I want more than friendship

arjuna

arjuna

Well-known member
I really like one of my coworkers. We have known each other for quite a long time and I have gone out with her a couple of times for a drink. We are friends but I want to have a romantic relationship with her. The problem is that I can never find the moment to tell her how I feel. Maybe you could help me think of a way of telling her.

Thank you.
 
SalemEdgerton1

SalemEdgerton1

Well-known member
The two times I've asked a girl out I've just said something like, "Would you like to have dinner/lunch sometime?" You don't really even have to specifically say can I take you out. I think that'll become somewhat implied as you guys spend more and more time together...at least that's how I figure.

Both times I've asked her out after I'd gotten to know her (one of them I'd known for years). I think you better your chances if you already know some about the girl. Makes it easier to know if she'll say yes or not. Best of luck with it man!
 
Jay Cataldo

Jay Cataldo

Well-known member
SalemEdgerton1 said:
The two times I've asked a girl out I've just said something like, "Would you like to have dinner/lunch sometime?" You don't really even have to specifically say can I take you out. I think that'll become somewhat implied as you guys spend more and more time together...at least that's how I figure.
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You're right about that, Salem. Arjuna, keep it as casual as possible. Ask the girl to hang out and go have some fun together. Don't mention your feelings, dating or relationships. Just have fun.

Btw, dating coworkers is a recipe for disaster.
 
SalemEdgerton1

SalemEdgerton1

Well-known member
Jay Cataldo said:
You're right about that, Salem. Arjuna, keep it as casual as possible. Ask the girl to hang out and go have some fun together. Don't mention your feelings, dating or relationships. Just have fun.

Btw, dating coworkers is a recipe for disaster.
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haha really? The last girl I dated was a coworker though it really didn't work because we didn't communicate well to each other and assumed too much. We're good friends at least and that's good enough for me. You're right though I think it's kind of a gamble esepecially if things don't turn out well. Things between us were quite awkward for a while until we actually talked it out. I'd say it's okay as long as there's good communication and a underlying feeling of strong friendship rather than lust.
 
Jay Cataldo

Jay Cataldo

Well-known member
SalemEdgerton1 said:
haha really? The last girl I dated was a coworker though it really didn't work because we didn't communicate well to each other and assumed too much. We're good friends at least and that's good enough for me. You're right though I think it's kind of a gamble esepecially if things don't turn out well. Things between us were quite awkward for a while until we actually talked it out. I'd say it's okay as long as there's good communication and a underlying feeling of strong friendship rather than lust.
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You lucked out. It often leads to serious complications in the workplace (drama, loss of productivity, public blowouts, etc.) some of which can only be rectified by leaving the company.

Inter-office dating will always be enticing because it's easy and convenient, but one bad experience is usually enough to make you swear off it for good. It can sometimes work out, but the risks outweigh the rewards. Proceed with caution... especially if you like your job.
 
SalemEdgerton1

SalemEdgerton1

Well-known member
Jay Cataldo said:
You lucked out. It often leads to serious complications in the workplace (drama, loss of productivity, public blowouts, etc.) some of which can only be rectified by leaving the company.

Inter-office dating will always be enticing because it's easy and convenient, but one bad experience is usually enough to make you swear off it for good. It can sometimes work out, but the risks outweigh the rewards. Proceed with caution... especially if you like your job.
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Yeah when I go back to that job I told myself to not do that anymore. It almost got really bad the first time but fortunately everything worked out. But, I think I have a better chance there than I do at school right now, so I don't know.
 
M

magic

Member
Just take each day as it comes.Don't confess how you feel about her,that approach is way to confrontational.
 
madmike

madmike

Well-known member
Wish i were better at this myself, but just keep asking her for drinks, see how things develop. Invite her back for coffee at yours sometime, maybe then you'll get an invitation back... and before you know it you might be standing on the altar taking your vows :D
 
arjuna

arjuna

Well-known member
Thanks for all the replies. And Jay, my job isn't the best in the world so I don't think I would miss much if I quitted.

I'm going out with her on Tuesday. Wish me luck!
 
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