I feel like the devil has taken me over

[Kathryn]

I keep getting this paranoid feeling that the world is ending. It's this feeling that has somewhat forced me out of my shell a bit lately. And now if the world ends, all the time that I've wasted in silence is catching up with me....it's like I've been dropped down a black hole and HERE I AM. This makes me so depressed...I can't stand it. I feel like I just want to rip off my skin.

This feeling has forced me to face God as well as reality, and it hurts me greatly. Because no matter what I do, I'm still a boring, lifeless, untalkative and depressed being. When I try to talk to people, I feel so cold....I just can't socialize. I can't make sense. My nervous system is so sensitive that the sound of a pin drop rattles my brain. I'm completely crazy. And it's not my fault....I really can't help it.
So now I am angry at God, because he has forced me to see reality, while at the same time has not cured my extreme shyness and has left me to suffer.

When I look at the devil, he tells me lies. But I like these lies. They mire me in fantasy and make me feel complete. They are my sole comfort in this terrible world and they ease my deranged mind.

I was once a Christian. I'm not quite sure if I am anymore, because I feel like God doesn't love me.
If there is a God out there somewhere, then I blame HIM for making me a shy, sheltered individual; I myself have had no control over my situation. HE is the reason why I seek solance in the devil, because I find no comfort in God himself.

My life is so....screwed up. And it's only getting worse. It's all God's fault. All I've done in life was work hard and be sweet to everyone, thinking that some day God would reward and help me. And all I've gotten in return was ****. There is little, if any, love in this family. And I have to live my life with these people, the only people that God has given me.
So the devil, if he does exist, is my companion. He, too, was cast away from God and labeled a reject.

 

[Spike Lee]

God and the Devil are not real

 

[Danfalc]

God and the Devil are not real

Ugh please if you have nothing constructive to post,please don't just make a remark like this to someone who is just asking for help,not your religious views.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

if you want to look at things from a christian stand point, there is absolutly no promise whatsoever in that theology that you'll be happy in this lifetime no matter how good you've been. jesus was a pretty good guy and even he didnt get a happy ending. alot of the saints had crappy lives too, so it just doesnt work that way in the good book or anywhere else.

the important part though, is that you obviously hurt a lot, and that would make anyone angry, im sorry you feel that way. i relate to what you say, i always feel like im coming unglued in a fundamental way, and its frustrating to have no immediate solution or control over that .

 

[Newtype]

I'm sorry to say this, but it's too late to save the world my dear. Humans have already destroyed this world too much to go back, but it's also obvious that people are changing for the worse and there's nothing you can do to stop it. I personally feel that I am cursed for being one of the few who can see it. I'm not gonna tell you whether you should believe in God or not, but overcoming your problems is definitely something you have to do on your own. Don't think about the world's problems. It's not your job. Concentrate on your own problems and work on a plan to cure yourself. I'm sure you can do it, the answers are all within us. There is still a lot of beauty remaining in this world. We all want cure ourselves and get a glimpse of it while we still can.

 

[Spike Lee]

Ugh please if you have nothing constructive to post,please don't just make a remark like this to someone who is just asking for help,not your religious views.

you're absolutely right.


I'm sick today (sinus trouble) so I really didn't even read her post, I just read the title and quickly responded.


I'll read the post when I'm a bit level headed and give a much better response sometime soon.

 

[lunarla]

If the world does happen to end, then wouldn't holding on to your faith give you comfort that you would then go to heaven and be in peace if that does happen any time soon? I haven't experienced a lot in my life either. In fact, I've mostly stayed in and around my house for the past 3 months. But even without a lot of accomplishments, I'm still grateful to be in the world around me. Just the nature of everything, really!

That being said, I truly don't think the world is ending. I also don't believe in god and am not a religious person. (In turn, I also don't believe in the devil) But if you are really feeling bad and helpless, then I think your faith could help you. Or, in contrast, maybe giving up any kind of pressure that believing in god and the devil are putting on you would do you some good! I think that you're just in a rut, possibly? We all get there sometimes. There's never nothing to live for. Start with being grateful for the really small things! Whether you attribute them to god or not. And pretty soon, those small gratitudes might move you forward! I can go out for a walk and be truly grateful that I'm here, even if I'm not in the best place with my life right now. I wish you the same contentment!

 

[Danfalc]

I'll read the post when I'm a bit level headed and give a much better response sometime soon.

No worries,I sometimes skim posts myself,so I appreciate you didn't mean to and sorry for presuming you did!

