How many real friends do you have?

Etbow23

Well-known member
#1
Not like acquaintances that you talk to at work or school but people you actually have the phone numbers of, etc.

I realized today after this other girl dipped out on me my only real friend is my boyfriend, and that made me feel pretty lonely. I mean, I talk to other people at my job and stuff, but I don't have any of their phone numbers or anything.

And also today I really started missing my mom's deceased boyfriend who was a really close friend of mine for a short but very memorable time. It's weird, I didn't even know him long, but now, a year and a half after he passed, I still cry when I think about him and how much I wish I could call him and talk to him. He was like the father I never had :( The worst part was I never got to say goodbye because he lived in Texas and we live in Maryland. The last time I saw him was like two or three months before he died.

Anyways, I thought I'd post on here because right now I'm really missing him and feeling kind of like a loser because of the other situation. I'm wondering if anyone else ever feels this way.

Not only that but I feel ashamed just writing that I have no real friends besides my boyfriend. I mean, if people everyday knew that, what would they think of me? Because it's weird, I say hi to people at my job and talk to people who I get along with, but we don't associate on the outside really.
 
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MikeyC

Well-known member
#2
Sorry to hear about your mother's boyfriend. Sounds like he was a real catch and it's unfortunate that happened. ::(:

I would say 3. John, Blake, Pete. Everyone else, it seems, I know either through them. I know people from work and I do text others but none of them seem to want to hang out with me. Those three are the exception, especially John. Honestly, if John didn't want to hang out with me anymore I'd be a complete loner 85% of the time.
 

Iluv

Well-known member
#3
I have friends but my guess is hardly any of them are 'real'. They will say they are my friends but will abandon me at any time for their benefit.
I would say about 4 people would stick by my side. My boyfriend & 3 of my closest friends. Wish I could say more.
 

9407

Well-known member
#5
Only 1. and barely that. I haven't talked to him since June but he recently called me last week and said he will try to stay in touch. I don't really believe him, though. I have one acquaintance at school but because he's also shy and the fact that he lives half way across the city, I don't think I'll ever talk to him again when I graduate.
 
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PhantomPod

Well-known member
#7
Sorry to hear about your loss. It's nice that you do have a boyfriend who will be there for you. Does he have many friends or do you ever hang out with his friends?

I have exactly zero real friends. I actually don't even have any kinda sorta friends. I do have acquaintances who I talk to at work, but the closest thing we do outside of work is play Words With Friends on our iPhones with each other.

I pretty much just have my mom and my dad who I can rely on and who will always be there for me. I have an older brother and he'll be there for me when it's convenient for him.
 
#8
I think you would be surprised at just how lonely people can get despite being surrounded by other people. When it comes down to it...every single one of us is alone. We are born alone, we die alone, and we live out our lives in a very unique and individual way...and thats because no other person will experience the exact same things as you do.

Feeling lonely doesnt make you a loser. It makes you a human being....and lets face it, finding true friends... isnt the easiest feat, even for the most socially gifted.

I have one friend, but she has a boyfriend now....so you know...not needed anymore and all that jazz. But I am used to being by myself anyway.
 

Etbow23

Well-known member
#9
Sorry to hear about your mother's boyfriend. Sounds like he was a real catch and it's unfortunate that happened. ::(:
Thanks :) yeah he was a good person...we had a lot of the same interests. He had a doctorate in English and me being a writer, I used to send him things to edit, and he'd spend a lot of time editing and giving me advice.

Sorry to hear about your loss. It's nice that you do have a boyfriend who will be there for you. Does he have many friends or do you ever hang out with his friends?

I have exactly zero real friends. I actually don't even have any kinda sorta friends. I do have acquaintances who I talk to at work, but the closest thing we do outside of work is play Words With Friends on our iPhones with each other.

I pretty much just have my mom and my dad who I can rely on and who will always be there for me. I have an older brother and he'll be there for me when it's convenient for him.
My boyfriend, though he may have some acquaintances and maybe one friend he talks to, is kind of like me in that I'm pretty much his only close friend. He had friends when we first met that I didn't like, but he stopped hanging out with them. And like you said about your brother--ha ha, yeah sometimes my sister can be there when it's convenient for her...but she's always the one to get off the phone first if you know what I mean.


I think you would be surprised at just how lonely people can get despite being surrounded by other people. When it comes down to it...every single one of us is alone. We are born alone, we die alone, and we live out our lives in a very unique and individual way...and thats because no other person will experience the exact same things as you do.
I remember in my favorite book White Oleander the narrator was saying how she was tired of being surrounded my people and yet being so alone and she was like whats the point? To this day, that book still influences me. I couldnt help but think of it when you made that point.
 
#10
well i've had a few friends here and there. But after recently moving to another city, i feel like i only have 1-2 friends. Just friends. Sometimes i wish i have 2-3 good friends that i can always rely on and chill with when i'm bored.
 
