Fear of traffic/crowds

blank

Active member
Hello folks. I have lived with whatever this is ( social phobia ? ) for too long.
Part of me wants to break out and get a life. The rest of me is just waiting to die.
It is very hard for me to force myself to change.
My biggest problem is driving. I also have a problem with social situations, but mainly driving.

People tell me to just get out there and do it ( drive ).
This would be fine for someone that had a fear of flying since they are are not at the controls of the plane, but the difference is that I am the one driving, and if I make a mistake, it could take not only my life, but others as well.

What are your thoughts on this?

By the way, I am totally relaxed ( and actually enjoy driving ) when there are no cars on the road.

This is my first post. I hope I did it right. ( Thanks ! )
 

Crimefish

Well-known member
I don't drive, but I love riding in the car when my mum is driving. I feel safe for some reason. And the gentle vibration of the carseat settles my stomach. (I have crohn's disease.)
I don't think I could ever drive myself though. the thought of being in control of two tonnes of metal freaks me out. I can't even push the button on a crosswalk for fear of pissing drivers off.
 

Yossarian

Well-known member
I am quite scared of learning to drive. I can't believe how so many people take the responsibility lightly. Even if it were an accident I would hate to live with the knowledge I had killed someone.

On a less dramatic note I just have no need for a car. At least none which justifies the huge cost.

Plus other drivers are so intolerant of one another, not to mention road rage.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
I am 31 and still don't have a drivers licence! I don't expect that I ever will, especially now that I live in a city area.
When I was in a country area I bought a car and was having lessons with my mother. Due to my SP I couldn't go to a driving school. I know it would have been better if I did as I would have got much more experience and confidence. I only used to go very early on a Sunday morning while everyone was still in bed. As soon as I came across another car I got really nervous. It didn't help that it was a manual car either as I had too much to think about, the road rules, how to operate the car etc..I ended up selling the car when I moved.
I always say that I would cause accidents because my nerves would cause me to not think properly. I would love to be able to just jump in a car and go for a drive somewhere. I don't really have the lifestyle that needs a car anyway as I don't go anywhere really. Public transport is my mode of travel!!!
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
I'm okay with driving sometiimes... but I hate traffic lights, it's not the stopping and waiting, it's the thought that the person/people sitting in the vehicle next to me will look at me or stare like they sometimes do-- and I'm convinced they are judging me or ridliculing me. I've been told I'm a 'snob' because I never look around, I just keep looking straight ahead at the light. It also makes me anxious when a vechile is right up on the back of my car wanting to go faster, and if I'm not in the passing lane, and they'd rather just stay on my bumper than pass me.:roll:
When ever I get out in the passing lane I always make certain it is perfectly clear first, but within seconds, another vehcile is right in back of me. :x And I am not fond at all of busy, crowded roads either, especially if I am not familiar with where I am. :? I hate finding or looking for new places/addressess while I'm driving.

Just as with leaving home at all, I put driving off as much as possible and only drive when it's absolutley neccessary, and then, if I can, I wait until times of the day or night when the traffic is at a mininum.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
Anonymous said:
I'm okay with driving sometiimes... but I hate traffic lights, it's not the stopping and waiting, it's the thought that the person/people sitting in the vehicle next to me will look at me or stare like they sometimes do-- and I'm convinced they are judging me or ridliculing me. I've been told I'm a 'snob' because I never look around, I just keep looking straight ahead at the light. It also makes me anxious when a vechile is right up on the back of my car wanting to go faster, and if I'm not in the passing lane, and they'd rather just stay on my bumper than pass me.:roll:
When ever I get out in the passing lane I always make certain it is perfectly clear first, but within seconds, another vehcile is right in back of me. :x And I am not fond at all of busy, crowded roads either, especially if I am not familiar with where I am. :? I hate finding or looking for new places/addressess while I'm driving.

Just as with leaving home at all, I put driving off as much as possible and only drive when it's absolutley neccessary, and then, if I can, I wait until times of the day or night when the traffic is at a mininum.

Hehe, yeah, i can totally relate to all that. The traffic lights one still gets me, I just sit staring straight ahead, certain that the people in the car next to me are all staring and laughing at me. I've no idea why I have such stupid thoughts, but I do.

I also particularly hate driving in towns I don't know, even just looking for a place to park the car is very stressful. I get really panicky if I've studied a map beforehand so I think I know the roads to take, then find myself facing a one-way-street I wasn't expecting. I guess most people are a bit like this though.

Also, I don't think anyone likes having someone else driving up close behind then. I'm gradually getting better at ignoring them and do my best to not change the way I drive. Having said that, I do find myself checking my speedomoeter much more often when someone is up my tail because I'm determined to hold my speed and not go any faster or slower because of them. But I guess the fact that I become so aware of holding my speed means they are affecting me after all. I also deliberatley never turn my head to look in my mirror in these situations to try to give the impression that I'm not even noticing them and that they don't bother me. Of course, I can see them out of the corner of my eye.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
Hehe, yeah, i can totally relate to all that. The traffic lights one still gets me, I just sit staring straight ahead, certain that the people in the car next to me are all staring and laughing at me. I've no idea why I have such stupid thoughts, but I do.