 

[agoraphobickatie]

however you want to look at it, religious or not.. you're doing absolutely nothing constructive for yourself by blaming others. and that's the flat out truth, straight up fact. and often (and when i say often, i mean all the time) when religious people want to say "i don't think God loves me", it's more like "i don't love my God"... i've wondered how religious people could think selfishly that way... if you don't want to be religious or have faith, that's totally fine. but if you are, how could you ever believe that your God has forsaken you.. it's just not a possibility...

anyway, work on getting your head in the right place from the bottom up. blaming anyone else is not productive and won't solve any of your problems.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Time Question

I don't really want to say anything about Religion or what I think about it, but I think that's what going to make you Crazy. You can use Religion as an escape for things like this and it can help some people, but obviously it's not working for you right now. Half of what you said doesn't even make sense to me. I think it'd be better if you don't wind yourself up so much in religion right now, and just focus more on you and your own problems right now. Don't think about this stuff too much or you'll drive yourself into insanity, seriously.

 

[Lea]

I can completely understand the feelings of OP, this is a valid thought. I often ask the same... I really don't know how this works and why is the world the way it is, why is it so unfair and cruel. Someone can say, if we are unwell it's the result of how we behaved. Or in case we behaved right our whole life, they can say it's our bad karma from previous lives. But if it is, how come we don't remember our past lives and what we've done wrong. Why, I think we should . And what about people who are born disabled, physically or mentally, what chance of improvement do they have. Even worse, what about animals born just for slaughter, living in cages in horrible conditions their whole lives, who are being fed steroids just to grow up until they can't walk? Who are being treated like **** during their short miserable lives and slaughtered in a cruel way? Are they also here to improve their karma or to grow up spiritually? This seems to me ridiculous, because they have zero chances of improvement. They are doomed from the moment of birth.

 

[CPA23]

I was looking through this thread and I was just disgusted in the worse way with some of the comments that I've read. You have to realize that everyone goes through struggles in their lives. Hell, I've been through many ups and downs in my life including social anxiety. I'm only 25, but sometimes I do wonder will I be able to make it through my life. I sometimes feel like that it's just too much. But I have never, never completely given in into this defeatist mentality. You have to dig deep inside you to find out how strong you are in difficult times. I don't care who you are, we ALL have to search deep inside our souls to find out what we are made of. So, are you gonna have this negative and defeatist attitude or are you gonna see what you're made of? Believe it or not, there are many people who are a hell of a lot worse off than we are. There are people who are blind, handicapped, suffer from debilitating diseases, etc. If nothing else, I just thank the good Lord for my health and strength.

We all know that life if not easy--far from it. But that's when you have to deal with all that life throws at you and deal with it the best we can. I have struggled for years with anxiety, insecurity, paranoia, negativity and sadness. I'm not a deeply religious man, but I KNOW that it is only by the grace of God that I made it to 25. I know it's very difficult when you feel no one understands what you're going through or how you feel. Trust me, I know!! But we can't give up. You're life's situations and circumstances will really show what you are made of and how strong you are when trials and hard times hit you hard. Please, be patient and resilient!! Just some words of encouragement

 

[Lea]

I was looking through this thread and I was just disgusted in the worse way with some of the comments that I've read. You have to realize that everyone goes through struggles in their lives. Hell, I've been through many ups and downs in my life including social anxiety. I'm only 25, but sometimes I do wonder will I be able to make it through my life. I sometimes feel like that it's just too much. But I have never, never completely given in into this defeatist mentality. You have to dig deep inside you to find out how strong you are in difficult times. I don't care who you are, we ALL have to search deep inside our souls to find out what we are made of. So, are you gonna have this negative and defeatist attitude or are you gonna see what you're made of? Believe it or not, there are many people who are a hell of a lot worse off than we are. There are people who are blind, handicapped, suffer from debilitating diseases, etc. If nothing else, I just thank the good Lord for my health and strength.

We all know that life if not easy--far from it. But that's when you have to deal with all that life throws at you and deal with it the best we can. I have struggled for years with anxiety, insecurity, paranoia, negativity and sadness. I'm not a deeply religious man, but I KNOW that it is only by the grace of God that I made it to 25. I know it's very difficult when you feel no one understands what you're going through or how you feel. Trust me, I know!! But we can't give up. You're life's situations and circumstances will really show what you are made of and how strong you are when trials and hard times hit you hard. Please, be patient and resilient!! Just some words of encouragement

You didn't explain what about the animals, and what is the purpose of not giving up. I'm not saying I'm giving up myself because I have no other chance, I just don't know what the purpose is. Do you think if you're good, you come to paradise or what else?

