Ghosts from the past

[Moonchild]

Hello everybody. I would like to share this with you, it is not much but I have nobody else to share it with. I was suffering from social anxiety for quite a long time now and just about a few months ago, I thought I was actually doing better. I found myself a descend boyfriend, a good job and really slowly and frightened I made my little steps. But I did make some steps. And little by little I began to feel something strange. Comfort. Strengh. Only a little. The negative thoughts that were my loyal companion for all my life seemed to be fading away. All untill today.
Today I ran into this girl on facebook. My ex best friend from high school. My biggest fear. The only person I would use the word hate for.
She was low profile and shy at first so we were a good match, hang out together. Then I started dating a cute guy and all sudden, strange things were happening behind my back.
She appeared to be in love with him too or maybe used him and me too to rise above her shyness and become polular. She actually steped onto my soul to achieve this. She started telling him lies about me. That I was untrue to him, that I was unfaithfull. He believed all of her crap. At first I was living in a daydream, I was not aware of what was going on. Not a clue. She was trying to approach any friend I made and tell more lies about me as if her aim was to see me all alone, god knows why. She and my boyfriend started dating behind my back. Then they started talking about me behind my back together. Then they decided to make a fool out of me. The result was four years, four whole years of them laughing at me and making jokes on me at school all of the time. I bacame the class clown and had to face pure cruelty out of them every single day. My mistake was that I never stood up for my self. So, I began stattering in highschool, hated my hometown forever and gone to college as far as possible. I experienced severe lack of confidence ever since and social phobia.
But I felt better these months. As if I finally got over these awfull people and the way they treated me. I was feeling all right with my self and I was ready to start living again. But the ghosts are back today. An old classmate added her as a friend on facebook. and bang.. she is back in my life and in my mind. Eating my self esteem greedily as she did for pleasure every single day in high school. My ex best friend, the one person I trusted the most, the person that ruined my life.
I am really sorry to bother you all with my long story but I needed to tell it to someone cause it's been quite a shock seeing her face again.
Thanks for reading this

 

[chained]

well I had a friend like that.. not this severe tho. and I ditched her.. so u have nothing to worry about.. just don't get in contact with her.. u will think about it for a while.. but eventually u will forget about her... I mean what can she do to u, if u don't let her in ur life.. if u know what kind of a person she is now.. and I know u feel like u should've got her back(stood up for urself), but think of it this way.. if u keep on dreading about her.. she's the one winning, she won before and she will win again,.. u must forget about it.. believe me I know how u feel... give urself a deadline.. I will only think about her till Monday and forever let her go.. but remember don't let her win!

 

[Moonchild]

Thank you chained for answering. I wish I could let go but I became maniac on worrying that she will go throught my profile, look at my pics or something. I am afraid of her judging me. I can hear her voice in my head mocking me. Her one and only activity in class was making fun of me every time I oppened my mouth. She was after me all the time. She makes my social phobia extreme. I even thought of deleting my profile and maybe get shut indoors for another ten years. That's preety much the time she got me socially hadicapped the first time. By the way, I have never made a sinlge female friend since then. I hang around with boys ever since. Afraid of women for life! But chained, thanks. I allready feel better. It's good to talk it out, know that someone's listenning

 

[BlueDays]

This girl sounds like one of those people who get their kicks in life by being mean to other people and seeing their misery. Don't let her see that you are upset by her again and she will loose interest.
Just because she is on your old school friends Facebook, doesn't mean that you have to have to talk with her.

 

[Harleyq]

Just because she is on your old school friends Facebook, doesn't mean that you have to have to talk with her.

Exactly. I know it' hard to surf facebook and find her picture mixed in with your friends' lists but she can't do anything to you anymore. I'm pretty sure that by this time, if she tried to start sh-t with you, she would be the one who came off as socially inept cause who tries to cause problems for people on a facebook circle over someone they're not friends with, on facebook or otherwise? If I saw that, I'd be like "Chill, psychowoman! You need a new hobby besides stalking innocent girls"

 

[westminster]

I'm so sorry you're feeling bad, Moonchild.

I think this highlights the braoder but often undiscussed dangers of social networking sites like Facebook.

Like you, there are some people from my past that I would do anything to avoid. Just seeing their picture would open the floodgates and provoke heart palpitations, nightmares, and tears.

I was on Facebook for just a couple of months a couple of years back. I felt so out of control, being contacted by people I thought hated me; being shunned by those who I thought liked me. It really triggered my social anxiety and leaving it was a real relief.

