I cried! How to stop this??

Feathers

Well-known member
How do you deal with this?

I don't want to cry in front of people, and sometimes it's just even not a big deal-?? (I mean they may not mean to do or say anything mean or such.. Just if they talk in a certain way!! And/or about certain things..)

I don't want to cry in front of people!!

If they seem unfriendly or hostile, or talk in a specific way - I cry!
VERY embarassing!!

It's because my Dad would go into 'hostile mode' and crying actually stops him. He used to be a bit violent or just believed in 'firm discipline' ::(: that is physical punishment (it was quite unpredictable) when I was a little kid.
So it's sort of 'self preservation' but wrongly edited! ::(: And applied even when unnecessary!!

I think I also probably have eaten too much sugary/junk food stuff (pizza, ice-cream, sweet juice...) that sorta usually has given me mood swings..
And have some PMS/PMDD - though I felt great the rest of the day mostly!
(Though it was a bit stressful too, parts of it..)

How to stop this??
 
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Feathers

Well-known member
How to stop crying in front of people?

Oh gosh! I also had coffee in the morning (which I usually don't) and a job interview and didn't eat enough I guess, and not enough proteins and healthy minerals.. (I followed my own advice any finally went on fitday.com again) no wonders!!
And there was a storm just now - I usually have felt crummy before storms too.. so, there may have been some explanations..

Eat healthier next time?

(Yeah, I can joke on the forums and in RL too :D I still think this is a most annoying 'bad habit'!!) Maybe like blushing, cause it's unwanted. But more problematic in certain contexts! would the same 'treatment' help? (How does one get treated for that, hmm??)

I'd really appreciate any tips on how to psychologically deal with this too!!

Have you ever had any problems with crying in front of people? How did you stop doing it or make it easier? Any tips or wise words?
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Ahhh I've been there. I cry often when my mom makes me feel unwanted. It didn't used to stop her though, only fuel her. Uhhm... lucky for me I guess, cutting out milk/lactose and wheat/gluten has stopped that, I learned that was the cause of my 'bipolar' and overly emotional states. Food DOES make a difference!!! I agree..

psychologically I need help too so i'm not much use in helping you =[ I don't understand others, hostility, anger, a general unwanted vibe or roll of the eyes ,I just don't get it and it sets me off.. I'd just say to find healthy people who have no reason to be angry at others, because of course once you are happy with yourself and there are no reasons to be angry at others because there aren't any flaws to see in them and yourself. Of course all miserable people cannot be avoided.Yeah.. i'm not actually helpful with this post.
 

Aussie_Lad

Well-known member
What is the level of cying that you are trying to stop? Is it weeping, or is it just the eye's watering up, or is it somewhere in between? Sometimes you can hide tears underneath sunglasses. If you are outside then that is completely normal, if you are inside, then you can use the excuse that the lights are too bright for you.
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Thanks guys, I really appreciate it! :)

It's usually inside, I think. (Outside wind could be blamed, yeah. I don't usually wear sunglasses, though I actually did this once! :D) I never thought of using this as a possible strategy! Cool! Thanks!

Actually, it's more of a heart-crying, sobbing, full-scale crying if it doesn't stop (the verbal attacks or loud animated words that can be perceived as such, or just a feeling of great injustice or remembering something awful/painful..)

The glitch in the eye can be sort of ignored, or one can lower the head/write something/turn away.. (In the past I could sometimes also make an excuse and step out if it's possible, if it's still in the VERY initial stages. Later that becomes impossible, to ask people in a very normal tone, especially if you don't know where the toilet is?? Maybe good strategy: always know where the toilet is-?? Ask first, before you fall on the floor sobbing & crying.. Okay, exaggerating here now.. :D)

If the persons don't perceive it and don't stop, it gets worse, like my body naturally responds..
Oddly enough, some people get better then, and kinder than they were ever in the first place..
Some people just get worse, yeah. Not sure how to deal with those. (Especially if your presence is required or something.) And even if they get kind-er, it's not really very professional or such, sigh!! And what to do later, when you encounter them (or others who witnessed it?) Ahh the embarassement!!

The good thing is I can usually perceive feelings of others quite well, I saw a tear in someone's eye the other day (she was spooked by some news that no one had told her before) and I made sure to reassure her and helped her with the problem.. She was very happy then..
(The best thing is to never mention it and just sort of randomly brush it over.. Just try to make that person feel better and adjust the tone of voice etc if needed..)

EscapeArtist, your post was VERY helpful!
I think I ate way too much gluten and sugar-y stuff in the last few days, I really need to stay away... And it was also stressful, and PMS. And pre-storm.

I'm getting tested for celiac in near future (when I gather some info and set an appointment with a specialist doctor.) So we'll see if it's a real allergy or celiac or something else... (and further research it if necessary)
I'm very happy that cutting out milk/lactose and wheat/gluten has stopped it for you!!

I hope someone who has troubles with blushing and recovered from it posts too :) Orelse I'll need to research that forum too, hmm..
 
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Feathers

Well-known member
Well, after lots of whining on this forum (that I'll probably erase tomorrow cause of feeling embarassed! :D) I finally - Googled it! 'crying career advice'

And surprisingly, while most 'advice columnists' severely do not recommend it! (unless carefully studied and premeditated - duh??) And one article said that it might be okay if perceived as genuine-? (?)
I was happy to read in Marie Claire that sometimes, depending on the employers or mentors, it might be okay :) Crying at Work - Female Career Advice - Marie Claire (big relief!)

One person said it made her realize she was not for Corporate America and she started her own biz. (How not to cry in front of clients though? hmm! Is it a success for her? Well, she can always get new clients I guess, or step outside in peace! :))
One also reports she has a most awesome boss who said 'it shows you care' (truly it does, most often) and encourages employees nevertheless.. Wow...

Mostly it seems that it's better to step outside and calm down when you feel something coming on, as 'glazed' eyes can be seen as 'okay'.. hmm..
 
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Hey , It's not a bad thing if you cry easily! You are just emotional person, that's not a bad thing! I'm too :), And I cry too, because my parents can be like that too.
And I'm very bipolar, I feel different every second of the day , so i know what it is like :(
Enjoy the good moments, and good feelings you have :D
xx Flowergirlie
 
You can try working out in your free time... I'm not sure why exactly, but in my own experience, it helps a lot. Hope you feel better Feathers...
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Thank you guys! :)

Yeah, I think working out might help too.. couldn't seem to find inspiration and motivation these days..

I was better inbetween and felt braver today... :)

Crying - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (at least today was not in public.. I was on the phone, and then just ended the call.. they were mostly unhelpful and only partially helpful and I was frustrated, sigh.. At least I was brave to call, had been putting it off for ages.. now I sort of know what the situation is, sigh.. Maybe the weather had something to do with it too?)

this is very helpful too: Why we cry - www.theage.com.au
And at least I don't have emphysema-? http://familymatters.vision.org/FamilyMatters/bid/35943/It-s-No-Party-but-I-ll-Cry-if-I-Want-To - I hope??
 
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