I think he broke up with me please help

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
#1
11:51 AM Him: hey

how are you ?







5 minutes


11:57 AM me: hi him im ok how are you ?

watching math videos now, blah :p

11:58 AM Him: boooring

im ok too. my car died and taking care of my mom and stuff has put me in a bad mood

11:59 AM me: :-< can you get it fixed?? and yeah i understand hope your mom gets better soon

hopefully it didn't die when you were on the road or something

12:00 PM Him: i think so. no it didnt

i wanted to talk to you though...

me: ok

Him: i guess its kind of apparent that we've both been busy lately

12:02 PM me: yeah so?

12:03 PM Him: not really the time or energy for a relationship. I just dont want to lead you on cause im not sure when/if that is going to change

12:04 PM me: oh :( so we shouldn't date anymore?

Him: im sorry i couldnt really figure out how to tell you on the phone

me: it's ok

12:05 PM Him: and we havent seen eachother in a while. I just wanted to be honest with you cause you're so sweet

12:06 PM me: i thought you liked me more than that though.. oh well

12:07 PM i mean i thought we were going to go further

if you lost feeling i can understand though

feelings*

12:09 PM Him: i do like you

just dont want to lead you on before feelings get too strong

me: youre just into be like that?

12:10 PM youre just not into me like that sorry :S

12:11 PM Him: you are sexy, sweet, pretty, thoughtful, creative

12:12 PM me: i'm confused then

Him: so its not something you did. just circumstances

12:13 PM me: we can still make time but if you actually lost feelings it's different

heh ok got it

12:15 PM Him: I dont think ive lost feelings. cause you havent been doing anythign to change my mind. i just dont think the feelings are strong enough right now to say we are progressing into a relationship

12:17 PM we can still hang out and do whatever. I'm just trying to speak my mind

12:19 PM i hope thats fair to say

12:20 PM :(

12:22 PM me: yeah it is.. i just like you more than you like me oviously so it sucks for me ;)

12:23 PM so how was your day yesterday ?

12:25 PM Him: it was ok. went to happy hour with the gay concierge at our office building. then went to another friends bday celebration last minute

played rockband at her and her husbands house

12:26 PM me: cool.. sounds fun

12:27 PM i just hooked up my x box but it's not on live yet..

Him: yeah it was ok. planned on getting home and getting stuff done but had a few at happy hour and got a text from them

12:28 PM i cant get an xbox or anything. too addictive!

but you have your new tv

that must be nice

12:29 PM me: yeah i had it since freshman year of high school

it is..

Greyson: oh old school xbox?

me: i don't think so, it's a 360

12:30 PM Him: oh damn i didnt know 360 was that old

me: yeah it just came out then i think







8 minutes


12:39 PM me: heading out, have a good day

12:41 PM Him: you too. ill ttyl hopefully


Should I ever talk to him again or did he just say that to give me false hope?? :( Does he just want to be friends now? What should i do....
 

gazelle

Well-known member
#2
I don't think you should talk to him anymore,the only thing that it's going to result in is you getting hurt even more.
I can understand that it's going to be very hard for you at first to stay away from him but I think it's the best favor you can do to yourself.
And don't fall for that only friends thing .
I actually read this advice in a dating tips site;
When a man rejects you, and you're still
hanging out and being "friends", when in fact
you still have very real feelings for him, you're
actually subjecting yourself to hurt and pain as
long as you continue to allow him to be just
your "friend."

This is a toxic situation for you.
If you tell him that "friends" is fine -
he'll start to think he can just add in some
"benefits" - and that it will STILL be fine.
It will - for HIM. But not for YOU.
 

Kinetik

Well-known member
#3
It sounds to me like he may be interested in someone else but that he wants to keep his options open with you in case he messes up with a new girl. I may be wrong, but that's the impression I get. Either way, it's not a good idea for you to wait around on him. If you feel strong enough, I would advise you to do your own thing for a while and not initiate contact with him. You don't want to be a consolation prize.
 
#4
That was kind of painful to read. ::(: It felt almost like intruding on your personal conversation.

I think it's clear that he wants to break off any kind of romantic relationship. It's not so clear whether he'd want to still hang out as friends. I think the question you need to ask yourself is whether you feel you could be just friends with him, or whether you'd always be hoping he'd change his mind and want to go back to being something more. If you would be happy to remain friends, then maybe try to make some firm arrangement for the two of you to do something together in the near future. If he accepts, great. If he makes excuses then I think you have your answer.