The beauty of not being on social networking websites is that you're less likely to be suddenly contacted or confronted by people from your past who you'd prefer would be left there. This isn't necessarily avoidance. I'm a firm believer in the old expression that "the past is a foreign country: they do things differently there." Sometimes the past is better left dead as reliving it is incomprehensible and difficult to understand and painful with little benefit whatsoever.

 

[Krista]

Hello everybody. I would like to share this with you, it is not much but I have nobody else to share it with. I was suffering from social anxiety for quite a long time now and just about a few months ago, I thought I was actually doing better. I found myself a descend boyfriend, a good job and really slowly and frightened I made my little steps. But I did make some steps. And little by little I began to feel something strange. Comfort. Strengh. Only a little. The negative thoughts that were my loyal companion for all my life seemed to be fading away. All untill today.
Today I ran into this girl on facebook. My ex best friend from high school. My biggest fear. The only person I would use the word hate for.
She was low profile and shy at first so we were a good match, hang out together. Then I started dating a cute guy and all sudden, strange things were happening behind my back.
She appeared to be in love with him too or maybe used him and me too to rise above her shyness and become polular. She actually steped onto my soul to achieve this. She started telling him lies about me. That I was untrue to him, that I was unfaithfull. He believed all of her crap. At first I was living in a daydream, I was not aware of what was going on. Not a clue. She was trying to approach any friend I made and tell more lies about me as if her aim was to see me all alone, god knows why. She and my boyfriend started dating behind my back. Then they started talking about me behind my back together. Then they decided to make a fool out of me. The result was four years, four whole years of them laughing at me and making jokes on me at school all of the time. I bacame the class clown and had to face pure cruelty out of them every single day. My mistake was that I never stood up for my self. So, I began stattering in highschool, hated my hometown forever and gone to college as far as possible. I experienced severe lack of confidence ever since and social phobia.
But I felt better these months. As if I finally got over these awfull people and the way they treated me. I was feeling all right with my self and I was ready to start living again. But the ghosts are back today. An old classmate added her as a friend on facebook. and bang.. she is back in my life and in my mind. Eating my self esteem greedily as she did for pleasure every single day in high school. My ex best friend, the one person I trusted the most, the person that ruined my life.
I am really sorry to bother you all with my long story but I needed to tell it to someone cause it's been quite a shock seeing her face again.
Thanks for reading this

I've had friends like that but also not that severe. The one thing you need to remember is that you guys have grown up, you're older and just remember that you're better than her. You don't have to hurt others to make yourself feel good and this isn't school. You don't have to see her if you don't want to, or talk to her or even invite her into your life ever again. If you really think that she'll do the same things she did back in high school then now is your chance to tell her off. Even if it's just a small one. You get to start over so don't let her ruin your very great start and pull you down. If you have to, even talking about it with your boyfriend might help.

 

[Apple Strudel]

I feel you. I hated my high school mates but can't stop stalking them. The mere sight of them can send me into great depression, seeing that they are doing better than me in life, at all aspects.

Facebook is a double edge sword. It can help me to reconnect the people that I want or see a person that I wanted out of my life forever. So I can understand why just by looking at a tiny pic beside other people's profile can send you into a huge rage, sadness, sorrow or maybe...regrets.

I have the same problem too, so would like to know that you are not alone feeling this way. These people caused me to delay in my studies, became agoraphobic, develop deep suicidal symptoms and I never want to see any of their ugly faces ever again. To the extent I wanted to do something which can get me out of this country and start somewhere all over again......

I feel so alone and hurt by my past and you know what? I sometimes regret not dropping out of school and just move on to do my own things instead of staying and wishing things gets better...but I was wrong of course. The only thing to do right now is to forget, forget and forget and concentrate on your recovery and let yourself know it's in the past and 10 years down the road (cliche I know) you don't even remember what you did during school or anything during that time.

I should prolly take my own advice too lol.

 

[chained]

I've had friends like that but also not that severe. The one thing you need to remember is that you guys have grown up, you're older and just remember that you're better than her. You don't have to hurt others to make yourself feel good and this isn't school. You don't have to see her if you don't want to, or talk to her or even invite her into your life ever again. If you really think that she'll do the same things she did back in high school then now is your chance to tell her off. Even if it's just a small one. You get to start over so don't let her ruin your very great start and pull you down. If you have to, even talking about it with your boyfriend might help.

yeah, talking to ur boyfriend should help

 

[redski]

Try all you can to completely ban people like this from you life.
Block her on Facebook, if that is a possibility.
I have had a few unsupportive friends like that and it was just a waste of
time and emotions.