Guilt.

[kuhtreen]

And once again, I've let someone down because of this disorder. I'm so flaky because I'm scared. Backing down at the last minute. Going back on my word. Avoiding people. Lying. Man, I've become such a big liar that it's like second nature to me now. Sometimes I hear my voice telling a lie before I can even stop it. I feel so guilty. I'm not really like this as a person, just because of how afraid I am of everything. I even pretended like I had a funeral to attend so that I could get out of something I promised to do.
This guilt is horrible.

 

[WelshOne]

The only plus point to losing all my friends after I quit highschool is that I dont have to constantly make up excuses not to go places any more.

I know how it feels though. I used to feel like such a bad friend because I was always taking days off school (usually 1 day a week at least.) The next day I would tell them I had been ill, but of course noone is ill that often. I had to make up excuses not to go to school dances and all that sort of thing too and felt like such a liar.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have explained my anxiety to my friends, but I dont know how that would have turned out. It certainly would have helped me if they had know and been supportive, but I guess the fear was that they would disown me.

I wish I knew what to suggest. Maybe telling small truths without letting the whole problem known would be a start. Like saying, "I cant do that because Im feeling really anxious recently and I need to relax on my own." Its not a lie but its not the full blown story either.

 

[Psychedelicious]

The Evercrushing Guilt

Who did you let down, and what were you suppose to do? Don't be the secretary of flake, it can be pretty annoying when it happens. I don't really relate to that part though because I don't ever get get asked to go anywhere, or have anyone to let down. I know I wouldn't though. I know what it's like to lie without even realizing it though. I do it so much sometimes, that I don't even mean to, then you just have to go with it. For some reason I don't really feel guilty though, not about silly things. Maybe I am evil? or just don't feel it as easily. Don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

 

[music10]

I've lied a lot due to my social phobia as well. I make up things all the time whenever a friend wants to get together with me.

 

[FOR REAL]

i try not to lie, but to be honest i lie that much (to get out of situations), i forget what the truth is!
i go over it, and over it, and over it again

ISLAND LIFE FOR ME!

 

[Lea]

Re: The Evercrushing Guilt

Who did you let down, and what were you suppose to do? Don't be the secretary of flake, it can be pretty annoying when it happens. I don't really relate to that part though because I don't ever get get asked to go anywhere, or have anyone to let down. I know I wouldn't though. I know what it's like to lie without even realizing it though. I do it so much sometimes, that I don't even mean to, then you just have to go with it. For some reason I don't really feel guilty though, not about silly things. Maybe I am evil? or just don't feel it as easily. Don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

I don´t think you´re really bad or evil person Psyche. Not more than most average people. But at least you don´t pretend to be good, that is a plus .
It seems more like you just don´t know who you are.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Guilty until proven innocent

I don´t think you´re really bad or evil person Psyche. Not more than most average people. But at least you don´t pretend to be good, that is a plus .
It seems more like you just don´t know who you are.

Haha I know. I wasn't so much being serious when I said evil . Good point though, I think the last part is really true!

 

[x000x]

I like to make up excuses when my friends ask to come to my house sometimes or when I don't feel comfortable going somewhere. I can remember telling one friend that he couldn't come over every week for about three weeks because I just wanted to be alone. The excuse that I gave him was "I had to visit some of the colleges I've been excepted to" and "I have a lot of school work". I knew that he knew I was lying after I gave an excuse the second time.