Feeling hopeless about therapy

kuhtreen

Well-known member
I've only gone twice, but I'm already doubting that this will help me.
My therapist wants me to imagine putting my problems in a jar and locking the jar, then imagining being in a relaxing place. And when I go out by myself, I have to pretend like my sister is with me and that's supposed to make me feel more relaxed. Um, NO!! I've tried that already! I just feel like these are lame techniques that I could find in a self-help book. That's why I gave up on self-help books; because they don't help me. I've tried so many techniques with my "imagination," and they didn't work then so why would they now?
Gosh, I just wanted to cry on the way home because sometimes I feel like this is a life sentence I'll never get out of.
I'm gonna have to force myself to be optimistic and keep an open mind. I just needed to vent to get that out of my system. :(
 

recluse

Well-known member
Yeah i know how you feel the therapist can only give us guideance, we alone have to help ourselves, but i don't know how to do it:confused:
 

Exposure

Well-known member
hi kuhtreen i know how it feels when things look so hopeless , i was told them exact things by a therapist and i felt like pulling my hair out , if you can , check out the panic-away program , its an e-book you download , i think it costs around 50 euro , but its helped me so much , i felt so helpless a month ago but now i have hope again that i can be free of this terrible affliction , hope things get better soon :)
 

kuhtreen

Well-known member
Yeah i know how you feel the therapist can only give us guideance, we alone have to help ourselves, but i don't know how to do it:confused:

Yeah, I know. I wish there was a guide book or something, with specific steps for you to do that would GUARANTEE you to overcome SA. But that would just be too easy, now wouldn't it?

I told myself I was going to be completely honest in therapy, but today I accidentally lied because I'm just used to hiding my true reality. I hope it doesn't ruin things :-/
 

BlackKids

Well-known member
I've had two therapists now. The first one was private. This was a few years back but I didn't really find her that helpful. I was in a different mindset and when I look back I don't think I was really open to her suggestions. I was looking for a magic trick that would cure me.

Now the therapist I'm seeing now is quite helpful. He works for the health board which makes me think more positivity of him. Like hes trying to help people rather than just doing it for the money. Only think that sucks is I have to wait so long for an appointment 6-8weeks. I can only assume that there are a lot of mad folk round here. Then again this is the country lol.
Nice photo by the way, your a cutie
 

Fairy001

Well-known member
You might not be seeing the best therapist for you, sometimes we have to try a few different people. You have only been twice so I would voice these concerns with the therapist, if you can't face doing that write down how you feel.

Good luck with it.

Peace
 

kuhtreen

Well-known member
I've had two therapists now. The first one was private. This was a few years back but I didn't really find her that helpful. I was in a different mindset and when I look back I don't think I was really open to her suggestions. I was looking for a magic trick that would cure me.

Now the therapist I'm seeing now is quite helpful. He works for the health board which makes me think more positivity of him. Like hes trying to help people rather than just doing it for the money. Only think that sucks is I have to wait so long for an appointment 6-8weeks. I can only assume that there are a lot of mad folk round here. Then again this is the country lol.
Nice photo by the way, your a cutie

Hahaha thanks, and wow that's a long time!
 

kuhtreen

Well-known member
You might not be seeing the best therapist for you, sometimes we have to try a few different people. You have only been twice so I would voice these concerns with the therapist, if you can't face doing that write down how you feel.

Good luck with it.

Peace

Thanks for the advice. I'll stick with her for a while longer 'cause I don't want to give up too soon. But if I don't see an improvement in myself and I don't feel like she's helpful, I'll look for someone else. Then again, I might find a problem with anyone I see, because I always make excuses for myself. :-/
 

Fairy001

Well-known member
I know what you mean, when you are ready you will find the right person I am sure. Therapy is very hard going, we have to be motivated to help ourselves and also be helped by someone we like and trust.

It is great you are sticking with it.

Peace
 
Hi, the only way to get rid of panic and fear is to put yourself in the feared situation. A good web site is Anxieties.com . Order the book "Dont Panic" by Dr.Wilson. He is an expert on socail phobia and ocd.
 

sabbath9

Banned
You say you gave up on self-help books, but did you try any ACT self-help workbooks? ACT is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and in my opinion is 100 times than CBT. Maybe it's not the therapist but the therapy that's not working. You could always ask her if she's heard of ACT.
 
I tried therapy when i was 16 (that seemed like an eternity ago). I tried meds too. It didn't go anywhere though. I wasn't ready.

I don't know if I can ever be without SP because it's so severe for me. But I do believe it's possible to make it better.

I think progress in therapy is like learning to play an instrument. It takes a lot of repetition / drills everyday to get better.

It's a good idea to get a CBT self-help book. You don't have to buy one. You could search ur local libraries for one.
 

