How do I stop being so uh hypersensitive?

Srijita52

Well-known member
I don't know if its the correct term. I'm just getting sick of people telling me all the time that I need to stop being so sensitive and the worst thing is I know its true! I'm super sensitive even to the slightest criticism even when I know its abosolutely irrelevant. It can ruin my entire day or maybe I can end up being depressed for a week or so. Sometimes people don't even have to say anything..if I just *assume* someone maybe criticizing me *in their head* I can end up getting a little hurt. Everyone around me is always saying how I need to stop feeling like this but the thing is I don't know How. How exactly should I stop being over sensitive? Help?
 

Starry

Well-known member
I'm exactly the same, so not sure if I can offer any help... But maybe we both need to focus more on the fact that what others think of us really doesn't matter all that much; as long as we are happy with ourselves that is what counts. You are a lovely, caring person and have a lot you should be happy with yourself about. Always remember, that as long as you're doing your best to be a good, decent person others' criticisms do not matter, especially if they are trivial. If everyone who is overly sensitive tries to remember that, then maybe it will help, with time.
 

planemo

Well-known member
Maybe our sensitivity has a lot to do with the fact that we have so little confidence in ourselves, and we never seem to trust ourselves and our judgements. Perhaps then we take on the idea of expecting everything we do to be wrong and flawed because we deep down feel that it is. When others supposedly confirm this, then we break down feeling we can't do anything right.

I think people who don't care about what others think of them have a realistic and positive way of thinking about themselves and their abilities. Thus they don't see criticism as a conformation of them being totally flawed and incapable of doing anything right.

If we can trust ourselves and value our abilities and decision makings I think our sensitivity will be less.

I agree with Starry, Srijita you're a lovely, caring person and you need to see the all the good things that are there just by being yourself. :)
 
Generally, most people with SA i think have a fair degree of hypersensitivity - and that's genetic i believe, so that can't be changed. So all one can do i guess, is to be your own "thought police", or in other words to be more "self-assertive" whenever these (irrational) thoughts occur. For instance, if you're aware that some line of thought is "no good" for you, then maybe tell it to 'shut up!' or 'stop!' (or 'i reject these thoughts'). Another term for it might be "mental initiative". We need to get into the habit more of immediately removing these negative/irrational/self-critical thoughts, replacing them with the opposite (positive, self-affirming, supportive).
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
^Agreed, its just sometimes its hard to tell my mind to shut up but I definitely need to try doing this.
Maybe our sensitivity has a lot to do with the fact that we have so little confidence in ourselves, and we never seem to trust ourselves and our judgements. Perhaps then we take on the idea of expecting everything we do to be wrong and flawed because we deep down feel that it is. When others supposedly confirm this, then we break down feeling we can't do anything right.

I think people who don't care about what others think of them have a realistic and positive way of thinking about themselves and their abilities. Thus they don't see criticism as a conformation of them being totally flawed and incapable of doing anything right.

If we can trust ourselves and value our abilities and decision makings I think our sensitivity will be less.

I agree with Starry, Srijita you're a lovely, caring person and you need to see the all the good things that are there just by being yourself. :)

I agree with this, maybe its one of the reasons of having SA in the first place.
Thanks Starry and planemo, you both are very lovely persons yourselves.
 

Lamb

Well-known member
Join the club, hehe. I brought this to the attention of my therapist and I don't really know what she has in store to fix this. I think (for me) it also stems from a lack of assertiveness and defense mechanisms. It's so easy for me to feel slighted.

For now, have a hug. *hug*
 

laure15

Well-known member
I can relate. I am sensitive to people's criticisms about me and I try to ignore them. But I've been in some really tough situations where I can't ignore people's criticisms. Several years ago, I had practically the whole class hate/dislike me. It started when several individuals didn't like me and tried to turn everyone against me, and guess what, they succeeded for the most part. Everyday when I go into that class, it feels like almost everyone is avoiding me and/or looking at me like a freak. And it's not just this class, it's also other classes where I was pretty much disliked by many classmates.

It's tough when so many people dislike you or look down upon you. Their criticisms matter, and no matter what I do or what I say, it made no difference.
 

FallenFeathers

Well-known member
Easier said than done, but I think the answer could be in learning to value your own view of yourself, more than other peoples perceptions of you.

The bitch in that excuse my language is we are so self critical ourselves.. hence why we take other peoples cpmments so bad. But I really think working on your own self image is the key to this illness, but it's a long road.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Join the club, hehe. I brought this to the attention of my therapist and I don't really know what she has in store to fix this. I think (for me) it also stems from a lack of assertiveness and defense mechanisms. It's so easy for me to feel slighted.

For now, have a hug. *hug*
Thank you, I needed this right now. *hugs you back*
 

Scrobes

Well-known member
I think I am in a similar position. Not sure how strong, maybe a bit less. I don't know what to suggest, sorry. :( My solution is just not be around anyone (and I mean that's what I did, I am not suggesting this). But it's like, I don't want to be around people and to have them wear gloves while dealing with me, because then that makes me feel bad if they're having to adjust their behavior for me. So I extract myself from the situation or potential situations to keep it simple/safe.

I got a txt from a colleague last night about something, and it "sounded" a bit like it was a dig at me. It's someone I've been working with for years and years, so I had to convince myself that they were just stating something matter of factly and not specifically in an accusatory manner. Even now though I'm still not sure hehe.
 
Last edited:

PseudoLoneWolf

Active member
Once you convince yourself that there is nothing wrong with you, then you will not be effected from others' judgments. You said it yourself, you sometimes even imagine it when it is not there. The world somehow treats you the way you treat yourself. I wish I found a solution but I just could not. Only, it slightly gets better as you get older.
 

silly

Member
Just a couple of years back, i was also feel like same shy and a nervous guy. But then I got to learn and realize how to get through it. As you just don't need to think about what others thinking about you, just do whatever you want and likes. Try to more expressive and meet friend and have a lots of fun.
 
Top