I got the 'snob' title because a friend was actually honking their horn to get my attention and I refused to acknowledge it. One too many painful times I acknowledged a horn to find someone thinking I deserved a obsene gesture for one reason or another (usually because I too drive the speed limit and refuse to go any faster!) or had a few perverts giving me 'tongue gestures'. eeeeuck! Then of course there is always the honker that honks because you didn't lay rubber and pull a Dale Ernhardt when the light turned green. Geeeeesh. :?

I especially despise the honker that is behind ME honking in giving ME obsene gestures and continually honks and if you look in the mirror, you see their eyes bulging out and their mouths open to the limit going a mile a minute as well... the trafiic is piled up and I can go nowhere, but I'm getting all the blame from the driver behind me! What do they expect their actions to produce, a helicopter blade to come whipping out of my roof and I get out of their way via of air travel? -ell! I wish I COULD do that! :D
 

Alexia

Member
Now I must go shopping and I prepare myself for several minutes ( like I usually did ) just to go out ! The cause is my fear for open crowdy spaces ! Sometimes I tell myself : Stop ! There is nothing to fear ! but I just can not stop ! I took some Valeriane ( pretty efficient ) and now I shall go ! Maybe it will come a day when I shall be confident in me !
Hope die always the last !
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
it took me a while to start driiving, it was horrible when i was hitting 16 and everyone was asking me how i liked my license and everything when really i was terrified to do the very thing most kids my age at the time couldn't wait to do.

i finally do now, it was such a burden before knowing that one day i would absolutely have to learn. but once you just do it, you'll feel so much better. i encourage all of you who don't and want to
 

jourjaune

Active member
I was really excited when I first got to drive, but guess what happened on my first outing alone? I hit a car in the parking lot. I was soo humiliated and had the worst panic attack in my life. To make it worse, the people I hit didn't speak any English and I just stood there because they wouldn't let me leave. I had no idea what to do. They called a friend or something who spoke English and he came and told me if I gave them $50 they'd let me go. I was like, "I have no money!" They just shrugged and stared at me. I was nearly in tears when these other guys came over to help me. And waited until my mom came. I never got behind the wheel since and doubt I ever will. Oh and I can totally relate to the 'everyone is staring at me' thought at the stoplights and signs.
 

caliselina

New member
I am so glad that I came across this whilst searching on Google. Makes me feel less alone! I don't have the exact same social phobia, but it's related.

I am terrified of traffic lights, but as a pedestrian. When I am driving I am fine, in fact, I love to drive! But if I am crossing the road on foot, I feel so awkward.

It's because if I am walking towards the lights, and there are other people there who have already pressed that button and the lights change before I get there, I panic that I wont have time to cross before the lights change back to green. I don't like the thought of shuffling across the road, holding up everyone in their cars and being a general inconvenience.

I also panic about the mistake of deciding I don't have time, so I stand there and wait until I can press the button to make the lights go red again and it turns out that I would have had plenty of time to walk across and everyone in their cars are just looking at me, wondering why I just stood there.

It really bothers me! On my route to university, there is a three lane road with traffic lights that I have to cross. If I get nervous about the traffic lights and start to panic, I actually keep walking up the road until I get to a second set of lights and see if I can cross there. Sometimes I can't and I have to walk back down to the first set of lights :(
 

Witty_Name0_0

Well-known member
Hi.

Crossing roads used to really bother me because i would just feel really exposed and i guess i still do. I used to go to university too and your post actually made me think of crossing roads at uni before i actually read that you yourself went to university. Maybe i saw the word university out of the corner of my eye subconsciously. Everything you are saying is very familiar to me. I hated walking by myself at uni. Which is very hard when you have no car. Somehow driving a car to uni seemed like it would be so much better.

I think what i used to do was constantly remind myself that people don't really care about what you are doing or if you make a fool of yourself. They may get a chuckle if you really mess up. But they will never remember. I don't know if this helps as i know that with myself nothing anyone says seems to help me.

Have a good day or night or whenever it is where you are and I will check this thread tomorrow.
 

JA0706

Member
Yeah I don't really like driving, but I have to do it in LA. Do you live in a city with good public transportation? Public transportation can be fun, I would use the time to study or listen to music or read a book or talk to someone interesting. Yeah sometimes weird people are on the bus but still...

I have a really hard time with crowds too. For me its because I'm super super sensitive to people's energies. Do you consider yourself very sensitive (to foods, envioronment, people)?
 

Witty_Name0_0

Well-known member
I bet you she's not gonna post again...



I have a really hard time with crowds too. For me its because I'm super super sensitive to people's energies. Do you consider yourself very sensitive (to foods, envioronment, people)?
JA. I find driving fine, but crowds suck.
 
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