dannyboy65
Well-known member
I recently started to do my on the job training in nursing homes and honestly it's the only thing in that's giving me some joy in my life. While I'm going there I live with my girlfriend who always wants my attention and it just gets on my nerves sometimes. I come back home every weekend and see my best friend and my brother have bonded and forgotten about me. I'm a loner at school and just sit alone most of the time. I've tried to bond and make friends but none of them want to talk to me. I really want to smoke again, it's been 2 years smoke free. I can't though I'm to broke to smoke, I have no money and still owe the school $599 that I need to pay this month. I'm just so stressed and overwhelmed with everything.
I try to enjoy video games or comic books or music. I can't though instead all I want to do is sleep. Honestly I sleep to much now, I used to never sleep but now I'm always sleeping. I have constant nightmares though and always wake up in the middle of the night.
I guess I only feel joy when I'm at work because I'm helping these people who are vulnerable and I'm trying to give them hope. I want them to be happy, I just don't want anyone to feel as dark as I do inside. It makes me feel like I have a purpose and I'm afraid if I lose it I lose my purpose in life, I don't know what would happen then.
I try to enjoy video games or comic books or music. I can't though instead all I want to do is sleep. Honestly I sleep to much now, I used to never sleep but now I'm always sleeping. I have constant nightmares though and always wake up in the middle of the night.
I guess I only feel joy when I'm at work because I'm helping these people who are vulnerable and I'm trying to give them hope. I want them to be happy, I just don't want anyone to feel as dark as I do inside. It makes me feel like I have a purpose and I'm afraid if I lose it I lose my purpose in life, I don't know what would happen then.