Friendship

April72

Well-known member
#1
This is, without any doubt, the topic I'm moré concern in now.

I want to talk with you about friendship. It's not that I have many knowledge in the topic, on the contrary, I'm looking for your thoughts.

The thing is that in a few months I have lost three friends for several reasons. I had to cut off one of the friendship for a 3rd person, it wasn't a voluntary act on my part. The other two friends left me. I consider one of them, my first friend ever. This is why I'm so hurt these days. Anyway, I consider them my friends even when the contact is finish forever.

Well, now I've got two closed on line friends and two in real world.

I'm wondering if I have a different concept of frienship than other people.
What I feel in relation to friendship is that it is over everything, it require a certain contact although it's not necessary a daily contact. And, mainly friendship is something that never ends up. I mean, you even can put a finish point to a partnership but true frienship never ends up.

Perhaps, I' m very wrong or I don't know how to choose friends.

What's feelings, thoughts...about the topic?
 

Aylaa

Well-known member
#2
I'm wondering if I have a different concept of frienship than other people.
What I feel in relation to friendship is that it is over everything, it require a certain contact although it's not necessary a daily contact. And, mainly friendship is something that never ends up. I mean, you even can put a finish point to a partnership but true frienship never ends up.
Hmm well I have no idea if this is true since I've never had any true friends. I've been let down by people who I thought were true friends. Maybe I excpected too much from them. (But I really don't think letting someone fly almost 700 km to go to a concert together and then cancelling at the last minute with a lame excuse when you never really intented to come is NOT something a true friend would do)

Maybe I have weird views about friendship as well. I feel that if you have daily contact at work with someone and keep in touch after one person leaves, you're forming a friendship. I was wrong about that, too.
 

April72

Well-known member
#3
Thank you for Your reply. I always like to read what you have to tell me.
I have the same doubts as you.
Yesterday, I was talking to my partner about this issue and he says that it's very rare to have a true friend. He is a normie and he is really extrovert and knows and talks to everybody.

Perhaps, we are asking too much.
What can I say? I'm a dreamer and I like to believe in the puréness of things.
I think I have this naive sight bc of my seven years of self-isolation. And now that I'm facing to people, I'm learning the rules.

Anyway, cut my head if you want but I'm sure that I will going on trusting in true friendship.
 

Aylaa

Well-known member
#4
I remember reading an older topic on here if people with AvPD can have friends, several people said no close friends because of the trust issues, if I remember correctly (I'm sure at least 1 person said it). But I still want someone I can trust 100%. And even though I screwed up last time because I think I wanted this too badly, I still believe it's possible.

If you want a lot of friends, it helps to be an extrovert, but I think for a true friend you just need to meet the right person..... and maybe also under the right circumstances. So your partner is right in that it's rare. This is harder for us because we don't meet as many people, but I don't think you have to be an extrovert to build that friendship. If someone accepts you, they will also accept your AvPD. But hey, maybe I'm naive as well ;)
 
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