#11
I have more or less 6 good and real friends...half of them live abroad and i only see them once a year when they visit. The problem is i feel like i am COMPLETELY diffrent from all of them and i don't like to mix with their friends. They all know about my SA and always make their best efford not to put me in uncomfortable situations...My uncontrolable feeling of being too diffrent to everybody makes it hard for me to make new friends and keep old ones...
 

NP88

Well-known member
#12
I tend to push everyone away, far away, so far away that they wont remember my name. This is how I am, this is my failure in life.
 

Invisibleman

Well-known member
#13
I have a group of 4 guys that I hang out with at school but thats about it. They are great guys but seeing as we dont have much in common I feel so lonely when we're hanging out. I just kind of sit awkwardly as they discuss the latest happenings in various online games that they play which I have no part in.

They do make me feel better though,we do have collective laughs that make me feel like part of the group. However, I would love to hang out with them outside of school seeing that they all do with each other but im never invited to anything they do.It seems they dont reciprocate my interest::(:
 

SilverSky

Active member
#14
I've lived almost 3,000 miles from my family for 3 years now...and still don't have friends here. I'd get ambitious some days trying to "change" and better myself and seek out other people to hang out with...but then the day I was supposed to hang out I'd get a panic attack or get physically sick to my stomach thinking of meeting someone new and I'd cancel. So it's just me.

I have maybe 2 friends in life....one lives 5 hours away, the other lives in another country (we grew up together but she moved away). I talk to them on the internet now...but I'm alone in real life. There isn't anyone to call to hang out or to come talk to me. It's weird because my 2 friends love me, they think I'm funny and sweet and appreciate that I listen more than I talk, that I care about them. But they've known me for years and years, I don't know how to meet someone new and show them who I really am because my lack of social skills gets in the way. So new people think I'm 1) a giant biotch for being quiet, they think I'm just snobby. or 2) think I'm weird and flaky.

For those of you with close friends, how did you meet them? How do you go out with them and make plans? I feel like it's so hard to do these things.
 

lonely_drummer

Well-known member
#15
i know a lot of acquaintances, you know friends of friends of friends. My only friends are some of my roommates/bandmates, eric, sean and sarah. they're really good friends, and they have a lot of their own friends who i see a lot but aren't my friends, they're just people i kinda know
 

Moa

Well-known member
#16
I'm so sorry for your loss. How long ago did you lose him?

My situation is a lot like yours... I have a boyfriend, but no real friends. I have a lot of acquaintances (and I have so many phone numbers saved!) but I can't ever seem to get close to them.
 
#17
I tend to push everyone away, far away, so far away that they wont remember my name. This is how I am, this is my failure in life.
Same here. Got to have them near for about 6 years of depression. So is just like a miracle they were for so long. Although some of them still call me time to time, nowadays is just to know if i'm alive!
 

Etbow23

Well-known member
#19
I'm so sorry for your loss. How long ago did you lose him?

My situation is a lot like yours... I have a boyfriend, but no real friends. I have a lot of acquaintances (and I have so many phone numbers saved!) but I can't ever seem to get close to them.
It was like a year and a half ago now...I feel almost silly for still missing him after this long but he really made an impression on me.

I've lived almost 3,000 miles from my family for 3 years now...and still don't have friends here. I'd get ambitious some days trying to "change" and better myself and seek out other people to hang out with...but then the day I was supposed to hang out I'd get a panic attack or get physically sick to my stomach thinking of meeting someone new and I'd cancel. So it's just me.

I have maybe 2 friends in life....one lives 5 hours away, the other lives in another country (we grew up together but she moved away). I talk to them on the internet now...but I'm alone in real life. There isn't anyone to call to hang out or to come talk to me. It's weird because my 2 friends love me, they think I'm funny and sweet and appreciate that I listen more than I talk, that I care about them. But they've known me for years and years, I don't know how to meet someone new and show them who I really am because my lack of social skills gets in the way. So new people think I'm 1) a giant biotch for being quiet, they think I'm just snobby. or 2) think I'm weird and flaky.

For those of you with close friends, how did you meet them? How do you go out with them and make plans? I feel like it's so hard to do these things.
I feel like it's hard too because I just don't fit with so many people.
 
#20
I'd say that I have 2 real, true friends. One of them I've known my entire life(literally) and I guess you could say that we were somewhat forced into friendship because our parents were BFFs, though we were the ones that maintained our friendship until now(17 years later). Funny, our parents don't even talk anymore. We don't really see each other because he lives kinda far away, and well, I have social anxiety. It's pretty hard. But I do consider him a true friend. It sounds totally weird, but we have a connection.

Anyway, my other friend is someone I don't see often either, but we text each other everyday(pretty much) and I really can tell her anything. She's just the nicest girl and we're into the same stuff and I feel like she's my best friend.

That's about it.
 
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