
Also, my family is mostly males and they make comments about, and to, men and women, depending.
agree to disagree, I guess lol.
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I didn't say women only cared about clothes. How strange.

joule said:
I look at the ground when I walk. I only see feet and feet don't have eyes to see me so I go unnoticed :)



...but no I don't think it's harder for women. And on that subject, women are just as leery as men. And I think people are starey in general for reasons other than attraction, actually I'd say 'attraction' is the least reason people stare. People stare at anyone who they perceive to be in any way different, its curiosity.
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I look at the ground too. However, I know it is impossible to block out everyone. I can still see those around me, especially when they move, even if my eyes are looking directly downward, near my feet. And I'm freakishly good at blocking out everything, but the only way to get 100% is to just sit in class, stand in line, etc with my eyes closed...

And yeah, I think it's funny that people automatically go to "attractive" when discussing what causes others to stare. By people I mean users online and also counselors in real life. Ironically I am totally over asking that and did not ask that here. Somehow "attraction" still popped up...It's as if these people don't live in the same world I do...It's things like this that make me ponder if others are in denial or if they're brains are just drastically different from mine.
Like you said, people will stare at those who are different. And yeah, maybe even more than they stare at someone who is so hot. I mean I'm sure anyone with some sort of visible disorder or even someone in a wheelchair could attest to getting a large amount of staring...And yes the stares can be negative if the difference is deemed "ugly." This is especially apparent among children who not only gawk but will go up to the person and tease or flat out ask "what's wrong with you." There is speculation as to what adults are thinking because adults know how to bullshit. Ask them why they're staring and they'll say they have no idea what you're talking about. Tell someone else you're being stared at and it's "maybe they find you attractive." :eek:mg:
 
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