Feeling numbness

[Jodie-Tyler]

I don’t know if anyone can relate, but I’ve kind of mastered ‘brushing things off’.
(A little background) Therapists tell me “You’re depressed and probably have been since an early age, and it’s all you know”. But if it is, so what? I can still feel joy and still enjoy life, but I never really let things bother me.

For example, when something bad happens, or something that would normally upset me, I just ‘brush it off’. Like, I have the capability to not care. Can anyone else relate? Does anyone else still feel emotions but has the; let’s say maturity, to get over things? Or perhaps it’s the depression not allowing me to become attached to things.

Point is, I was perfectly content living life with a ‘let the chips fall where they may’ kind of mind set, until now.
I feel like my depression has laid dormant within for ages, and has come back to the surface. I feel tearful all the time and am ashamed of my life…..for how shit and unimpressive it is.
There was a trigger for this, but I don’t want to indulge in that unless there’s people out there who can relate and I can talk to.
Let me know if there’s anyone who feels similar

 

[Ads7800]

Hey there.
Nice to be able to brush things off. Yeah, I can relate to that. I've just found that sometimes I can have a negative experience, like someone yelling out an insult from a car, and just say to myself "who's that dickhead anyway?" Five years ago that would have been a disastrous situation resulting in hours of internal struggle to get back to it. I suppose it doesn't mean anything anymore if I don't know or don't care about the person trying to cause unnecessary drama.
I'm not so sure if that's what you've meant in your perspective? But I hope you're feeling at least a bit better. It sucks when depression raises its beastly head from the surface.
All the best. :thumbup:

 

[Concep]

When I'm feeling really bad, something is specially hard or simply I'm tired yes, my mind tends to simply becomes numb, it's useful because I think is a defense method and it allows you to deal with things at a more slow pace or something BUT as you say it comes to a point when it's not enough and everything crash on us and surprise! we never learnt how to deal with everything at once so we break down or it can happen that you see yourself trapped in that state longer than expected. I don't think is bad at a certain level but i wouldn't like to be there forever 'cause in my case it leads to depersonalization and that scares me, like I feel I'm losing myself if I can't feel.

 

[rayeo]

I can relate to this. I think I grow numb to stuff that upset me: I climb over the ladder pretty well to avoid thinking too much about it.

Why moan about it, when you can accept it the way it is and move on from it? Easy and fast grieving process..Maybe it's a maturity thing or just a defense to protect ourselves from being hurt. It definitely is a wall that keeps us detached.

I've grown fond of how I can just brush things off so easily but sometimes I do feel a bit insensitive when I can move on so quick from it.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I am very much like this. It has been from a lifetime of depression that I am pretty numb to most things. I actually feel like it is a safety feature I have developed so as to not get too low. I have a level of apathy that keeps me sane. Certainly in matters of love and feeling life is unfair I just shrug stuff off anymore to keep from completely going off the deep end. I rarely cry for example and I have trouble feeling sorry for myself even when I apparently should. I left my geraniums out over night and they froze-oh well. Everything I have ever tried really hard at I have failed at, oh well. I would probably have the same reaction if I got cancer as numb as I am at this point.

Or maybe it is just maturity and realizing we are not in control of anything in our lives and it is silly to think we are? This is the debate I have in my head about it.

It takes a lot to get me upset though. I actually think this is a good quality. From being around too many drama queens, I feel like I am pretty awesome to be with in a lot of ways.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I don't know how well I brush stuff off, but I feel generally dead inside. Very little fazes me for good or bad, and pretty much dont express anything