Getting an attitude helps!

Do you let people walk all over you?

  • I'm a living doormat

    Votes: 9 42.9%
  • Heck no!

    Votes: 7 33.3%
  • People never ask me to do things for them

    Votes: 5 23.8%

  • Total voters
    21

mismeek

Well-known member
Hey guys remember me!! Its mismeek.. well shes not so meek anymore!!

for the last 6 years I have had crippling anxiety in social situations.. couldn't go to the store, couldn't go to school for long period of time and I even got to the point where I couldn't leave me house without being sedated.

Today I go to work everyday, attend college year round (Im graduating in Dec. !!!!) and even hang out with friends on the weekends!

How did I make this huge turn around??

changing my outlook on life.. and getting a little bitchy

I'm a very nice person..always trying to please everyone and would bend over backward for family and friends.. its got to the point where i was working, going to school, coming home and doing ALL the house work even tho there were two other people in the house.. making dinner, then going to my grandparents to clean and cook for them. I was so stressed that i was having panic attacks daily and my hair was beginning to fall out. finally one night when I was typing up my sister term paper I thought "enough was enough" I told my sister that that this was not my job and that she had to do it on her own because I had better things to do. Of course i went to my room and had a major panic attack.. but afterward I felt like I was in control of myself for once. after that I learned to say no more often.. I stopped taking peoples shifts at work.. stopped volunteering to help with homework. I WAS NOW PUTTING MYSELF FIRST. Is it selfish? maybe. But it gave me more confidence. I stopped caring want people might be thinking about me in class. I was no longer wondering if the cashier thought my clothes looked tacky. I felt more at ease and less tense.

I'm not saying I'm completely cured or anything.. but my life it a million times better than it was. I still take medication and rely on the occasional therapy session, but I still think my mindset is what helps the most.

its 2am here and im kinda hyped up on sugar and I dunno if this makes any sense at all.. but I hope it does. I guess what im trying to say is that you all need to remember that this is YOUR life. You're running the show. Dont let yourself be the passenger anymore!

xoxoxoxo Meeky!!
 

Sprunk

Well-known member
Trying to please everyone is something i struggle with at the moment.I feel really guilty if i don't show to certain things and i know i shouldn't,though it can be a really hard habit to break.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I also try to please everyone,everytime & it can be very frustrating sometimes,I should occasionally learn to say 'no' too.I really enjoyed reading this post,glad it worked for you.
 

MagicPotion

Well-known member
I am trying to do this - but it's easier said than done - you can't just switch personalities overnight. Still, glad you posted this as it's given me some encouragement with it - glad you've found it so helpful.

I don't really want to have 'an attitude' so much, but you're very right that letting people walk all over you isn't fair and I'm trying my best to stop it happening, just by saying 'no' nicely and being assertive.

I don't care so much what people think of me now either, tbh if people I don't know or care about think I'm a nob then whatever.

This is good advice imho - thanks Mismeek and I'm glad you've gained so much confidence.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Taking control of your life, that's great! Glad to hear! I'm guilty of trying to make everyone happy. While I won't do every little thing, I will do most things, no matter how much I hate it, if it just makes the other person happy.
 

mikebird

Banned
Mismeek!
You're so lucky! You have a job!

I'm desperate to find something to do, and spend all my time searching and interviewing. I get rejected, and always knew it was because of my aggressive attitude which very quickly springs up when my initial demeanour is pleasant and friendly. It's my lack of work that fires me up when people pick at my dismal CV / resume.

I really try to be a doormat, but I get to the end of my tether really quickly, and rarely see things the same way as my boss, or their underlings. Under the thumb does not sit right for me. I can't dig myself out of this.

I get into a rant with recruiters on the phone, especially, really all the effort goes into curbing my fury in interview, and even when into a job, it never lasts long...

I'm learning from you...
 

da_illest101

Well-known member
Yea it did help me, it helped me build a bit more confidence, but that over confidence came in and bite me in the butt after . So for you sake don't get too cocky after lol
 

doubleM

Well-known member
ive gotten better at saying what i feel and doing the things i want around people, but i try to do it without hurting anyone else.
 

Felgen

Well-known member
After I got an attitude, people just placed me in a different stereotype (as an arrogant jerk rather than a doormat), but I'm glad you found something that works for you.
 

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
I applaud you for being able to revert to this kind of attitude and keep it up without being rude or crude or anything of the like.

I tried having that attitude once but I just couldn't do it for very long. Not only was I hurting other people but I was hurting myself knowing I was hurting other people, especially those who meant well. Instead of being mean to those who treated me badly I was irritable and mean to people who were only trying to be nice to me and help me feel better and that definitely got me nowhere. No matter how many times people walk all over me or piss me off I just can't bring myself to say or do hurtful things back to them, as much as I would like to at times. I'm too weak and I know that I'm not witty enough to think of some good comebacks to say or how to fend for myself. Hopefully I can be like you someday.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I exist to please people~
I don't do everything that people ask of me though- I do what I want.
I usually want to help, so when people ask; I most likely will say yes out of the kindness of my heart.
If I don't feel like doing something, I'll decline.
That's the way I am and I don't think I'd ever want to change it even if it made me unhappy. I like to make people happy.
 

mismeek

Well-known member
I exist to please people~
I don't do everything that people ask of me though- I do what I want.
I usually want to help, so when people ask; I most likely will say yes out of the kindness of my heart.
If I don't feel like doing something, I'll decline.
That's the way I am and I don't think I'd ever want to change it even if it made me unhappy. I like to make people happy.

well weirdy, sounds like helping people isnt the source of your anxiety :D
 

mismeek

Well-known member
After I got an attitude, people just placed me in a different stereotype (as an arrogant jerk rather than a doormat), but I'm glad you found something that works for you.

I kinda like coming off as a bitch now ( although i can assure you im a big sweetheart ::p:) because people tend to talk to me less.. which i do not mind AT ALL. lol

maybe i should just start carrying around a big club too.. i bet then people wouldn't even think to ask me to do stuff for them.XD
 
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