I am sick of this... routine

SilentStranger

Well-known member
No not SP exactly. Well I wish I didn't have it... but thats not what i mean.

When I look back at the last few years...It almost seem like I have wasted them. My life seem to revolve around my boring job. All I have done is react to stress from work. I haven't really progressed my life at all. Same car, same crappy apartment. Living in a place I don't consider home.

But I suppose what bothers me most is that have no prospects of a forming a relationship here and don't even really have friends that I am close to. I mean I have tried to socialise with people at work, but most seem so different. I cannot operate or expect to 'compete' on their level... if you know what I mean.

At times, increasingly, I feel like giving it all up and try to look for another job & move or even... do some travel.

Does anybody else have these feelings of I suppose ... I don't know.. melancholy? But also feelings of that they must get out of current circumstances?

I don't know if this feeling is the 'flight' response & hence I should resist or if a change will do me real good. I suppose the worry is if it will be worse.. especially the new job and at the same time there will be no real gain in other aspects of my life.


-SS
 

the_paradox

Member
Yeah, I kinda have that problem too... except I don't have a job :lol:
It kinda feels like every day I'm just sitting around waiting for a miracle to come and save me from the same monotonous whirlwind of daydreaming and depression every fucking day. It would be great to be able to break the cycle, I am trying. One session of CBT a week, I am told this is very effective.
Perhaps trying everything in your power to improve your living conditions where you are would be best before you do something that could land you in an even worse situation. Find a professional who understands your situation, keep taking meds... kick and fight it until you've exhausted every single option. I think your melancholy is linked very closely with the SP and once you sort that, you will find something or someone worth sticking around for. At least that's how I see things, but I don't know your exact situation so I may just be talking the talk but still, just try.
 

SilentStranger

Well-known member
I did some group sessions... I suppose you could call it CBT. That did help me. I wish at times I could attend group sessions again, but I don't think there is anything here in this state. In fact there are very few Pdocs here and I didn't really like the last one that I visited.

You see I had to move to a smaller city interstate for my job. Away from my family and people I know. My thinking is that in the bigger city, I will be able find ppl who are more like me (I don't mean just SPics) and services to support SPics and a job that is more interesting. Besides this job is increasingly eating into my free time and I have been taking less leave. So I thought if I am changing the job, might as well move back too.

I suppose the fear is I get a bad job (a one that I can't cope with) or even worse I fall in the malaise that I was in between uni and before starting this job. You know living at my parent's place, doing a part time job or no job and like you said hoping for a miracle to happen.

I think (well I hope) I will not move without a clear plan... both in terms of a job and other aspects of my life.

-SS
 

recluse

Well-known member
I have a job, and i have enough money but that's becuase i live at home, there's no way i could afford to have my own place and it sucks! I'm 26 and i have never moved away form home.
 

the_paradox

Member
Yes, moving back to the bigger city does seem like the better choice when put in context. While it is still a bit of a gamble, at least you will have supportive people behind you all the way. I don't think that this is the flight response at all, you are in a bad situation without the resources to help you move forward. Best of luck with your decision
 
SilentStranger said:
No not SP exactly. Well I wish I didn't have it... but thats not what i mean.

When I look back at the last few years...It almost seem like I have wasted them. My life seem to revolve around my boring job. All I have done is react to stress from work. I haven't really progressed my life at all. Same car, same crappy apartment. Living in a place I don't consider home.

But I suppose what bothers me most is that have no prospects of a forming a relationship here and don't even really have friends that I am close to. I mean I have tried to socialise with people at work, but most seem so different. I cannot operate or expect to 'compete' on their level... if you know what I mean.

At times, increasingly, I feel like giving it all up and try to look for another job & move or even... do some travel.

Does anybody else have these feelings of I suppose ... I don't know.. melancholy? But also feelings of that they must get out of current circumstances?

I don't know if this feeling is the 'flight' response & hence I should resist or if a change will do me real good. I suppose the worry is if it will be worse.. especially the new job and at the same time there will be no real gain in other aspects of my life.


-SS

I can totally relate to this.

My everyday life has become so routine. I don't leave the house (and even if I do, it's for a 20 minute walk around the lake) and the only things I do in my life are clean up, watch the television and sit at the computer desk.

I've recently been making plans to move to London by next September in the hopes that maybe it will help me to socialise with people a lot more and force me to 'get over' the problems I have.
 
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