Hello, I ma new here and need help classifying my illness

Billiamair

New member
Hi I am a 19 year old college student from New Jersey. My entire life I have always been completely dependant on my parents or other people to take me from place to place. I am constantly lost even if I am two blocks from my house. This was normal until I reached about 10 years old and realized that other children would always know how to get back home from the grocery store, a friends house, wherever. Im almost 20 and still cant get back home from pretty much anywhere.

By the time I was 17 and getting my license my agoraphobia or whatever I have multiplied like 1000 times. The only place I could drive was to school which is two blocks away from my house, and it took a long time for me to memorize the route. My mom had to show me the way a countless number of times. I would be completely fine driving if I knew where I was going, so driving to school wasnt that bad.....but I would get stressed out that a friend might ask for a ride home and I would have to blow them off.

Once my friends started driving to each others houses instead of having their parents drop them off my social life turned to 0. I was forced to stay at home every day because I couldnt get to any of my friends houses on my own. I finished out high school a total outcast.....and I have no social anxiety at all.

Once I started college my parents showed me around the campus many times before I was comfortable enough to get to class, cafeteria, whatever. The only times I would go out would be if I was following a group of friends. No matter how close we were to campus, at an off-campus party or whatever I would NEVER know how to get back. I would pretend to be really drunk and use that as an excuse with my friends. Sometimes I would get a cab to pick me up and take me back to campus and I would find out it was 2 roads away.

It's my first summer back at home after starting college and since I have a social life at school I cant stand to sit around all summer in my house. I've already started to hang out with my old friends again, Ive been pretending my car is in the shop and having people pick me up and drop me off back home everywhere I go. When people are dropping me off at home, the only way I can direct them is to tell them to drive to our high school and then showing them the one route I know. I think in time I could learn my way around my whole town with MUCH MUCH effort......but when I think of driving to a yankee game or the city when I am a father it seems like an impossible task.

Sorry for the long post, I still have so much to say about my illness but hopefully some of you can tell me what I have or relate based upon my description.
 

Billiamair

New member
grumblina said:
Sounds like "Directional Dyslexia". You would want to ask your doctor or psychologist about testing for a genuine diagnosis. The condition Is treatable. For futher information I would suggest that you Google "directional dyslexia". Good Luck! :D

Thank you very much for your feedback, I looked into directional dyslexia and I dont think that is quite the problem. I'm fine when it comes to left and right, I just cant remember how to get to all these different places. I dont think I have the memory for it......or I just dont pay attention.....when my mom used to drive me around I used to just day dream I guess, could this mean I have some type of ADD?? I was always a good student......1400 SAT's and always had good grades, so why do I feel so dumb when it comes to knowing where I am.

Also, if I learn how to get to 2 places from my home, like school and the grocery store, I wouldnt be able to go straight from the school to the grocery store or vice versa. I would have to go home, then go to the next place.

This is a HUGE problem when it comes to having friends and driving around with them. Even if I spent the time to try and memorize routes to my friends houses, I wouldnt be able to go from place to place. So if we were at a party and it was my turn to drive, I wouldnt be able to drop them off I would have to go home then go to each of their houses.

I think I have ADD or something like that.....where I just cant concentrate enough to understand where I am or how to get to different places. I used to blame it on moving a lot as a kid.....but I've lived in the same town for almost 10 years now, and I cant even get to the nearest CVS or McDonalds or ANYTHING!!!

It is so frustrating.......I want to go out but I just cant do it unless someone else holds my hand and takes me.
 

Shattered

Active member
Hey I feel for you! I went through the same thing but not up until I was 20. My grandmother is phobic of driving. I always had a problem knowing where I was or even what town I was in unless we were in my hometown. I would get a lot of crap over this, too. It made me very scared to drive and made directions harder to remember for me as well. Maybe you just have a phobia of driving? You should see a therapist about it. I bet they can help you out on this sort of thing. Good luck!
 
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