I don't have much to say...

[bsammy]

to start this off i have to say i have good social skills so im able to talk to people just fine but the problem begins when i start to hang out with people more often..i find that i can hang just fine when it comes to talking about the news or current topics but when it comes to social lives and life experiences, im dead in the water..i have a few hobbies but they arent really interesting enough to talk about but i have very little if any social life..i never go on vacation or travel or really do much of anything so this leaves me feeling like an outsider..i have no kids either and 98% of people my age do so...i dont know, i feel this is a problem for me when it comes to friendships and relationships..if i see someone more than once a week i really have nothing much to say really..sure, i can keep asking them questions about their life and family but that gets old very fast ...so im not sure what to do about this?it just leads to further isolation..

even at work i find myself just sinking sometimes because i dont have much to offer in terms of being social..

does anyone know aht im talking about?in the same position?

 

[SeniorRedrings]

Yes,I do.
I want to,need to,find someone i can talk with about absolutely anything...teabags,carpets vs rugs,butterflies or bugs....free constant flow of mouth tennis,not rooting around in my topics bag for pertinent or topical chat nuggets.
Someone who gives you the freedom to be the devils advocate,who thrills you when they play the same role,a passion that thrives on any and all opinion.Not someone who has carefully crafted a side of an argument to suit their temper.
I want to share the challenge of seeing the world as it might be if it really was that way in knowing participation with someone,not constantly check myself from committing social suicide with a wrong word to a pedant,or a wrong way to present an idea to an ideological guard dog.
Basically to say anything for the sake of exploring the contents of our words and the motivations behind our statements while avoiding the perceived intent of declaring an allegiance to any though orhtodoxy ro subscribing to any level of moral stance from degraded babblings to the point perfect presentation that encapsulates the morally airtight assertion.
There are too many fraught and serious two bit debates from which to learn absolutely nothing at all from.This can happen mostly in everyday chat,between puffed up amateurs intent on wounding each other for their respective viewpoints.

 

[Blabla..]

well , i stopped socializing with people because socializing is , being an entertainer , being fun and pleasant , i just have nothing to say in general so i just avoid people , they talk talk talk and expect the same thing in return , i could sit and listen to them all day long but it would be kinda boring for them , so to make it simple i just avoid people . i used to talk alot too and had alot of friends , but i guess i grew tired of it , i changed alot and now i like being by myself so it aint that bad . I still enjoy talking with someone who has alot in common with me , but this doesn't happen very often

 

[Aletheia]

free constant flow of mouth tennis

I've been there, where we'd throw up ideas just to watch them sparkle.

But even with them, even with them, the rot sets in. I'm so fearful of hurting their feelings or exposing my own. The effort of walking on eggshells wears me out. And I end up with... not much to say.

 

[Graeme1988]

well , i stopped socializing with people because socializing is , being an entertainer , being fun and pleasant , i just have nothing to say in general so i just avoid people , they talk talk talk and expect the same thing in return , i could sit and listen to them all day long but it would be kinda boring for them , so to make it simple i just avoid people . i used to talk alot too and had alot of friends , but i guess i grew tired of it , i changed alot and now i like being by myself so it aint that bad . I still enjoy talking with someone who has alot in common with me , but this doesn't happen very often

^This pretty much sums up how I feel as well.

 

[bsammy]

^^i agree, when socializing it is a game of back and forth, you must maintain some humor and wit or have something interesting to say once in awhile or else you will drown..many people have told me 'just be yourself' when socializing, dont put on a 'funny guy' act..the problem with this advice is, if i be myself i would just stand there and listen to what someone had to say for a few minutes, then say 'bye' and im out of there..that would not be a good way to possibly broaden my social network or meet new people in the future..on the other hand if i put on a front when socializing(as in acting very engaged/energetic), i find it very exhausting..so i think its a 'damned if you, damned if you dont' situation..

even people i really click with i seldom find much reason to talk to them as i dont have much to say...i have found most people can go on and on about little things they do during the day but i cant, i dont see the point as no one is really interested..i cant believe extroverts/normals really believe people are that interested in the smallest details of their lives..i just shake my head at this..but this just leads to me further feeling different from most people.