Feeling like you Stand Out

[CHAKRAPOINT]

Do any of feel worthless yet feel like you stand out everywhere?

i am a big guy first of,and secondly my college is very small yet packed with students.classromms are cramped and there is no space so beng one of the biggest guys i know people are watching me and expecting me to act a certain way which increases my anxiety.

 

[Noop]

i wear very bland clothing so i don't stand out too much, but i always think people are looking at me anyways. i've been told i look like a professional, a doctor or scientist with my face and facial hair :: it is sort of true this idea.

sometimes the way you look on the outside is a book cover for people

it's odd, when you "don't" want the world to notice you they do, however, when you need people to they don't.

sod's law.

 

[Hottie]

Like i said in the last post i posted to you... you are proberly more paroniod. If you went to a SA group, people there, you wouldnt know are anxious. They sit there like 'normal' people.

You proberly feel like your noticable because your symptoms are so strong... It is very common for people with anxiety to feel like they stand out...it is proberly not how they see it.

A tip you can use is visualization - try to imagine you are looking at yourself through a television...see everyone around you and then look at yourself...you are proberly acting no different then everyone else. Dont know how helpful this will be for you but its just an idea!!

 

[CHAKRAPOINT]

i know right,sometimes when i leave the house without showering i meet so many i know but when i am showerd and well dressed i meet noone

 

[CHAKRAPOINT]

Like i said in the last post i posted to you... you are proberly more paroniod. If you went to a SA group, people there, you wouldnt know are anxious. They sit there like 'normal' people.

You proberly feel like your noticable because your symptoms are so strong... It is very common for people with anxiety to feel like they stand out...it is proberly not how they see it.

A tip you can use is visualization - try to imagine you are looking at yourself through a television...see everyone around you and then look at yourself...you are proberly acting no different then everyone else. Dont know how helpful this will be for you but its just an idea!!

i seriously know that people notice because when i get anxious while talking i will notice my face scrunch up with worry and at that same time the other person will also change their expression from interested to what what i saying to a look of WTF??? within split seconds

 

[Hottie]

people notice because when i get anxious while talking i will notice my face scrunch up with worry

i know that feeling. when im anxious, sometimes i hold a blank look on my face. I have been told at different times i look angry,sad,worried etc.

From what you have just said...you are obvisully aware of the expression in your face..you can change it. You have control over your facial movments. I know it is difficult to change to look on your face. I become stiff, and become like a statue.

Maybe practise in the mirror, see what you look like with different expressions. Find one you become comfortable with and when ever you notice your "face scrunch up with worry", change the expression.
this is a very simple but effective tool.

 

[CHAKRAPOINT]

i know that feeling. when im anxious, sometimes i hold a blank look on my face. I have been told at different times i look angry,sad,worried etc.

From what you have just said...you are obvisully aware of the expression in your face..you can change it. You have control over your facial movments. I know it is difficult to change to look on your face. I become stiff, and become like a statue.

Maybe practise in the mirror, see what you look like with different expressions. Find one you become comfortable with and when ever you notice your "face scrunch up with worry", change the expression.
this is a very simple but effective tool.

good advise hottie,will try it but its as if me not knowing what to say in a conversation immediately makes me anxious which i know the other person sees so i think to myself "theres no point in trying to smile as they alredy saw a peek into my anxiety

 

[Hottie]

well only allow them a peak. Dont let them have a good look...

Becoming concious of, and changing you expressions, will automatically make you feel better. For example, if you have a frown, sad or confused expression..become aware of it and replace it with a smile. You will notice the difference.
If you dont believe me...do it now and see for yourself.

As for not being a good conversationist...its okay. You are not expected by anyone to be the best talker. You may feel low because you want to talk more, but start with what your comfortable with.
Sure body language and non-verbal communication count for something like 60/70% of communication. So the speacking bit is only the rest and you have some language skills so your percentage is highering.
It doesnt matter if were not 100%, there is not alot of people who are 100% good at communication.

Try and not feel like you are being put on the spot every time you have a conversation with someone. Find out yourself what point are you comfortable speaking, reconigize this and only stay inside your comfort zone. From there you can and will build your confidence.

I still suggest to you like i did before, speak to someone about your difficulties. It can do more harm if your left to deal with it on your own...

Hope this helps...