I have 1 suggestion for younger avoidants...

bsammy

Well-known member
im in my mid 30s and through trial and error and much thought, i have come to the conclusion that i should NOT have cut off a few of my old friends..i should have done what was necessary, no matter how draining and painful to keep a few of those old friends around as i realize now just how extremely difficult it is to start up new friendships at my age with my disorder..its almost impossible to start up friendships that will go somewhere at my age as everyone has their set routine, family etc etc...sure, you can tag along or whatever but thats lame...

so, i highly suggest to you younger avoidants and social phobes(teens and 20s), do whatever you can to keep those friends you have now around..as u get older it gets extremely difficult to make new ones..please trust me on this!others my age im sure will agree..

problem is i also realize we have social disorders that basically paralyze our ability to keep and maintain relationships so..still, my advice stands..hopefully others my age will come on here and give their thoughts!
 

Earthcircle

Well-known member
I'm 49 and I find myself having little choice but to try to make friends with people in their 20s. That's why I sometimes call myself a creep, because I feel that this is not normal. On the other hand, what choices do I have?
 

Norman190

New member
I'm nearly 30 and have lost touch with a few old friends, really regret that but still have a few good friends left, need to put the effort in
 
Yeah... I'm terrified of this happening. I was just reading articles earlier today after I Googled "making close friends as an adult is hard." I'm nearly 24 and I don't have any close friends... only acquaintances and people to "hang out" with.
 

TreeBones

Well-known member
im in my mid 30s and through trial and error and much thought, i have come to the conclusion that i should NOT have cut off a few of my old friends..i should have done what was necessary, no matter how draining and painful to keep a few of those old friends around as i realize now just how extremely difficult it is to start up new friendships at my age with my disorder..its almost impossible to start up friendships that will go somewhere at my age as everyone has their set routine, family etc etc...sure, you can tag along or whatever but thats lame...

so, i highly suggest to you younger avoidants and social phobes(teens and 20s), do whatever you can to keep those friends you have now around..as u get older it gets extremely difficult to make new ones..please trust me on this!others my age im sure will agree..

problem is i also realize we have social disorders that basically paralyze our ability to keep and maintain relationships so..still, my advice stands..hopefully others my age will come on here and give their thoughts!

^ agree :thumbup:
 

bsammy

Well-known member
I'm 49 and I find myself having little choice but to try to make friends with people in their 20s. That's why I sometimes call myself a creep, because I feel that this is not normal. On the other hand, what choices do I have?

ehh not so sure that is going to work out well for you..usually with as age gap that wide its going to be vibe with the younger people..and yeah, have them not think you are a creeper..
 

bsammy

Well-known member
Yeah... I'm terrified of this happening. I was just reading articles earlier today after I Googled "making close friends as an adult is hard." I'm nearly 24 and I don't have any close friends... only acquaintances and people to "hang out" with.

again, do what you must do, volunteer, start going to the bar or pick upa sport but start trying to make friends now!the only way i made friends in the past were through school, sports or my work..you hang out with these friends and meet their friends etc etc...

tbh, the friends you have growing up are the best kind as you have been through so much together..even if i met some cool person tonight, we dont have history together and to build any type of history would take awhile and a ton of hard work and it still wouldnt be the same..

yes, making friends as an adult is extremely difficult even for 'normal' folks, much less for people that suffer from disorders like many of us do :thumbdown: i have pretty good social skills too so just goes to show ya..
 
dcfrdc

I kind of think making friends AND keeping in touch with them can be a nearly impossible task for anyone with avoidant behavior patterns. I am 22 now, but I don't have any friends at this point, and I honestly don't know how to make or keep them for the life of me. No matter what, the avoiding seems to overpower everything. Maybe one day a friend could be possible, hopefully sometime in the somewhat near future and not never. My hope on this subject just keeps fading and fading as time goes on. If it only gets harder, that's going to be a serious problem :/.
 
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