Frankly, going on facebook breaks my heart

TreeBones

TreeBones

Well-known member
I have a facebook account that I activate every now and then so I can get my old pictures and things of that sort, and every time I go on there I get depressed. I see where my friends are now, living normal happy lives, having fun, still friends with my other friends and I'm happy for them but at the same time when I look at a smiling picture I feel like it's mocking me. I also feel bad because I noticed how many people wanted to talk to me and hang out with me and I just blew them off every time and acted like I didn't want to, and said things like I gotta go or, any other excuse that I would definetly not say now. Ugh, it's a frusterating time when you wish you had a time machine.
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
TreeBones said:
I have a facebook account that I activate every now and then so I can get my old pictures and things of that sort, and every time I go on there I get depressed. I see where my friends are now, living normal happy lives, having fun, still friends with my other friends and I'm happy for them but at the same time when I look at a smiling picture I feel like it's mocking me. I also feel bad because I noticed how many people wanted to talk to me and hang out with me and I just blew them off every time and acted like I didn't want to, and said things like I gotta go or, any other excuse that I would definetly not say now. Ugh, it's a frusterating time when you wish you had a time machine.
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I sometimes wish my life was better than it turned out to be now. I see people most of the time, and every reaction equivalents to happy faces and sheer laughter. How these people were blessed with having these two values, will remain a question mark. Facebook, personally, wasn't the best option to meet my friends,(I can already tell they've been brainwashed by media crap and all) Now, I have no one left,(family besides) The worst of it is, the pictures that are posted of me. Almost all of them look horrid and it brought my self esteem low just because my sister wanted to post them up. Other than a time machine, I wish I could be like a Phoenix and reborn my original crappy life into a clean start. Or a video game that literally will restart my life. Too bad it only happens in the movies.
 
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kihira

kihira

1
"A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?”

The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look."

Facebook doesn't give an accurate picture of the lives of others
 
G

Griffin

Well-known member
TreeBones said:
... I see where my friends are now, living normal happy lives, having fun ... when I look at a smiling picture I feel like it's mocking me. I also feel bad because I noticed how many people wanted to talk to me and hang out with me and I just blew them off every time ... Ugh, it's a frusterating time when you wish you had a time machine.
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As kihira has said, FB doesn't give an accurate picture of other people and their lives. Those people may well have happy lives, yet they may not. People tend to only put the best aspects of their life on FB. Be happy for your friends, leave it at that.

Those smiling pictures are not "mocking" you - they're just people posing for a photo.

It is frustrating to look back and think about what you could have done differently. I've lost count of the number of nights I've been in bed wishing I made different choices. Life is like that for lots of people, maybe even some of your friends who are living 'happy' lives. Just put it aside. The past is done, leave it there and move on. When you do, other people and their lives won't affect you.
 
Iseesky

Iseesky

Well-known member
I know that feeling so well. It's something I've been struggling with lately. Facebook is a way for me to connect with family members that live all over the place...and to keep in contact with the very few friends I have left. So, deleting it isn't the best option. However, I'm trying to limit the amount of time I spend on it. I do a quick scroll through my newsfeed daily and that's about it. I used to go through everyone's photos...old friends...old acquaintances...And get so depressed that they seem so happy.

As everyone else has said, what they post on facebook isn't necessarily what's going on in their heads. They're smiling in the photos, but for all we know, they could be very unhappy. For me it's not even just about that, but rather the fact that they still have some sort of social life with the people that I used to spend time with in school. I think that's the worst.
 
TreeBones

TreeBones

Well-known member
While I can understand how FB does not 100% reflect the persons lives, I know my friends, and I know they're happy and I wouldn't have it any other way. everyone's life is filled with good and bad times, even the most unhappiest people have got to have good times, but peoples quality of life is always different and the truth is, some are just better then others. some people have mental disorders, or are obese, or have some kind of major life effecting flaw, while others have minor, common ones that the majority of the world has. you know what I mean? :blushing:
 
TreeBones

TreeBones

Well-known member
I love lions said:
I sometimes wish my life was better than it turned out to be now. I see people most of the time, and every reaction equivalents to happy faces and sheer laughter. How these people were blessed with having these two values, will remain a question mark. Facebook, personally, wasn't the best option to meet my friends,(I can already tell they've been brainwashed by media crap and all) Now, I have no one left,(family besides) The worst of it is, the pictures that are posted of me. Almost all of them look horrid and it brought my self esteem low just because my sister wanted to post them up. Other than a time machine, I wish I could be like a Phoenix and reborn my original crappy life into a clean start. Or a video game that literally will restart my life. Too bad it only happens in the movies.
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Hey I hear ya :)
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
myheartisastone said:
Hint: no one on facebook or on the internet has a perfect life. It's not a reflection of reality.
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They aren't going to post sad things on their pages. Nobody's going to take a picture of themselves crying their eyes out and say "so here is me crying over the massive fight I had with my husband". They are going to post possitive/random things, happy photos and they will write "this is me and my husband having a good time at the beach"