Sorry things turned out this way for you LHC. ::(:
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
#6
sending LHC *hugs*

wow hun, that was very personal, but he did use text/im instead of face to face so, I suppose it's fair game for posting, but agree was hard to read like Rembrandt said. :(

IMHO ...He sounds "busy" to me, but he does seem to care about your friendship so you could try to also like RB said to "redefine the relationship" and see where things lead to. that being said..You should probably be looking for another boyfriend though, because he did say a few times he didn't want to lead you on, which probably means he is pretty closed off for anything more serious with you anytime soon.

Look for a guy who wants to be with you every second of the day, or if he can't, wants to be. That's the one that really wants to be with you. Realtionships require work from both people and if one decides to drop out its never usually gonna work out. It's like if your in a canoe and you each have a paddle to stear in the same direction, but he drops his and decides not to row.

Find the guy who can't be away from you if you truely want to be in a real relationship, otherwise your looking at someone who just wants to be friends. Can you be friends with a guy you have stronger feelings for? That's a very tricky friendship, and you might get hurt. I think you might want to cut your losses. and maybe get out? Ugh....i am sorry. There's so many guys out there that would love to spend time with you and treat you special like you deserve. Just have to be open and keep looking. You're young and have yrs and yrs of dating you can do. Make it with the right guy though.
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
#7
That sounds pretty cruel to me, he breaks up with you but at the same time tries to convince you that he's a great guy that likes you. It does sound like he's going to pursue someone else and keep you as a back up option. I think i'd rather be told to **** off, atleast then you'd know where you stand.

I have to say though that i don't know **** about such matters, so my opinion isn't really worth anything.
Yeah that's what i was thinking.... -.-'
 

mmmm

Well-known member
#8
I know other people have said this.

It really seems like this guy likes being admired by you and doesn't want that part to end but now he wants to have that without you expecting anything back. Do not trust your emotions in this. Go with your gut. I know it feels great to be with him but he is keeping you on the string for his own sake.
Sorry.
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
#9
sending LHC *hugs*

wow hun, that was very personal, but he did use text/im instead of face to face so, I suppose it's fair game for posting, but agree was hard to read like Rembrandt said. :(

IMHO ...He sounds "busy" to me, but he does seem to care about your friendship so you could try to also like RB said to "redefine the relationship" and see where things lead to. that being said..You should probably be looking for another boyfriend though, because he did say a few times he didn't want to lead you on, which probably means he is pretty closed off for anything more serious with you anytime soon.

Look for a guy who wants to be with you every second of the day, or if he can't, wants to be. That's the one that really wants to be with you. Realtionships require work from both people and if one decides to drop out its never usually gonna work out. It's like if your in a canoe and you each have a paddle to stear in the same direction, but he drops his and decides not to row.

Find the guy who can't be away from you if you truely want to be in a real relationship, otherwise your looking at someone who just wants to be friends. Can you be friends with a guy you have stronger feelings for? That's a very tricky friendship, and you might get hurt. I think you might want to cut your losses. and maybe get out? Ugh....i am sorry. There's so many guys out there that would love to spend time with you and treat you special like you deserve. Just have to be open and keep looking. You're young and have yrs and yrs of dating you can do. Make it with the right guy though.
I guess i just posted because i don't really know how to handle these things. I told my best friends and they just said find someone new so :S I just feel like i wasn't myself since i was so nervous and wanted more time. It's not that easy. But anyway thx for the advice -hugs-!
 

Mickery

Well-known member
#11
Yeah that's what i was thinking.... -.-'
Nooooooooooo. No no no no! He just cares about your feelings enough to let you know that it's not that you said or did anything wrong. People feel fragile when hearing something like that, so you reassure them.

More commonly known as "it's not you, it's me", which is not a made-up excuse as often as empty-headed girlie advice would have you believe.
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
#12
Nooooooooooo. No no no no! He just cares about your feelings enough to let you know that it's not that you said or did anything wrong. People feel fragile when hearing something like that, so you reassure them.

More commonly known as "it's not you, it's me", which is not a made-up excuse as often as empty-headed girlie advice would have you believe.
I'm in the denial phase right now though :p
 
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