I feel like I have no friends

[PhantomPod]

Yeah, hopefully. It's like I really have no one to talk to and tell my problems to. Instead I just have to post on message boards like this one. Not like it's a bad thing or anything, but still. Even when I am with a group of people, I feel that everything I say falls short. Like just one person will say something and then they're all onto a different topic of conversation for 20 minutes. It's like nothing I say matters to them. I don't know, I just think that I'm nice and I'm a good listener for whenever people tell me their problems, so I can't understand why it seems as though no one is ever willing to listen to what I have to say.

It seems like my mom and dad are my only friends. They seem to be the only ones who listen to me when I tell them things.

 

[cocoon]

No friends. Don't feel the need for them really. Feel terrible if someone asks about my "friends" though, or what I did in the weekend... I always try to change the subject then.

 

[kk2004]

I know

I know how you feel man. I see people walking around with their freinds laughing and joking around and it sux because your all alone but you want company so badly. I look at people on facebook and I see how many friends they have and how many people everyone knows and it just depresses me.

Esp when i see good loking girls, I say to myself that I could never have that, I am so far out of their league. I have SAD, its so hard for me to talk to girls and guys it crazy. So i end up alone. I guess I have to settle for it, but some part of me tells me to keep fighting.

 

[young]

No friends. Don't feel the need for them really. Feel terrible if someone asks about my "friends" though, or what I did in the weekend... I always try to change the subject then.

Having a friend is a great feeling. I have known one of my best friend for 18 years. I'm only 26 now. That's a huge chunk of my life. A good friend is there for you no matter what. You really can only talk to a friend. Unless you have a no holds barred relationship with your family. To me there is just some things i can't talk to them about. Like sex for instance.

 

[coolguy2005]

The question we should ask ourselves is how can we get friends? What can we do to get ourselves into healthy relationships with other people? I"m sure we all have different reasons for having no/few friends, but we must search out for an answer to this problem. We shouldn't complain about having no friends, we should ask ourselves why is it that we can do to make friends. Maybe people don't feel comfortable around us because we look snobby, or too shy...okay so how do we change that. Maybe we need to smile more(there was a post dicussion on that one yesterday), maybe we need to stand tall and change the tone of our voice. Maybe we need to learn a few jokes or two, and read the gossip section, for instance, so we have something to talk about with friends. Maybe these are just not our friends and they're not meant to be our friends. Real friends will connect with you, but it's up to us to be proactive and make ourselves as socially friendly if we are to make friends. It's a challange that I believe is attainable with persistance and effort. And it's better to have one good friend than to have many meaningful friends. We must be proactive, search for how we can make more friends. Or maybe we just don't want friends. For example, I don't want friends, not because of my social anxiety, but because I enjoy spending time with my family and my on-line community(you guys). I choose that decision. Think about it. Maybe deep inside you really dont' want friends and YOU are self-sufficient.

 

[Jeannie21]

I know how you feel... like no one cares about what you are saying. It is too bad that us shy and sensitive people who have so many interesting things to say often aren't able to get our ideas across.

Sometimes if I have something great to say in a group of more than 2 people, I start saying it... but then I start feeling self concious so I back out of it and never get my ideas across fully. An outgoing person would persist until they are fully understood. We have to learn to say things with conviction. If we speak in a confident way (like we know that what we have to say is important), I think that people will receive our ideas better.

Also, I think that people like us have to look for friends who are also sensitive (not necessarily shy)...but people who are patient enough to give us a chance to get our ideas across. They are hard to find but when you find one, hopefully they will be someone who you aren't afraid of telling anything to.