Just because they share the goods it doesn't mean they have no bads. They could be living a sh!tty life for all you know. People often keep their problems to themselves.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Hellhound said:
Just because they share the goods it doesn't mean they have no bads. They could be living a sh!tty life for all you know. People often keep their problems to themselves.
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The last thing I posted on fb was about stepping on a hairball. Does that count as a bad thing? It felt pretty gross.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
^the last thing i did on Facebook was to poke a Zumba instructor i know from high school :idontknow:
 
TreeBones

TreeBones

Well-known member
myheartisastone said:
There have been many studies made about this:

Social Envy - Study Finds Facebook Causes Depression And Isolation | All News Is Global |

This is why I took a break for a while, and why I try to not take it as seriously. It creates this hostile atmosphere that just makes you feel bad, comparing yourself to others.

Hint: no one on facebook or on the internet has a perfect life. It's not a reflection of reality.
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That's bull****. I'm not envious, I don't have any resentment over anyone's happiness. theres a difference between wanting something others have and wanting to take something away from others in order to make yourself feel better which is what I don't want. I'm not the Grinch "looking down, hating on the whos" so to speak. Everyone needs to stop being hypocritical. I'm sure everyone on here has looked at someone, or some family, or their outgoing friend and said to themselves, I wish I had that, or I wish I was "normal" like them. And yes I do compare myself to other people it's human nature, that's just life, not everyone's life is equal to everyone elses.
 
M

myheartisastone

Well-known member
TreeBones said:
That's bull****. I'm not envious, I don't have any resentment over anyone's happiness. theres a difference between wanting something others have and wanting to take something away from others in order to make yourself feel better which is what I don't want. I'm not the Grinch "looking down, hating on the whos" so to speak. Everyone needs to stop being hypocritical. I'm sure everyone on here has looked at someone, or some family, or their outgoing friend and said to themselves, I wish I had that, or I wish I was "normal" like them. And yes I do compare myself to other people it's human nature, that's just life, not everyone's life is equal to everyone elses.
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Well, some people feel like this (like the OP), not everyone does, so the article referenced wouldn't apply to you.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
TreeBones said:
I have a facebook account that I activate every now and then so I can get my old pictures and things of that sort, and every time I go on there I get depressed. I see where my friends are now, living normal happy lives, having fun, still friends with my other friends and I'm happy for them but at the same time when I look at a smiling picture I feel like it's mocking me. I also feel bad because I noticed how many people wanted to talk to me and hang out with me and I just blew them off every time and acted like I didn't want to, and said things like I gotta go or, any other excuse that I would definetly not say now. Ugh, it's a frusterating time when you wish you had a time machine.
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Yeah Facebook, makes me compare myself to other's as well. But you could also ask those people how they accomplished those things, or think about it. What they done for it and maybe you can do it too?

I feel the same , can't give much of advice, only tell you that I feel exactly the same, I'm not popular at all, I am not outgoing and I have a stujpid life
 
A

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
FB is like trying to see a panoramic view while wearing blinders:) Plain and simple.It's full of bright and shiny moments from people's lives and that's it.You get the occasional debbie downer who only posts when he/she is depressed or angry but mostly it's people wanting to look as good as possible to people who attended high school and college with them or wanting to look as good as possible for their family members.

I removed everything from my news feed except the funny pages bc I got tired of reading about everyone's new babies,marriages,parties,etc. It isn't that I'm jealous or want them to be sad.It's that I know I'm only getting a small glimpse into their lives and it feels cheap to me.

FB,like many things online,is around to make you feel like you have to be certain way,own certain things,and live a certain life.Anything less and you feel like crap. It's all geared toward making people want things they don't need.
 
TreeBones

TreeBones

Well-known member
Kiwong said:
I really don't want to be anyone else.
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I wouldn't want to "be" a somebody else just be "like" them. posess a quality they have.... but then I suppose you wouldn't be you anymore would you.? I see what you all are saying how fb doesn't reflect their lives. I'm just saying I use to be in their lives so I know what it's like, it's better and less lonely, it's more warm and secure. none of them have a mental illness, to me it seems like at some point I adopted a new life that, while I don't regret because I like myself better now, is more miserable. And to all of my friends life keeps going on. I feel like I'm supposed to be with them, (well some of them,) like it was a kindled friendship that I abandoned. I think of when we were kids and how silly and happy we were. It seems I do go back to the past a bit more then I should but for me with social anxiety now, it feels like I'm not living anymore and that the past is all I have because I won't have a future. But I shouldn't think of it that way.
 
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