Fear, Anxiety and Phones

MadCat

Well-known member
#1
Ok, here goes....

Basically I could never use phones before, scared to crap of me, but I've slowly managed to go half way over the years. Basically, I can't call people unless they give me a specific time or tell me when. I won't call them just out of the blue because I don't want to disturb/annoy them, or catch them at a time they are busy. The reason I think is because I would feel so rejected if they were busy and couldn't talk when I tried.

Now, I have no problem picking up the phone IF it is someone calling that I know, but if it's a complete stranger I'll just lock up and hang up, or stutter real bad.

Does anyone else get like this? Especially with the not being able to call other people because of the fear of rejection issue, if the person is busy? Basically everyone has to txt me before hand and say "call me" to let me know when to call, or I won't do it, even in emergencies.

Would like to know.
 
#2
Whenever I have to call someone up, on a non-social level, it takes me ages to bring myself to do it. It's like I don't know what to say, or if I am asked my name I don't like saying it! Isn't that weird?

Though if someone called me and I knew who it was, I would most likely answer, I find that easier. Though if I have a call and I don't know who it is, I'll probably ignore it. ::eek::
 

MadCat

Well-known member
#3
Whenever I have to call someone up, on a non-social level, it takes me ages to bring myself to do it. It's like I don't know what to say, or if I am asked my name I don't like saying it! Isn't that weird?

Though if someone called me and I knew who it was, I would most likely answer, I find that easier. Though if I have a call and I don't know who it is, I'll probably ignore it. ::eek::
I know how this is. I really do. Sometimes i sit with the phone in my hand dialing the number and not hitting the call button! I'll wait, and wait...and sometimes it takes 20 minutes before I even hit the button. Sometimes I'll hit it and before it rings I'll hang up and wait a bit more. It's awful isn't it, trying to plan it all out before hand about what you're gonna say!
 
#4
I'm kind of the same way- and I used to be worse. I usually don't just call people "out of the blue" except for my mom, and I love caller ID because if I don't know who it is, or just don't want to talk to that person, I don't answer. When I was younger I never used the phone. Even when someone wanted me to call them, I would just get so nervous- not so much about worrying about bothering them, but because of not knowing exactly what to say, trying to rehearse/imagine how the conversation would go, etc. And I would never make a call unless I absolutely had to or was forced to. Even today when the phone rings it startles me. Funnily enough, I'm less nervous in face to face interactions.
 
#5
Exactly. It can take me that long to bring myself to do it as well. I guess, like anything else, the more you think about it, the harder it becomes. It would probably help if I talked on the phone for social reasons, but I never do! I only talk to people online or, very rarely, in person.
 

MadCat

Well-known member
#6
That sounds exactly like me except for calling someone i know for me its everyone ....
I was like that too with everyone as well. It's only been the last couple of years I've managed to get better. I don't know how old you are, I'm 25. I really feel bad and guilty if I've called someone and they say "I was asleep", it makes me feel awful. Do you feel this way as well?

Edit: Ah just took a look at your profile. You're a bit older than me I see. Does it help if you know that the person you call actually wants you to call them any and every time? Or does the fear of not knowing what to say consume you inside?
 

MadCat

Well-known member
#7
I think, Pink, that it has to do with another phone.

This is exactly how I used to be, and I still am. I will not, absolutely not pick up the land line and yes it just rings and rings, I don't even touch it, I'm too scared.

For me the mobile phone is the only way I can communicate because of the whole txting thing which makes it a little easier to plan things before hand. I think 99% of the time I'm txting on it and that's it.

I'm sorry I can't help you understand why you are like this, but I can give you my support and say that I totally know how you feel. I used to think I was stupid/weird for not doing it and people took the piss out of me because I couldn't, but it's very nice to know other people are to the point that they can't even pick up the phone. I mean, I don't mean it's "good", I just mean it's nice to know I'm not alone.
 

MadCat

Well-known member
#8
Aye! Txting is like a life saver isn't it :) LOL!!

I think another thing that might do it for us (about not talking on the phone) is being put on the spot, do ya think? You know, when on the phone someone says something and we don't know how to answer?
 
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