harder and harder moving to the next level

[black-wings]

my battle with social anxiety is going on about 7 years now. i've been able to make considerable progress. however, going up to strangers and making friends is something that is alot harder to conquer than i care to admit. it really sucks looking at my friends going to clubs, having social lives and i can, honestly, barely talk to the few friends that even care to be around me. obviously we're all here to voice are discomforts but i really wanna know, "how can i make friends, when i virtually have no social life or anything to bring to the table when making friends?"

i mean when im not around my friends, i go to places alone and at least hope that ill find someone i can shoot the breeze with. even at my job im forced to interact with people and, maybe its just me, but i feel like when i talk to em or try to help them with something in the store, its like they repel me. i hate it. i know i got alot to offer the world, but i don't know how to show it.

does anyone else feel this way? if so, how do you combat it?
-nick

 

[SeniorRedrings]

I don't know how you combat it.You've probably read that self help junk about meeting people,be fearless,get in the driving seat etc etc...that's no help is it?
TBH with you,I have been seriously considering joining the church,in order to meet people.
I don't really have a clue about God but given that the chat topics will be numbered in the ones,well I suppose I could learn about him if it meant I could get to talk to people.

 

[Fighter86]

I understand what your trying to say, unfortunately I can't offer advise on this as this is one of the major problems I face, making friends. This, and relationships, I suck at both. In anycase, i hope someone else with perhaps more adapt skills than my can help you.

 

[bitingthepea]

Dont worry, i know exactly how u feel, and its so horrible.
i also feel like i have a lot to offer but my social phobia completely destorys this. I have just started my first full time job and finding it very hard communicating with people!!

We just gota find ways to help ourselves and try different things. good luck x

 

[SeniorRedrings]

There is no way back wise one.

Curtis Mayfield - Move On Up - YouTube

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I feel this way too, especially this you said:

"how can i make friends, when i virtually have no social life or anything to bring to the table when making friends?"

I also wonder, why would anyone want to be friends with me if I have nothing to offer? I don't have my own place, I don't even drive. I don't know of cool places. But then, sometimes friendship is not about those things. There are things we can give if we are willing to give them. I don't know about you, but sometimes I just hide from people. I do it all the time. In a way, I am the one to reject people.

There are a lot of people out there who are looking for friends. People these days are so busy (and so many are flakes!) so people make new friends all the time. There are all kinds of friends too to fit different needs. I no longer go to school or even work, so it makes it that much harder to make connections. I have been trying to resuscitate old friendships...not going as well as I'd hope. New ventures are the key, perhaps volunteering or taking a class at the community college.

From what I have seen, being accommodating somehow, or rather, being a sort of yes person, being down for whatever, that is the easiest way to make friends. People don't like asking someone to do something if they are gonna say no or put too many restrictions. Sometimes they will only ask once. Accept all invitations. These friends that go clubbing, do they ask you to go along? Maybe you can invite yourself and give it a whirl?