nowherewoman
Member
I'm so sick of the government telling me that I am capable of working so I can't get food stamps and disability benefits while the rest of the world acts like I don't belong out in public.
After numerous applications and failed interviews (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about) I finally FINALLY got a job. One I hated, at Walmart, but it was a chance to make enough money to get out on my own again. But everyone was always asking me "are you all right?" because my face generally looks sad when it's relaxed (anyone else have this problem?) and two supervisors were constantly on my case to smile and talk more. One asked me a lot of personal questions and then stared at me disbelievingly when I answered. Fine, I get it. It's part of the job. I did my best. But the other day a manager took me to the backroom to admonish me for working too slowly. I try not to get into confrontations because I cry easily, and this was no exception. One of the above mentioned supervisors was on hand to witness the scene and she told me I must have something bad wrong with me to cry over that and that I was grown and must have severe problems. I walked out. I didn't see any other alternative because I couldn't have stood to work with her again even if I had had the guts to sit there and be talked to like that.
I got a letter from food stamps the next day saying that because I had no dependent children (another side effect of social phobia) and was "capable of working" I was not eligible. What the hell am I supposed to do!!? I can't get a behind-the-scenes desk job because those kinds of employers are looking to just hire one or two people and they are NOT going to choose me. They would rather hire someone friendly and personable, someone they could like. I've tried everything! I even went to court with a lawyer and the judge said I wasn't disabled. I will never be independent. I'm better off dead. And please don't reply if you're going to judge me for crying, being depressed, giving up on making my own money or anything else. I can't take that right now.
After numerous applications and failed interviews (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about) I finally FINALLY got a job. One I hated, at Walmart, but it was a chance to make enough money to get out on my own again. But everyone was always asking me "are you all right?" because my face generally looks sad when it's relaxed (anyone else have this problem?) and two supervisors were constantly on my case to smile and talk more. One asked me a lot of personal questions and then stared at me disbelievingly when I answered. Fine, I get it. It's part of the job. I did my best. But the other day a manager took me to the backroom to admonish me for working too slowly. I try not to get into confrontations because I cry easily, and this was no exception. One of the above mentioned supervisors was on hand to witness the scene and she told me I must have something bad wrong with me to cry over that and that I was grown and must have severe problems. I walked out. I didn't see any other alternative because I couldn't have stood to work with her again even if I had had the guts to sit there and be talked to like that.
I got a letter from food stamps the next day saying that because I had no dependent children (another side effect of social phobia) and was "capable of working" I was not eligible. What the hell am I supposed to do!!? I can't get a behind-the-scenes desk job because those kinds of employers are looking to just hire one or two people and they are NOT going to choose me. They would rather hire someone friendly and personable, someone they could like. I've tried everything! I even went to court with a lawyer and the judge said I wasn't disabled. I will never be independent. I'm better off dead. And please don't reply if you're going to judge me for crying, being depressed, giving up on making my own money or anything else. I can't take that right now.