 

[coolguy2005]

The question we should ask ourselves is how can we get friends? What can we do to get ourselves into healthy relationships with other people? I"m sure we all have different reasons for having no/few friends, but we must search out for an answer to this problem. We shouldn't complain about having no friends, we should ask ourselves why is it that we can do to make friends. Maybe people don't feel comfortable around us because we look snobby, or too shy...okay so how do we change that. Maybe we need to smile more(there was a post dicussion on that one yesterday), maybe we need to stand tall and change the tone of our voice. Maybe we need to learn a few jokes or two, and read the gossip section, for instance, so we have something to talk about with friends. Maybe these are just not our friends and they're not meant to be our friends. Real friends will connect with you, but it's up to us to be proactive and make ourselves as socially friendly if we are to make friends. It's a challange that I believe is attainable with persistance and effort. And it's better to have one good friend than to have many meaningful friends. We must be proactive, search for how we can make more friends. Or maybe we just don't want friends. For example, I don't want friends, not because of my social anxiety, but because I enjoy spending time with my family and my on-line community(you guys). I choose that decision. Think about it. Maybe deep inside you really dont' want friends and YOU are self-sufficient.

 

[Quiki]

Hi! Im new here.
So I have notice that im not the only one who has no "real" friends.
In school I have like "school" friends, we talk, we laugh and we do some work together, but outside the school there is no connection.
In waterpolo practice I have "waterpolo" friends, we play waterpolo together and I talk sometimes with them , but I hardly get invited somewhere.
Once I was in town on saturday night and I finally call my "waterpolo" friend and he was very nice and he invited me immediately to a bar and to the club.
But becouse I have SA I was makeing excuses why I cant come, but he talkt to me and finally I sayd, yes! I will come.
I had very nice saturday night and I came to home at 03.00AM and I was very happy,
but in the club I just could talk to nobody except to "waterpolo" friends and that what makes me sad/angry.

Sorry for my english, im from Europe : 8)

 

[Angie_05]

I feel like I have very few people I can really talk to also. My boyfriend is my best friend, but other than that I feel very alone. I have a few acquaintences, but I wish I could find people locally that are like the people on this forum. I think we would get along great. But of course, all other SP's are hiding like me...lol.

I think I might be figuring some things out though. Like how to speak up. I have started joining in on little discussions that occur before class. You know when a small group of people is discussing something that's not too personal and I just kinda say something from across the room. I tell myself, "I know this isn't normal for me to interject, but you will never gain people's respect if you sit quietly in a corner. It would be better to sound stupid than to look scared."

I feel this is really helping. If people are debating some hot topic, I just jump right in. They don't have to agree with me, and they don't have to immediatley want to be my friend. I'm just giving myself permission to be a normal person, but also to not be perfect.

 

[Richey]

I just find it difficult talking to people.
Its always awkward and i find it difficult to focus in class at University!!
Especially around huge egos!!!
I'm feeling realy horrible this week!!
My Dad keeps telling me how im the most fkd up person he's ever met.
This is over things like not finishing my chores before 5 Oclock.
He is very controlling. I can't wait to move out.

One on One im fine. But in a large group i just find it a struggle to say anything interesting!!

 

[black_mamba]

... just try to be open to anyone who tries to make friends with you. One day someone will come along who you feel comfortable with...

This is exactly my mantra. I try and be open and talkative (hard work!) with everyone who shows even a microscopic amount of interest in me. But so far I've only met 1 amazing friend in 3 years this way. So although it works to an extent, actually being the pro-active one and seeking out people or initiating conversation will definitely pay of better.

Think about it. Maybe deep inside you really dont' want friends and YOU are self-sufficient.

Yep I have this contradiction in my head; that I want some friends yet I'm happy being alone, and sometimes social company annoys me, so really why do I have the desire for friends? It's all crap. I don't need a huge gang of groupies, and having lots of friends can have it's own problems too...

*happy being a loner*

 

[Chilling__Echo]

i thinik it's easy to look at those people who do have alot of friends and they seem so happy and forget that we're happy being by ourselves.

however despite what i've thought for literally years, i do need to have that reassurance in my mind that i have someone i can call and cry to if i need too. then i like to be alone. it's weird. but i'm working on it...