racheH
Well-known member
I thought seeing as some people here are recovered, someone might have some experience with this kind of problem:
I've been in a form at school with pretty much the same group of kids for four years and I'll start the fifth year tommorrow. Most of them know me to be a silent, disinterested, socially inept robot-girl with no knowledge or understanding of when she's being picked on. Now I understand myself properly I'm thinking that soon I won't be able to hide behind that image if I conciously try. The trouble is, though, as much as I want to show them the person my family see, they won't understand why I would suddenly change so much.
Saying I've had mental disorders will make them think I'm either even wierder than they thought or lying and faking a new personality to get noticed. Saying 'I don't REALLY have a bad personality I've just been tricking you because I was terrified of you but now I'm not so I can be normal' won't go down well either.
It's not that I still need them to accept me to feel worth anything (although when I get there and see their faces containing all the bad memories I may be humming a different tune). It's just that I've got at least two more years with these people and at least recluses generally just get ignored. If they think I'm a faker they'll think I deserve all the snipes and pranks they can throw at me, and it would be nice to have some friends to eat with at lunch, if not for my self-esteem anymore, then for someone to talk to.
Could anyone offer any advice on how to convince them of the real me?How can I explain SAD and APD to them in terms they'll understand? Verbalising the emotions I get from them makes it sound ridiculous even to me, but I at least know I'm not making it up or using something I've found on the Internet as an excuse for being unfriendly. (I've run through some nasty scenarios in my head about this, and I'm convinced they'll think one or the other.)
I thought of 'introducing' parts of me gradually, but they've thought they've known me for four years, so they'll notice that too.
Could anyone help me please or share some experience?
Apologies for the long post.
I've been in a form at school with pretty much the same group of kids for four years and I'll start the fifth year tommorrow. Most of them know me to be a silent, disinterested, socially inept robot-girl with no knowledge or understanding of when she's being picked on. Now I understand myself properly I'm thinking that soon I won't be able to hide behind that image if I conciously try. The trouble is, though, as much as I want to show them the person my family see, they won't understand why I would suddenly change so much.
Saying I've had mental disorders will make them think I'm either even wierder than they thought or lying and faking a new personality to get noticed. Saying 'I don't REALLY have a bad personality I've just been tricking you because I was terrified of you but now I'm not so I can be normal' won't go down well either.
It's not that I still need them to accept me to feel worth anything (although when I get there and see their faces containing all the bad memories I may be humming a different tune). It's just that I've got at least two more years with these people and at least recluses generally just get ignored. If they think I'm a faker they'll think I deserve all the snipes and pranks they can throw at me, and it would be nice to have some friends to eat with at lunch, if not for my self-esteem anymore, then for someone to talk to.
Could anyone offer any advice on how to convince them of the real me?How can I explain SAD and APD to them in terms they'll understand? Verbalising the emotions I get from them makes it sound ridiculous even to me, but I at least know I'm not making it up or using something I've found on the Internet as an excuse for being unfriendly. (I've run through some nasty scenarios in my head about this, and I'm convinced they'll think one or the other.)
I thought of 'introducing' parts of me gradually, but they've thought they've known me for four years, so they'll notice that too.
Could anyone help me please or share some experience?
Apologies for the long post.