 

[redski]

...but I KNOW that it is only by the grace of God that I made it to 25...

Why does it have to be by the grace of God?
Why can't it just be because of all your hard work, perseverance and not quitting?

Kathryn: I know exactly what you are talking about. For me it feels like my "soul" has been poisoned
by all the crap in the world. I think the answers is simple I probably care too much and I am depressed.

 

[boro]

I feel like i know where the OP is coming from to some extent..its all to do with a desire for certainty and an easy explaination for the unansweed questions of our state of mind and the world itself. I was having all these religious thoughts too a little while ago - and im not even very religious - thats what wanting certaintly does to you. Anyway, i just realised theres some questions that woill always remain unanswered and i was able to accept that. Theres no use saying its 'the devil' distorting your thoughts etc. thats just a mental distortion in itself imo.

 

[xxaimsxx]

Because no matter what I do, I'm still a boring, lifeless, untalkative and depressed being. When I try to talk to people, I feel so cold....I just can't socialize. I can't make sense. .

Most of us on here feel like that. When you are depressed and confused and SA takes over you think WAY too much and think of these things your on about.

I'm not sure what to say really because we dont know when the world will end. I had paranoid thoughts when i was a kid it would end tomorrow and hey here we all still are!

take care. x

 

[diesel]

lately ive found myself asking difficult questions like why do i even boter to continue living , why does anything even exist and stuff like this . i dont know any of the answers and i dont ever expect to but i believe that why i keep going even though everything seems to be against me is because something inside me makes me .

to me these are real questions , even though most people will live and die without ever asking any of them ( which i think is quite sad ) i still think they are important .

i feel terribly sad when i see disabled or handicapped people and it makes me angry inside that they have it because they didnt do anything to deserve it . i want to cure them but i cant which makes me feel even worse . is there anyway of stopping this ? it really upsets me and i feel guilty because i cant help or make anyone pay for it , i.e god .

 

[TheManWhoUpholdsHonour]

The best way to deal with these kind of things is with Poise and rationality.

Yes sucombing to a defeatist attitude is a bad one until you pick yourself up.And when you do that you can learn not to be so dependent on people,but still know how.like I said,poise and rationality.Though it mght take a little unrationality to get you out of this.I don't want to be called a troll or labeled as one but although the chriastians here giving you somewhat cold feedback are only helping if your as faithful as them.


I swear,If someone replies with a 'tough love' attitude I'll orally destroy them.

 

[Da Kid]

I have felt the way you described before, trust me. The world can be a cold and difficult place to live in at times, but I find blaming other people (whether real or not) to be a waste, honestly. Like it might feel justifiable to put contempt somewhere in an attempt to make yourself feel better, but in the end you are only putting off the inevitable. Once you face your issues in one form or another and resolve them, blaming god will look stupid. The only person we have to blame for our problems is ourselves, and the only people who make the ground breaking decisions to improve our flaws are ourselves. Religion or not.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

I am a devout Christian, at least I try to be.

I have found that my relationship with Christ has comforted me in my times of turmoil. I do not endorse religion, I endorse crying out to Jesus Christ with a desperate and sincere heart. Doing that has changed my life and helped me immensely.

Many people call God merely a crutch, and to that I say we all NEED a crutch because life will systematically tear us all down. We need to be held up and held together and God will help you do that.

Please don't lose heart. The Bible says that we are in a world that is dominated by wicked and cruel things, and there is a spiritual battle going on. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (ephesians 6:12)

Of course, if you are very familiar with the Bible you will remember Job's plight of losing everything he had, including his health. He was assuredly also very mentally tortured by all this as well. But he never cursed God. He realized that God is not the author of suffering, instead He is the reliever of it.

Remember in the book of Matthew Jesus teaches us that if you are fervent in your dedication to doing the will of God, you will remain strong even in the midst of trials and hardships. Whether that be mental or physical issues, you will be rewarded if you stay strong in your faith to God. Reviewing the Scripture, we read in Matthew 7:24-27.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.
And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.
Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.
The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell--and great was its fall."

So even though we can face some very violent and turbulent times in our life, we will come out still standing strong as long as our foundation is built on the Rock of Jesus Christ. This has held true for me, and it will for everyone who chooses to live in Christ.

Let problems strengthen your faith in God, praise Him THROUGH the storm, don't cast doubt and blame on Him. We are wretched and sinful creatures before God... all of us. We should be begging God for mercy because of our sin against Him, we should not be shaking our fist at Him.