Help with not being afraid of someone

akala

Well-known member
One of my old friend's mother is coming over, how do I not be afraid of her...
She used to bully me as a child out of jealousy because I was smarter
than her daughter... How do I act normal around her, I want to cry every time I see her ... she's manipulative and I'm sensitive...
I'm extremely afraid of her for this reason, how should I get over this fear so I can be at ease with myself when she comes over.
all this bullying on her part happened from age 7 to 12

I'm 20 now :/ i'm still not over it, and sort of afraid of her ( i know it's stupid to feel that way about her...) considering how old i am
has anyone felt this way? what did you do
 
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You are an adult now.
Adults can choose who they want to be around and who they want to avoid.
If you are unable to stop her from "coming over" then you can leave and go somewhere else while she is there.

My favourite quote...
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.”
 

laure15

Well-known member
I used to go to family gatherings where some relatives didn't like me. I was humiliated. I didn't go to these gatherings anymore. Problem solved. And I think there is a cousin's wedding coming up, which I'm thinking of skipping (if they ever invite me, which I highly doubt). She, her mother, and her sister don't even like me anyway so I have no reason for going.
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Has she changed for the better? If not, I suggest you to stop calling her a friend and cut contact with her.
 

cocorose

Well-known member
Do you live with your parents? What is the reason she is coming over? I would let her know how you feel, she sounds like a horrible person, and she should apologize to you.. or just avoid being there if that is possible.
 

akala

Well-known member
I know exactly how you feel , except I 'm afraid if i get into the habit of avoiding people, i'll end up alone for example i have family members i hate too. except there are twice as many that i DO enjoy being around... and it's not worth sacrificing those for the good poeple

&she hasn't changed for the better she is insecure, feels inadequate about her daughter, and takes it out on me because she gets jealous... she's only a part of my life because when i'm home the lady comes and visits my mother... who doesn't see anything wrong with her... and my mom's not exactly understanding.

Yes I live with my parents i'm moving to residency soon :) I don't think she would EVER admit tto her mistakes... She did so many subtle things to me as a child that was hurtful at the time...
 

akala

Well-known member
I just wish i knew how to handle her... if any of you remembered little house on the prairie... she is exactly like nellie&willie's (Harriet Oleson) mother... and how she treats laura
 
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Lamb

Well-known member
I know exactly how you feel , except I 'm afraid if i get into the habit of avoiding people, i'll end up alone for example i have family members i hate too. except there are twice as many that i DO enjoy being around... and it's not worth sacrificing those for the good poeple

&she hasn't changed for the better she is insecure, feels inadequate about her daughter, and takes it out on me because she gets jealous... she's only a part of my life because when i'm home the lady comes and visits my mother... who doesn't see anything wrong with her... and my mom's not exactly understanding.

Yes I live with my parents i'm moving to residency soon :) I don't think she would EVER admit tto her mistakes... She did so many subtle things to me as a child that was hurtful at the time...

How exactly does she take it out on you now, if you don't mind me asking?
 

akala

Well-known member
well she's still jealous of me because of how she puts me down...
like she will make rude remarks about my weight
tell my mom indirect ways about how her daughter is better than me it's in the way she talks
 

Lamb

Well-known member
well she's still jealous of me because of how she puts me down...
like she will make rude remarks about my weight
tell my mom indirect ways about how her daughter is better than me it's in the way she talks

If that's the case, I think you should stand up for yourself by speaking your mind. Give her a taste of her own medicine (hinted with sarcasm) and maybe that will shut her up a bit. I'm sorry you have to listen to that. It's been in my experience if someone is very critical, that's the only thing that will work.
 

akala

Well-known member
If that's the case, I think you should stand up for yourself by speaking your mind. Give her a taste of her own medicine (hinted with sarcasm) and maybe that will shut her up a bit. I'm sorry you have to listen to that.

thanks, i wish i could build up the courage to do that :sad:
confrontations and standing up for myself makes me shaky and cry
i hate conflict but i'm learning to confront people
 
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