Glumlock

Well-known member
I think a lot of people go into therapy expecting it to either cure them (and they are disappointed) or that it won't help at all (in which case they often don't listen to what the therapist says or views what they say as lame or stupid).

Maybe you should stick at getting therapy and see if it goes anywhere. I'll admit, i've never had therapy before, but I've studied it because it's a field of Psychology that i'm interested in. I imagine that a therapy session is going to be like a guitar lesson. From what i read on your profile you play guitar - so do I :) that didnt happen overnight did it? No. It took you alot of work and dedication to learn to play it (I'm just imagining you're a good player but i don't know you, for all i known you could be shit but hey :p)

But yeah all metaphors aside - like i believe someone said before - therapy is like learning a musical instrument, you need to stick at it.

hope this helps :) x
 

Teardrop

Member
Either the therapist or the particular branch of therapy is wrong for you. If I was told to lock my problems up in a jar then I too would quit ASAP. Lets face it, it's basically "think your problems away" and if it was that simple there'd be no mental health issues to begin with! I haven't found the right therapy/therapist for myself either... and frankly it's not like I'm looking... but I think people like us need new ways of accepting our problems and overcoming them by changing thinking patterns and whatnot.

Find out what method your therapist uses. Maybe this is just the getting-you-to-be-comfortable phase and not what the actual process is like. Two sessions from now she may have you following the CBT path. I say this - endure it for a few more sessions and find out what the method is. If there's no change - quit (because what you're getting now sounds like the stuff you get from a 5-buck self-help book and that's just flat-out useless... and a waste of time).
 

doesit

Well-known member
i aswell went to one therapy,and after that never came back :rolleyes: ,the woman there had understanding and she was able to explain some stuff to me,but the thing is everyone here is looking for a magical cure from their therapist or the books,but at the same time ure not willing to move a finger and are hopping that when you go there you will be cured-in this case you can quit then.id advise do as you told,because these people studied for many years and most of them have different methods,the only cure is exposure you get out there have anxiety or panick attack,but you are still alive :) and you do that the next day and again,and again.But instead most people choose just to cry out every time they fail.It happened for me many times aswell,where i would hide instead of trying something.sorry if my post is a bit rough,but the reallity is you dont learn how to drive a car by watching someone else do it or reading a book.
 

Teardrop

Member
I diasgree, doesit. Most people have at least a little bit of common sense and know they can't be magically cured just by "going to therapy". A teenager might think this way. And again, there's no reason to waste your time on something that doesn't work. There are dozens of different kind of therapies out there and if you happen to stumble across one that you know doesn't suit you then there's nothing wrong with quitting. A therapy can only work when it's the right kind. And having one type of therapy not fit you isn't failure. Some people like cats, others like dogs, there's no right or wrong. And if the author of this thread has previous experience with this type of therapy and knows it's not right, then why waste your time? Admit it, move on, and find the branch of therapy that works. This isn't a "one size fits all" situation. When it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit and you're not the one to blame.
 

doesit

Well-known member
i agree to you Teardrop,but its a bit silly to say something doesnt work after two sessions,knowing that to cure anxiety u need at least 6mths maybe more,and still the numbers are very low,thats why most people get used to live with it.the therapist can only advise you how to handle,and think in anxiety situations,but he wont drag you out from the house,and you would still have the symptoms of fear even you know its fake what you think.and if you would repeat same situation for 100 times it would get easier.we could discuss this 4ever but there isnt any real cure for this.
 

Teardrop

Member
If you've only tried it once, then you can't say it doesn't work after 2 sessions. But if you've tried the same method before (in length) and found that it doesn't work, then why bother again? The chance that the result is something different is very slim. For example, they all say CBT is the way to go in case of SA. I have tried CBT 4 times, it has never worked. And I haven't quit after 2-3 sessions, I've done the full thing twice. There's no reason for me to try CBT again, because I already know it's not going to work with me. I agree, giving up after the first glimpse is stupid, but this isn't the case here. Kuhtreen said she has done this before and found it didn't work.
 

jennismortal

Well-known member
Many therapists have themselves experienced struggles with trauma, loss, and mental health issues. While nobody else may feel exactly the way you do, there are enough similarities in the way different people react to what life throws at us to be able to generalize from the experiences of others to the experiences of a specific individual.
And indeed, knowledge of how to help people with various issues and struggles certainly does not require that they have experience with all of the illnesses they treat, whether they be physical or mental illnesses. The surgeon who treated me had never had the specific problem that I had but I wasn't the first person he'd seen with that problem and he had the expertise to help me with mine.
Similarly, while I've had to face a few things in my own life, I've never had schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder, or full blown OCD, etc., but that doesn't mean I can't be of significant help to clients who do suffer from those issues.
 
Top