CHAKRAPOINT
Well-known member
Social anxiety ruins everything.i am so self c
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Having Trouble being an uncle or aunt
- Thread starter CHAKRAPOINT
- Start date
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
Me, in a way.
Years back, my niece was always trying to get me to play with her when I'd visit my brother with our parents, but I always felt spotlighted & afraid of doing something wrong, plus I just don't have a clue about how to interact with children.
Sadly, I feel stupid playing with a child because I'm acting goofy. !! This is precisely what you're supposed to do and I feel embarrassed about it
.
Ridiculous.
And I think the whole thing about being worried about others thinking you're a pederast or something is, well, "normal" for us SAD's mainly because we're pre-conditioned to worry about the WORST thing others can think about us. So just know that that is far from anyone's mind. Unless they watch way too many cop shows.
So I feel bad, because my niece has pretty much lost out on an uncle who could have, under other circumstances, been a friend, someone to have fun with, and someone to look up to and admire as she grew up.
Years back, my niece was always trying to get me to play with her when I'd visit my brother with our parents, but I always felt spotlighted & afraid of doing something wrong, plus I just don't have a clue about how to interact with children.
Sadly, I feel stupid playing with a child because I'm acting goofy. !! This is precisely what you're supposed to do and I feel embarrassed about it
.Ridiculous.
And I think the whole thing about being worried about others thinking you're a pederast or something is, well, "normal" for us SAD's mainly because we're pre-conditioned to worry about the WORST thing others can think about us. So just know that that is far from anyone's mind. Unless they watch way too many cop shows.
So I feel bad, because my niece has pretty much lost out on an uncle who could have, under other circumstances, been a friend, someone to have fun with, and someone to look up to and admire as she grew up.
scoobycrawler
Well-known member
its real simple
CHAKRAPOINT
Well-known member
Me, in a way.
Years back, my niece was always trying to get me to play with her when I'd visit my brother with our parents, but I always felt spotlighted & afraid of doing something wrong, plus I just don't have a clue about how to interact with children.
Sadly, I feel stupid playing with a child because I'm acting goofy. !! This is precisely what you're supposed to do and I feel embarrassed about it
Ridiculous.
And I think the whole thing about being worried about others thinking you're a pederast or something is, well, "normal" for us SAD's mainly because we're pre-conditioned to worry about the WORST thing others can think about us. So just know that that is far from anyone's mind. Unless they watch way too many cop shows.
So I feel bad, because my niece has pretty much lost out on an uncle who could have, under other circumstances, been a friend, someone to have fun with, and someone to look up to and admire as she grew up.
i know,its like weve spent our whole lives acting a certain way and we are depressed and are now asked to act way out of comfort zone.its hard for me to show emotion so its tough dealing with kids,did you act weird in any kind of way in that situation?
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
Not 'weird' weird, really - just stiff and uncomfortable. But I found that the longer you're around that kind of thing, you kind of relax, after realizing that it's not a life-or-death situation and everybody isn't totally focused on you waiting for a mistake to be made.
Slowly the anxiety 'melts' and you let go a bit. Still - not something I want to do out of choice.
Wow.
Okay, writing that brought back a memory of when I was in grade 4 at elementary school: one day a teacher from another room came in and said some students were to be chosen to do some project with one of the first-grade classes.
Each student chosen would head a group of 5 or 6 kids and do stuff with them.
I was one of the kids chosen. We went to this other classroom and each had these small children 'given' to us to tell stories to or make up games with. I remember being scared silly. Had NO idea what to do with them, and they all sat around me, staring at me and waiting for some leadership or some damn thing. I looked around and the other kids chosen were well into it, playing, laughing - as if they were given some instructions I missed out on.
Can't remember what I did, really. Think we just stared at each other until they decided to just play with each other. So I guess I've always been that way.
But, being shaken out of one's comfort zone can be a good thing, even if it feels like you'd rather be having your butt shaved by a blind orangutan instead at the time. The more it happens, the more you learn how to deal with it.
Slowly the anxiety 'melts' and you let go a bit. Still - not something I want to do out of choice.
Wow.
Okay, writing that brought back a memory of when I was in grade 4 at elementary school: one day a teacher from another room came in and said some students were to be chosen to do some project with one of the first-grade classes.
Each student chosen would head a group of 5 or 6 kids and do stuff with them.
I was one of the kids chosen. We went to this other classroom and each had these small children 'given' to us to tell stories to or make up games with. I remember being scared silly. Had NO idea what to do with them, and they all sat around me, staring at me and waiting for some leadership or some damn thing. I looked around and the other kids chosen were well into it, playing, laughing - as if they were given some instructions I missed out on.
Can't remember what I did, really. Think we just stared at each other until they decided to just play with each other. So I guess I've always been that way.
But, being shaken out of one's comfort zone can be a good thing, even if it feels like you'd rather be having your butt shaved by a blind orangutan instead at the time. The more it happens, the more you learn how to deal with it.